Present for Christmas? (Video)

Possibly a better present than Thundercat's suggestions on the subject? :)

eHarmony Review

Well, Thundercat posted an article on his blog about eHarmony. From what he was saying, it sounds like the worst site on the Internet. Not only is it a waste of time (literally - time consuming to setup an account), but it also seems like there's nothing but freak show, desperate women on there. AFC's we need you, go over to this site, eHarmony and do some charity work.

In the end, Thundercat ended up saying:

"Over all, I’d say that eHarmony is one of the WORST dating sites for guys out there. Personally, I think that company is kept afloat by a gaggle of desperate, ugly women who struck out on all the other dating sites out there. If you’re looking to get some quality results with online dating, go for a site that gives you more freedom and better search quality, like Match or Yahoo. And if you don’t want to pay for it, stick to MySpace."

If you want the edge with online dating, like a total system with secret techniques and results based on experience from experts, check out David Deangelo's "Meeting Women Online" DVD set. Really awesome stuff.

Donovan

Thundercat (Seduction Masters Interview)

Tell me about yourself!

Okay. My handle is "Thundercat," I'm 27 years old, living in beautiful sunny Hollywood California where the only thing hotter than the weather, are the women who live here.

Currently, I run my own business, and most of my time is spent selling my ebook and updating my blog, when I'm not out trying to have a life.

I've been in "the game" since 1998, when I was a sophomore in college. I've continued through it in varying degrees, but I didn't get hard core until I move out to Los Angeles and started meeting the Grand Master PUAs.

I have a few different websites, they are:

How to Meet Women (Link)
Better Sex (Link)
Bang Hot Strippers (Link)
The Mos Eisley Cantina (as I like to call it - Seduction Lair) (Link)

1. Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life."

Funny story...

So it was a Friday night back in 1998, and I was rooming with this guy who was a real "Jock." Good looking, parents had money, was in a frat, all that jazz. He was basically the kind of guy I'd come to hate, simply because he was everything I wasn't.

So one night, there I am, weighing in at close to 300 lbs, lonely and shy, with no plans for a date what-so-ever. And my Jock roomie comes walking in with two drop-dead hotties.

He just came by to pick up some stuff, but since he was a nice guy, he invited me to go to this frat party he and the girls were going to.

I took one look at the girls and chickened out. It was like the cold hand of death was gripping my stomache and I just couldn't imagine going out with them to a wild and crazy frat-bash.

So I declined, and they left. A few hours after that, I ordered some pizza, and tried to find something to watch on TV. The only thing half-way decent that was on was a rerun of "Three's Company."

At some point while watching this show, I seem to realize that Suzan Summers used to be wicked hot. Still thinking about the girls I decided not to go out and party with, I decide it's time to feel better by "mastering my domain," if you will.

So there I am, alone on a Friday, watching a Three's Company rerun, my dick in one hand, a slice of pizza in the other, and all of a sudden, the true patheticness of the situation hits me.

I had hit rock bottom.

At this point, I don't know what happens. I fly into a rage, throw the pizza against a wall, flip over my bed, and just start wrecking my room. Eventually I collapse and start crying.

When that happened, I basically said to myself: Okay, you got two choices here. Either kill yourself, or stop being so pathetic and get a girlfriend.

Needless to say, I chose the latter.

Once that decision was made, I turned to the only thing I had available to me: The internet!

The first thing I did was go to Yahoo and type in "How to not be a fat pathetic loser." But there was nothing there. Then I started thinking about what I needed to do to get a girl, and typed in "Seduction."

Low and behond, there was Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction site on the first page. He claimed you didn't need to be good looking, and that you could get any woman in bed just by using hypnotic language.

Well, I thought that sounded pretty darn good, so I ordered his course that night, and that was pretty much how I got into the community.

Inspiring, isn't it? =)

2. Have you had any mentors (perhaps well-known pickup artists) within the community/life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you?

Oh, God yeah.

I honestly don't think you can ever achieve anything in life without mentors. And Pick-up is no exception.

The problem is, most men don't have great mentors when it comes to learning about women. Their dad is either absent or clueless, their friends are usually just as desperate and inexperienced as they are, and the women in their lives give them a lot of bad advice on what to do.

When I first started learning about seduction in college, I was in a vacuum. I was too ashamed to tell my friends what I was doing, so it was like my "dirty little secret."

The problem with doing that was the fact that I simply couldn't improve. I had no feedback or guidance, just some audio tapes and access to an online mailing list.

It wasn't until I moved out to Los Angeles and started my own lair that I really started to improve, and that was simply due to having other people who were learning this stuff to talk to and bounce ideas off of.

Since then, I've had the pleasure from learning from some of the best ladies men out there. I don't like to name drop, but here are a few of the people I can say I got a lot from:

Swinggcat
Style (Neil Strauss)
Mystery
Hypnotica
Steve P.
Masterclass
Zan
Craig
Playboy
Sickboy
Christopher
David DeAngelo
Craig
Twenty-Six
Maddash
Masterclass
Roadking
Cameron Teone
Dreamweaver
Rick H.

This list goes on. But the fact is I learn something from EVERYONE I meet in this community, even people you wouldn't consider gurus. Hell, I even learn from people like Ross Jeffries and Tyler Durden. I don't exactly admire those guys, but they've taught me a lot about what NOT to do, and that can be just as important as knowing what TO do.

But I'd have to say that out of everyone, Style (the most powerful of the Jedi) is someone I learned my biggest lesson from. He's the one who taught me how to break my fear of meeting women, and after that, my whole life changed.

Sometimes all it takes is one lesson learned to alter the path your life was taking.

3. Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it's promised results, and how you felt?

LOL

I'd go so far as to say that ALL routines are counter-intuitive. I mean, it just feels weird to do the stuff we're supposed to do, be it dressing like a color-blind crackhead or spouting off 30-odd memorized stories some other dude came up with.

But to answer your question, I'll have to go back to what I said about Style in the previous question.

I was at my first ever Mystery Method workshop. And here I was, a total loser with women by anyone's standards, and I was just taken in by the whole thing. But still, all the instructors were these fairly good looking dudes, and here I was a fat, awkward dude. I just couldn't relate! I was like "Yeah, this might work for you, but what about ugly fucks like me???"

So when Style showed up, here was this skinny, bald dude with a big nose who looked like a young Mr. Burns. But all the other instructors, and Mystery himself, couldn't stop talking about this guy's prowess, so I said to myself: "This is the guy I want to learn from!"

So when it came time for the in-field workshop, I was sure to follow Style. I basically stalked the guy and watched him work. He'd effortlessly walk up to chicks and pick them up. It was the equivalent of watching someone turn their head inside-out and start flying with invisible wings -- I just didn't think it was possible!

Eventually, I walked up to Style and said: "Hey man, I'm freaking out here."

"Why?" he responded.

"I'm too scared to talk to any women. I just don't think I can do this."

Now, there were a lot of approaches Style could have taken there. He could have told me to suck it up. He could have shrugged it off. Or he could have done demonstrations for me all night. But none of those would have helped me.

Instead, he took me away from the main group into a new club, just me and him. And he pointed at a group of two girls and a guy and said: "See that 3-set right there? I want you to walk up to them, use the Who Lies More opener, get their responses, and then come back to me."

"That's it?" I said.

"That's it," he responded.

So I went and did that, feeling like a complete tool. I was thinking "These girls are gonna see right through me. They're gonna laugh at me. I'm going to look like an ass."

So I walked up and said: "Hey guys, who do you think lies more, men or women?"

And the entire group just STARED at me. I was thinking "Ohhhh shit. Here it comes."

But suddenly, to my surprise, the girls started giving me answers. And they didn't just give me an answer, they started arguing over what the right answer was!

After I got their opinions, I went back to Style. I wa totally amazed that this "opener" had actually worked just like they said it would!

So Style kept sending me out to do the exact same thing to more groups. By the third time, I was hooked. I became an approach machine. The next night of the workshop, I ended up talking to 15 women (which was fifteen more than I'd met in the previous year since I moved to LA!).

4. Could you describe what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and/or what options you have with women now?

Well, my life was pretty average, I guess. It's hard for me to know what to compare it to other than the lives of people on TV.

My dad worked a lot, and I was the oldest of three brothers, so I didn't exactly have a lot of male role models. My brothers do pretty well with girls, but I think that's mostly because they saw what I was doing and said "I'm gonna do the opposite of that!" and it worked for them. Lol.

So most of my love/relationship advice came from my mom, who - bless her soul - gave me a lot of terrible ideas about how to attract women. You know, things like: Buy her flowers, be respectful, blah, blah, blah.

I went through high school with three girlfriends, but always felt really awkward around women because I didn't really understand them. I'd always want the girls I couldn't have (which lead to a lot of high school drama and rejection on my part), and I'd settle with the girls I could get (and that never made me very happy).

I kept thinking "If I could lose my virginity, everything would change. I'd know how to be a better man and get more chicks."

It wasn't until I was in college that this happened. I met this girl at a friend's party, and we had a great conversation. She was fairly cute (I'd rate here at a 7.5 in PUA jargon). Her family ran a mortuary, so we talked about dead people a lot, oddly enough. This was around the time I was learning all the "Speed Seduction" stuff, so I tried using all this hypnotic language with her, but she was so drunk it didn't even matter. We ended up hooking up that night, and I woke up the next morning thinking "Okay, so... am I a man now?"

But I honestly didn't feel any different than I did the night before. Still felt lost, still felt clueless.

As things turned out, the girl I slept with didn't even go to my college, she was in town visiting my friend, and ended up leaving. I tried to angle for a "second rendezvous," but nothing ever came of it. So I chalked that success up to: Right Time, Right Place, Right Amount Of Booze.

Since then, I've learned a lot about women and come a long way (at least I think so).

I don't really like to share my personal successes online because people can so easily rip into them. I've seen what happens when Mystery shows pictures of his girlfriends online, and you always have some douchebag going "She's an UG!" and calling him a fake, so it's not important to me to bring the girls I date into that sort of mess just to prove something to the flamers and trolls out there.

I've settled down since my hay-day of going out 5-6 nights a week. I tend to go out on the weekends, and the girls I see are more bred from my social circle than cold pick-ups now, though I still do those occasionally.

In terms of options, I just go after women I like. I don't try to narrow the field, because you never know when someone will surprise you, so I like to keep my options open.

5. What was your hardest/biggest sticking point?

Without a doubt, it's my belief system.

Beliefs are the single, hardest thing in the world to fix. If you believe in bad, negative, and just plain wrong things, you tend to feel that good, positive, and factual things are false.

This can cause HAVOC with your life.

For instance, I used to believe I had to look like Brad Pitt to get a woman attracted to me. After all, women like good looking guys, right?

All I'd have to do is look around, and count the times every time I saw some fat old ugly guy with a really attractive chick. But even THEN, I'd believe that was a special case and I'm doomed to suffer from a life of loneliness.

Once I got into the PUA game, I started to realize than women process attraction in different ways then men do. Most of the girls I've been with don't care about how a man looks (thank God for that, lol). I was talking to an ex girlfriend the other day who recently got engaged, and her husband to be is something like 320 lbs. But guess what? He's smarter than her! And that's why she's into him.

The entire time I was with her, I was miserable because I kept thinking she was going to leave me for a thinner, better looking guy. It was my bad attitude that eventually lead to the break up. D'oh!

It was my BELIEF that I had to look a certain way to get women that would really handicap me. I had so many opportunities where a woman was actually INTO me, where she would have slept with me, but my belief system would say things like:

"She's not really into you. Pay no attention."
"There's something wrong with her if she likes an ugly guy like you."
"It's a trick! She's leading you on only to hurt you!"

The fact was I was just a cool guy these girls dug - but I couldn't see it.

Ever since I started really focusing in on the root causes of my problems - my bad belief system - and have addressed it, things have really picked up. I feel better about myself, and so do the people around me.

6. Do you have a favorite routine/step in your model, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes?

My favorite step is where I can foret all the routines and tactics and just be me.

I'm a lazy dude, and I hate memorizing stuff. So I enjoy it when I can just relate to a woman on a personal level without having to run game on her.

At some point, you HAVE to run game because you need a strategy to get her into bed or keep some other dude from stealing her, or whatever. But for the most part, I enjoy just talking normally without all the BS.

I tend to use an opener when I meet a woman, then search for a commonality to connect on, and try to engage her in conversation before pushing for an "insta-date" or a phone number. That's pretty much my model. It might not be as effective as something like Mystery Method, but it's easier for me to pull off.

7. Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization?

No, 'cause I don't feel I'm there yet! lol.

It's funny because I've come so far from the guy who whacked off to Three's Company so many years ago. I definitely don't consider myself an AFC anymore, and even though I can go out and pick up women, I don't feel like a pick up artist.

I still feel I have so much to learn. I'll probably always feel that way. I'll always feel I need to keep improving and doing better.

I think people who say "Okay, I've reached master level! I don't have to do any more work!" are stupid. People like Mystery, who will not be shy about saying he's the greatest PUA to ever walk the Earth, still tries to do new things and learn from others, which is probably why he's still at the top of the game.

This notion that there are "Ranks" in PUA-dom always makes me laugh. I get emails from guys saying things like "I've decided I'm going to become an mPUA!" Like once that happens you get a metal pinned on your chest telling everyone you're a master or something.

It's such bullshit.

I've been around some of the greats - guys who are considered Pick Up Gods - and seen women tell them to "fuck off," or slap them, or get drinks spilled on them.

And these are the MASTERS!

The fact is, you can't ever qualify success as a Pick-Up artist, because there are too many variables.

Mystery has this "5-for-5" concept which is supposed to determine mastery in the venusian arts, but I completely disagree with it. He thinks if you can approach 5 women and make all five your girlfriend (five successes from five approaches) that means you're a master.

But here's my thing...

Being happy is more important than being a "Master."

Let's say all I want is a fat chick. Maybe that's my thing, where I say "I'm into fat girls!" and I can go out and pick up any fat chick I want. I could walk around and say "I'm a master pick up artist!" But anyone who saw the women I'm with would say I'm full of shit, because fat chicks aren't hot to anyone who doesn't have a fetish.

But if I really LIKE fat chicks, and I'm happy to get them, why shouldn't I be considered a master?

See the quagmire there?

Every man has his own idea of what a "Master" pick up artist should be. But to me, I don't even WANT to be a master. I just want to find 1 girl to settle down with and grow old with. That's my thing. I want a girl who I find attractive and fun to be with.

Some guys want to have 3 bisexual women all the time. Some want supermodels. And everyone has their own definition of what kind of woman is "beautiful."

That's why I hate this ranking stuff. I'll never rag on another man because I don't think his girl is hot. There was a time when people were making fun of Ross Jeffries because he was dating some old fat chick. I don't care what she looks like, because if he likes her, who am I to judge? I didn't even know he could actually get a woman, so I guess that impressed me more than what she looked like, lol.

8. What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

Meet up with other guys who do this stuff, befriend them, and help each other to learn.

There's so much crappy stuff out there, technique wise, that once you meet up with other guys you'll learn what to use and what to avoid.

You'll also have people to keep you motivated, and you'll have people you can speak with about problems and issues, which is vital to success.

Just having guys you can talk about this stuff with can be really liberating, because you may be too embarrassed to discuss it with your current friends.

9. What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve it?

My belief is that inner game is THE single most important factor to success.

But it's also the hardest to improve.

Everyone has different levels of inner game. Some guys need more help than others.

I think when it comes to fixing inner game, it's a three step process:

1. Identify your bad beliefs
2. Be willing to change, even if you have to do stupid or embarrassing stuff to do so.
3. Have the willpower to see it through to the end.

If you can do those three things, you can fix any problem you have.

10. Do you have a personal favorite field report (your own) that you could relay?

I don't do too many field reports, because I tend to write really detailed stuff and it takes me forever to do them. Plus, most of the time I'm out with really high profile PUAs, and they all have girlfriends who keep tabs on them through the internet, so I have to be careful about what I write not to get my friends in trouble, heh, heh, heh.

I have some great stories I'd love to share, but won't, simply because I don't want to write them out. But there are a lot of field reports I did from a few years back, when I was really hitting the club scene here in Hollywood hard. I'll point to on my blog. You can find it here:

http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/field_report/index.html

11. What is your current sticking point (if any)?

I think I already answered that, lol. But if you want a sticking point more related to the community, I'd have to say that it's dealing with all the negativity out there.

There are so many guys out there with so much anger and frustration, I think they take it out on me and others in the community because it's easier to blame us "gurus" than it is to own their failures and try to improve.

I try to ignore most of it and focus on positive aspects of my life, like meeting women, being with friends, advancing my career, etc.

12. What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

Wow, where to start.

In life, my goal is to make a good living, find a good woman, and raise a good family. That's all I want and could ask for.

In the community, my goals are a little more nefarious.

Selfishly, I love having a popular blog because I get to meet some of the most interesting people on the planet. I've met so many PUAs who are amazing, weird, evil, or fascinating just through that, and I learn so much from them all.

I get to see what people think of me and others. I get to shed light on topics I find interesting or important.

I really want to learn more techniques and advice, and meet more people this year. A lot of the old school guys have some good stuff, but it's with the newer PUAs we're going to see the best technology spring from.

I also want to encourage more seduction blogging. When I started, I think there were 1 or 2 other PUAs blogging about their experiences. But then I came along and my blog got real popular, and it inspired other people to start their blogs, which is great. The more the merrier! I think blogs are great tools to help you focus your thoughts and learn about this stuff (plus, you get feedback).

I also want to shed more light on some of the shady business practices going on in the community. I know I get a lot of flack for being "negative" or whatever, but to me, when I hear about some poor guy getting ripped off, I think back to where I was when I first started and how that would have affected me.

At that point I say: What's more negative? Allowing good guys to continue to be hurt and misled? Or shedding some light on what's going on and try to help others find the right system for them?

Because of me, Ross Jeffries was called to the mat on a lot of his B.S. He runs his list like a dictator, telling people they aren't allowed to read stuff that isn't Speed Seduction related. You can't even post a technique on there that isn't about SS, even if it would be helpful (and most of his stuff isn't). The best thing I ever did for myself was get out of Speed Seduction and learn new methods of pick up and seduction. You can't improve in a closed system, but Ross's greed overpowers his willingness to help his students. He'd rather them buy from him than help them get what they need. He also is really insecure about competition because he knows his stuff is no where near as good as other people's, like Mystery's. The best Speed Seduction students all left for better methods for God's sake! But he still keeps on trucking...

I see the same mentality in Real Social Dynamics. It's a real shame, because I actually really liked those guys. Like Ross, they have the ability to suck people into a cult-like atmosphere where everyone is "competition" and if you're not with them, you're against them. That's a negative mindset and it doesn't help people and hurts them in the long run.

But because of my blog, they now offer a Money Back Guarantee! Something they NEVER offered before. It's still not a very good guarantee, but at least I got them to change their practices a little.

A lot of these guys think I'm "out to get them" or looking to "destroy their businesses." I could care less about that. I have no desire to destroy someone's livelihood. But if that livelihood is made by hurting guys who are trying to improve their lives and ripping them off, you bet your ass I'm going to take them to task over it!

To me, this community is about helping other guys. That's what it's always been about. You can still help guys by charging for services and information I have no problem with that. It's when you choose to hurt others to make a quick buck, or for the sake of your ego, that I have a problem with.

So I just want to keep on helping guys in this community as best I can. =)

Other Seduction Masters Interviews:

• Introducing the Seduction Masters Interviews
• Stephen Nash (Playboy)
• Herbal
• Sean
• Neil Strauss

How you can start BEING successful with women

I was emailed this question, from a man in Texas. "How did you start to become more successful with women, and how can I get started?"

My simple answer.... an e-book started my journey.

Do e-books help you attract women, do they really provide that much help to you? Do they help you succeed?

My answer, is YES and NO... (sorry)

I was in a similar predictament as this man from Texas. About a year ago, I was searching through Google, newsgroups, and forums for some relief to the pain I had when it came to attracting women. I always wondered why some men had beautiful women hanging off them and others that were more handsome didn't.

This really perplexed me, as I'm the type of person that wants to understand, so I can have the advantage. :) And thus, my journey started...

So much information, where do I begin?!

The problem in searching Google for some indexed, complied ready-to-go information for seducing women in one place, is the shear volume that's out there. This is the amount of unorganized information on this topic:

"How to seduce women" 2,480,000 results

"Approaching women" 10,600,000 results

"Dating women help" 18,400,000 results

"How to be more attractive" 78,700,000 results

"Understanding women" 88,800,000 results

That is a whole lot of information to process, and you really don't know whether the stuff will work. So I started searching for some quasi-professional help. I started looking into some popular e-books.

I read an e-book called "Without Embrassment". I was impressed, but something seemed to me to be missing that clicked with me.

My search continued...

I eventually found a site called Double Your Dating. The author was called David DeAngelo. I thought the named sounded very cheesy, and I had the stereotype of a grease ball Italian guy trying to sell me his pickup lines. I clicked on the link I found. I subscribed to the weekly newsletter, and found his techniques very disrespectful of what I had always thought was proper towards women, but something inside me "clicked." It intrigued me. I read the e-book and was not totally convinced.

I tried the techniques, like the "Kiss Test" which I received on the first page of the website, totally free. Not only did it work, but the woman was so suprised. She then tried to take the kissing further, it had been the first a woman had ever done that to me. Anyways, that was one year ago. I know so much more about attracting and reading body language signals from women than I ever did before.

I have alot more self-confidence and self-esteem than I used to. I have a current girlfriend that is amazing in everyway. E-books honestly helped me to become this person. I say helped because it is you, you have to do the work. They work.

My picks...

Throughout all my searching on the net, I found a few good ones, that I strongly recommend to my readers when they contact me.

My first pick is Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About How To Be Successful With Women. I pick this e-book because to me it encompasses the perfect groundwork you need to start turning your dating life around. When people ask me, "What got you started?" or "What can I do to quickly turn my life around?" I recommend this e-book. Why? Because it worked for me.

It doesn't provide cheesy pickup lines, and it gives you visual techniques to help your self-esteem. It provides bucket loads of techniques for attracting women, mistakes that you make, how to correct them, and how to move yourself into the frame of mind so that you wont have any confidence problems around women.

My second pick is The Art of Approaching. I only heard about this e-book about 5 months ago. I past along side it, and didn't consider it to be of worth. That was a mistake. This is crammed to the rim with everything that any healthy male would need to know about approaching that beautiful woman across the bar or coffee shop without fear of rejection. It's truly a masterpiece. Thundercat aka Joseph Matthews did a brilliant job on this book. It contains such ideas as approaching groups, using opinion openers, and everything else that just makes it sooo easy to get numbers, and get dates. I'm currently re-reading this, as this is a part of my dating life I want some further specialized information in.

My third and last pick is The Mystery Method Handbook. This system is unbelievable. It has transformed my life. I'm learning the in and outs of the MM model, and applying natural game to it.
This is an update, I have found a full solution to my issues and future in the game with Stephen Nash. I have done lots of soul searching and feel that this is the most complete solution for men out there. I met Stephen and have had personal one-on-one coaching with him. A genius - truly.

This was my journey. There is so much to learn, and I'm glad I have this blog. So I can help those guys looking to change their lives for the better, alittle easier.

Till next time,

Donovan

NEWSFLASH! Seduction mastery websites explode men's success with women!

HOLLYWOOD, Calif. -- Across the nation and even the world, men in search of a way to attract beautiful women are discovering the secrets of seduction from master teachers, which lately have been popping up like wildflowers across the Internet. Some men are adopting the secrets, however many are still in the dark. Men who have used the materials have noticed a dramatic increase in their successes with the opposite sex. There are many impersonations, but there are a select few respectable teachers with your interests in mind.

David Deangelo, founder of Double Your Dating, has been established for a few years, and provides among other things, DVD's, e-Books and audio CD's. His keystone product, "Double Your Dating: What Every Man Should Know About Women", has sold thousands of copies and continues to be the dominate force in the industry. Inside are over a hundred pages of in-depth "alpha-male" attributes and social programming methods to increase your overall self-esteem and success. (Double Your Dating Website)

Mystery, aka Eric, founder of The Mystery Method, is acclaimed as the "World's Most Famous Pick Up Artist", he has systematically created the means by which men can bypass the guards and social programming to attract any woman, any where, any time. He runs live ultra-exclusive workshops, but has just recently released DVD's, and a comprehensive e-Book. Mystery got alot of exposure after he was attributed to be the master teacher of "Style" aka Neil Strauss in his hit book "The Game". (The Mystery Method Website)

Thundercat, aka Joseph Matthews, is the author of a relatively brand new e-Book, in it's 2nd edition, called "Art of Approaching". He goes over, the initial approach and first interaction, in a detailed step-by-step, easy to learn guide. This is the most definitive resource for any man to attract women from the first approach. The e-Book contains over two hundred pages of jam-packed information all about approaching without fear of rejection. (Art of Approaching Website)

"With these guides, it makes it simple for a average looking chump like me, to be around and attract the most beautiful of all women," said Donovan a 23 year-old student from Newport Beach, Calif.

Mystery Method (2): The Approach

UPDATE! Do you want to get Mystery to teach you every step of the way? Check out his DVD Home Course.

LEARN THE MYSTERY METHOD

ATTRACT 1:
Opening

ATTRACT 2:
Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")

ATTRACT 3:
Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")

COMFORT 1:
Connection

COMFORT 2:
Trust

COMFORT 3:
Intimacy

SEDUCTION 1:
Arousal

SEDUCTION 2:
Last-minute Resistance

SEDUCTION 3:
Sex

In the first issue of the OAP, I gave an introduction to the Mystery Method and the M3 model. This model is at the core of most of what we do. To begin a sexual relationship with a women, you have to first ATTRACT her, then build COMFORT, and then finally SEDUCE her. Attract, Comfort, and Seduce are the three elements of the M3 model, and each of those is further divided into three phases. For example, the ATTRACT phase is divided into Attract 1 (or A1): Opening; Attract 2 (or A2) Attracting; and Attract 3 (or A3) Qualifying.

What is opening? Essentially, it's the first 3-90 seconds of an interaction with a woman, whereby you begin a conversation. With opening, there is good news and bad news. The bad news is that opening can be very scary. Men are biologically predisposed to be incredibly nervous when starting a conversation with a woman that we don't know.

There are good evolutionary-biological reasons for this (in prehistoric times, approaching an unknown woman without permission or an introduction could lead to violent retaliation from her extended family), but that's probably not a lot of comfort. Nervous feelings that you get and the little voice that pops into your head creating excuses NOT to talk to that beautiful woman are NORMAL. You will need to learn to suppress them, but they are normal, and everyone -- even MM instructors -- have them.

Some more bad news. We not only need to open (suppressing our built-in emotions) but we have to open well. Opening poorly can doom the rest of your interaction with a woman (and any other women who see it) and make everything else you do a giant waste of time.

What's the good news? With practice, it's actually fairly easy. With some practice and some live examples and feedback from a trained instructor, anyone should be opening successfully, 99 times out of 100, after a couple weeks of work. Most experienced guys don't even think about opening anymore.

The following tips will get you started:

Have a canned opener ready -- This is NOT a night at the improv. Going "situational" (e.g., "it sure is crowded here" or "that's a nice purse") will rarely work. Think about it. If a 22 year old woman has been going out 1 night per week since she was 18, and gets approached 5 times in a night (and all of these numbers are major underestimations), she has been approached 1,000 times before you came along. Most of those 1,000 guys have tried something boring and situational. Use a canned opener -- something that has been repeatedly tested with women and is proven to work. If you don't have even one opener, I'd suggest Thundercat's tactical guide -- how to open. If you don't have this invaluable text, do yourself a favor and spend the $39.95 to get it and have your openers ready before you even go to the club, coffee shop, lounge, etc. He's another former Mystery Method student who knows his stuff.

3-2-1-GO -- The three-second rule was created for a reason. When you see a girl you like, GO. Open her group within three seconds. The failure to do this will "stale you out". Women like confidence. They don't like to be stalked. They like spontaneity. Wandering around circling her, looking at her, trying to figure out what to do next will turn her off and creep her out. Get into the habit of seeing a set and GO in. You've already got your opener ready, right?

Approach at an angle -- Do not walk straight up to the group. Approach at angle, tilt your head over your shoulders, and say your piece. Done correctly (and you almost need to see it to do it properly), you raise your value significantly by demonstrating that you do not need their attention or approval. Hang out with someone who knows what they are doing to teach this. If you don't know anyone, check out the Magic Bullet's ebook.

Smile on the approach -- Don't grin like a moron through the entire interaction, but smile as you walk to the set, and in the first few seconds of the opener. Smile with your eyes, not just your mouth. Smiles can be practiced in front of a mirror.

Be loud enough -- Everyone in the group should hear your opener. Your opener should be loud enough that it cuts across whatever conversations they are already having. Don't shout, but make it socially awkward for them not to pay attention to your opener.

Practice opening -- loudly -- from your chest, not your throat. If you put your hand on your chest, you should be able to talk in two ways: one in which you can feel the vibrations on your hand, and one where you can't. Train yourself to speak in the way where you can feel the vibrations.

Don't lean in -- This is connected to being loud enough. You should project your voice enough that they can hear you from a normal standing position (or leaning slightly back).

Engage the group -- Do NOT go into a group and talk to the woman you want to meet (the target). Engage the whole group. Pay LESS attention to the target.

Neg the target -- The hotter the girl, the quicker you have to neg. I've seen Mystery open with a neg, as well as negging the target within the first 10 seconds of his opener.

False time constraint -- This is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY. Somewhere in the first 30 seconds you should drop in a phrase like "I can stay a second; I have my friends here". This will stop the group from feeling uncomfortable ("how long is this guy going to stay here") while also setting yourself up as a bit of a challenge, since if a woman is interested in you, she knows she'll have to do some work to keep your attention. Make sure you phrase it in positive terms. For example, consider the difference in what is communicated by "I have to go; my friends are here" compared to "I will only stay a second, then I'll leave you guys alone".

There. Do those things, and you should be able to get through A1 (the opener) easily, in almost any social situation.

Another crucial element of A1 is ending it. The opener should be something short, to grab the group's attention and be emotionally neutral. As soon as you spot an opportunity, you should shift into A2 (attract). We'll cover A2 in the next issue of the OAP.

For complete coverage of everything the Mystery Method can offer, download the Magic Bullets ebook

Extremely Dangerous Knowledge by Neil Strauss

Sep 01 '05 Esquire Magazine

I have a subscription to Esquire magazine, and was reading casually when I noticed an article "Extremely Dangerous Knowledge" by Neil Strauss. I was excited! It was like a friends article in a strange magazine. Anyways, if you want to read the article, you'll have to backorder, but here's the part that's free on access at Esquire.com

"WHEN IT COMES TO MEETING and attracting women, many men are resigned and complacent. We figure some guys were born with that particular power and other guys weren't. I wasn't. So, to compensate, I did something so embarrassing, I didn't even admit it to my friends: I embarked on a two-year course of rigorous study and training on the subject of women for my new book, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists . Guided by men who claimed to be the world's greatest seducers (men known by names such as Mystery, Toecutter, Sin, and Juggler), I plunged into an international under-ground seduction community and approached more than a thousand women around the world. In the end, I was transformed from student of seduction to reluctant guru. I offer you now something I never thought I'd be able to provide: a step-by-step primer on attracting women, compiled from the collective knowledge of the world's greatest ladies' men.

STEP 1 APPROACH This is the scariest step. You're going to fail before you succeed. And the failure will come because you broke at least one of these rules. Seven Rules for Approaching Women..."

Most of the material written about can be found in the Mystery Method's new e-Book.