Mind of Mystery

Mystery has been quiet since his VH1 show, but he's silent for a reason. He's been working on his new coaching program which is now ready for aspiring PUAs everywhere.

Check out "Mind of Mystery".

Mysterys The Pickup Artist on VH1

I've posted about Mystery's new show on VH1 called "The Pickup Artist" over at the new blog. Check it out.

Advanced Comfort with Sinn

I occasionally get free time to check out Sinn's blog. I read one of his amazing posts here.

Sinn writes:

"This is really the most exciting stuff that I've ever run into in the community, if you guys were lucky enough to be in NY for Day game a month ago, or Phoenix, or NY this last weekend you guys have gotten a taste of Advanced Comfort.

How this system came to be was as Future and I have become better friends, I would notice that he was getting reactions from girls unlike ANYTHING I had ever seen before, basically girls fell MADLY in love with him. He also didn't get LMR and converted every day 2. in fact recently he helped me when I was having some problems with HB perfect stripper. The guy's comfort game is better than ANYONE I've seen.

So I started to look at what exactly he was doing and over the course of about 6 months we have backwards engineered comfort to produce THE EXACT SAME RESULTS. It truly is the most powerful system I have ever seen for making woman truly crazy about you. Here's a brief preview, plus a couple of new things I noticed tonight. This system was responsible for 16 lays of mine in late June early July of last year.

1. Passion/Purpose- You must be able to convey to her convincingly that you are a man of a greater purpose. That you are going places she will want to be. You are driven to pursue your life goals and do so without any sort of hesitation. In fact your purpose has driven you to become pre-selected by women, a leader of men and a protector of your loved ones.

2. Seeing her the way she wants to be seen. Every woman has a purpose that she secretly strives to achieve. there is a reason why she does what she does, or doesn't do what she wants to. Find out what this value is and you will be able to give her the most amazing compliments she has ever heard. She needs to feel that you see her, as the person that little girl inside her yearns to be.

3. Hot/Cold. The hot comes in the form of the most amazing compliments she has ever heard, the cold comes in the form of SMALL releases. I.E you are absolutely amazing and whatever you want to be I can see you doing that because of x,y and z. Too bad you're such a douche bag. The key is that you do not tell her that she doesn't have what it takes to be who she wants to become.

4. Future Projections- This is different from future adventure projections, which are silly. These are plans that you are making with her anytime from a week to a year down the road, that show her that you are a man of action and she can come along if she wishes.

5. Emotional Honesty- The second part of future plans, is that EVERYTHING that you say you are going to do, you must do. If she ever feels that you are not truthful, the entire power of Advanced Comfort will be lost as she will not believe that you actually see her that way. She will think you are just trying to get into her pants.

6. Whirlwind Courtship- Advanced comfort breaks the rules of only seeing a woman once a week or talking to her once a day. In fact the more time you log, the more powerful the method is as it is further reinforcing your legitimacy.

7. The feeling that both of you are bound for greatness and you are on the same path. The key to this is to show her that you are going to be someone AMAZING, then ratifying that she can be someone amazing and helping her on her path. pushing her in the right directions the way someone did for you earlier. You guys are on the same path, you just happen to be further along.

This is all based on stuff that Future did naturally that I have backwards engineered. This is the real deal. Technology is morally neutral but if you have an undertanding of this, I implore you guys not to use it the wrong way.

This will become a product and a stand alone seminar soon. But I wanted to get this out of my head while I was thinking about it."

Look out for an amazing interview with Sinn, coming soon once my new blog gets finalized... subscribe to the RSS feed as it will automatically be pointing to the new site!

Donovan

Top 5 Dating Coaches of 2006

It's been a very controversial voting but I have calculated your votes (there was 1100+), I have researched the Top 5 most popular, and here are the...



The Results

1. Juggler
2. Neil Strauss
3. David Deangelo
4. Stephen Nash
5. Mystery



Juggler's natural game, and Seduction School pilot helped him seal the deal this year.

Juggler (Wayne Elise)



Wayne Elise is an old-timer within the seduction community. He was the first to start teaching infield workshops back in 1999(?). His game is most based on natural, comfort building conversations. His Seduction School pilot in the UK topped ratings, and helped his business explode.

Learn more about Wayne Elise with his brief profile on my site here.

2. Neil Strauss



Neil Strauss helped the community reach popularity in October of 2005 with the book "The Game". His techniques mirror Mystery's and he was a leader in the community for several years. In mid-2006, he released the Annihilation Method, a DVD collection of his own teachings.

Read my interview with Neil Strauss here.

3. David Deangelo



David Deangelo is one of the longest running "community" dating coaches around. His techniques have earned him the praise of thousands, and his masculine identity products help guys overcome their "wussyness".

Learn more about David Deangelo with a brief profile on my site here.

4. Stephen Nash (PlayboyLA)

Stephen Nash was a resident of Project Hollywood, and former RSD instructor. He left the "game" several years ago - accomplishing all that the community could offer him. After leaving the game, he formed Cutting Edge Image Consulting. Stephen takes the best parts of "pickup" and teaches men how to develop a strong identity, charismatic social skills, and most importantly an attractive and fulfilling lifestyle, which he ultimately believes leads to much higher success than "pickup" could ever offer. (On a side-note, I took one-on-one coaching from Stephen, and it was a life changing session)

Read my interview with Stephen Nash on my blog here, or visit his new website here.

5. Mystery



Mystery is probably one of the world's leading pickup artists. This year was fairly uneventful for him as a dating coach, however the Mystery Method has been more widely adopted than ever before. His terms are now standard. With his separation from the Mystery Method company, this year will probably see Eric more in the community spotlight with new innovations.

Read more about the Mystery Method here.

That's it for this year! It promises to be excellent!
Donovan

Mystery Method Relationship Seminar Redux

Got a email from Savoy (CEO of Mystery Method).

There are only 6 spaces left at the January 27th, 2007 relationship seminar in Los Angeles, he expects them to be full by Boxing Day.

Visit:

www.themysterymethod.com/rm.htm

To see if it's what you're looking for. Then EMAIL me attractionchronicles @ gmail.com to claim your discount.

Hurry and register, this seminar is also personalized coaching after the seminar with Savoy.

Donovan

The Mystery Method Way: Pursuing vs. Chasing:

It’s Sunday afternoon. You met a great woman on Friday or Saturday night, and followed the Mystery Method perfectly. You opened, you created attraction, you qualified, and then you started to build comfort. The situation wasn’t right for you to take it further, so you casually invited her to join you for some exciting event on Monday. She gave you her number.

You phone. It rings a few times and goes to her voicemail. You leave a message. She doesn’t call you back. It’s now Tuesday. What do you do?

1. Maybe call her again next week, but that’s it. You need to have the frame that you have lots of women interested in you and are busy, or else she won’t stay attracted to you anyway.

2. Call or text every day or two with a variety of different approaches, to see if any of them make an impact. Delete the number after a few weeks if you don’t get anywhere.

3. Call every day until she answers. Once in a while call three times in a row to see if that works. After a week or so, drop back to once a week or so. Don’t give up until YOU are no longer interested.

What’s the right answer? Don’t look ahead…

Actually, any of them could be the right answer. In the right context, all of these are okay. Too many beginners in the Mystery Method are too inflexible with the frame that “I have value…she has to come to me” and default to (A). Yes, this is a good frame, and it’s important. However, sometimes you need to do a little bit of pursuing as well.

Why is this? If you obviously have value, why should you have to pursue a woman? Why does she want you to? In short, it’s because this shows that you are genuinely interested in her. In fact, the more value you have, or appear to have, the more a woman will want to see you put in a bit of genuine effort to pursue her. She recognizes that you can have easy conquests, and she doesn’t want to be easy.

Why else? Some women are simply flaky and scatterbrained (so are some men). She may adore you, but you called when she was having dinner, and then she met up with a friend, and now it’s the next day, and she could call you, but now she’s distracted and, anyway, if you’re really interested in her you’ll call again, right?

Why else? She wants to play the traditional female role of being chased. It’s exciting for her, and built into millennia of social programming. It’s not a great frame for men to be in, which is why we short-circuit it when we first meet a woman by disqualifying ourselves during the attraction phase. That’s easy in public, where you can plausibly start a random conversation with an attractive woman without being interested in her (until she wins you over, of course…). It’s not easy on the phone. By calling, you are confirming your interest. That’s why it’s so important to qualify her when you first met, so she feels comfortable with your interest in her, but it does mean that you might feel a little bit of “back to square one” on the telephone. So, yes, she may make you work for it by not returning your phone call. Don’t take it personally.

Why else? Some women are taught “not to call guys”. Yes, it’s pretty silly, but there is just as much silly dating advice for women as there is for men (both you and I are lucky that we found the Mystery Method). There’s nothing you can do about this. Call them. You can fix their silly ideas later.

Now, we covered ages ago some of the crucial tactics to making you she does answer the phone when you call (programming your number into her phone, telling her when you’re going to call, planning a specific event, making her verbalize some anti-flake routines, texting/calling that night, etc.) as well as how to leave a message (leave hooks, cut yourself off, etc.) so we’ll assume that you’ve done all of this, and are still not getting her on the phone. You can give up, of course, and focus your energies on new women. This is totally fine. But you can also set aside a few minutes a day with your “cold” phone numbers and do some of this:

* Vary the time of day when you call. Morning, afternoon, evening, night. If you’re getting nowhere, try calling at 1am. You’ll wake her up, so make sure you can be immediately entertaining from the second she answers. (Start with a high-energy, funny, short routine. Don’t even introduce yourself).

* Call from different numbers

* Try sending text messages – some people simply prefer these to phone calls

* Don’t ever acknowledge that you are calling and she isn’t returning your calls. Adopt the frame – to yourself – that she is just a flaky woman and it’s kind of cute. Don’t let it cross your mind that she might not actually be interested in you.

* Don’t ever say “this is the last time I’m calling” or “I’m calling to leave you another message” – see above. And if you do get her on the phone, don’t even bring up the subject of your previous calls or texts.

* If you phone, and it goes directly to voicemail (and doesn’t ring at all), hang up.You got a free pass. If it doesn’t ring, it won’t show up as a missed call on her phone. She won’t see that you called. If it does ring, leave a message.

On the other hand, don’t turn “pursuing” into “chasing”. If she tells you not to call, stop calling. Don’t be creepy.

NEW! Mystery Method Relationship Seminar

Would you like to learn how to handle a girlfriend?

Would you like to know how to handle multiple long-term relationships?

As I talk to guys, I notice that the community is extremely focused on pickup. We gotta realize that pickup is only PART of seduction, the other part is RELATIONSHIP. The advice you get out in the real world is that you need to be nice, submissive, and the women is mostly right.

Well...

The Mystery Method will teach the best methods for lasting attraction and intimacy. Get rid of those cheating girlfriend/wife worries... =)

Savoy tells me that if you'd like to reserve a spot for this groundbreaking community seminar in Los Angeles at the end of January, you need to get in fast, spots will be limited, so contact me for a discounted 'friends only' price. Not even people on the Mystery Method mailing list/lounge/forum know about this yet. (Their email list has probably over 35,000 members... once it hits there, spots will be gone)

Visit www.themysterymethod.com/rm.htm and remember to mention my blog/name and it will save you $50 off the price.

Don't be a fool, stay in school! - Van Wilder

Donovan

Random Mystery Photo

I was bored at work... so I thought I'd just post up a random club photo of our main man Mystery.



Check out my outline of the Mystery Method, or if you've been living in a hole and are too arrogant to admit that you need help with your game even though your at a "how to seduce women site", check out the Magic Bullets ebook.

Mystery's Holding A Special Bootcamp

I just got wind of a special bootcamp that Mystery will be holding at the Hyatt Regency in Chicago on July 21st-23rd. This is a great opportunity to learn from the "greatest pickup artist in the world".

Click here, then go to the main page to book.

"This Special Bootcamp is not designed for those who have already attended a program. Rather, it is a comprehensive overview of the entire Mystery Method, from beginning to end, including live exercises, video, and interaction with all of the Mystery Method instructors.

In addition, Mystery will be breaking down video of his live pickups -- giving you an opportunity to look "over his shoulder" at what exactly he did, and why. Audio, video, commentary, you name it. Also get the an exclusive look at some of Mystery's newer ideas and concepts."

Reader Question with Answer: Approach Anxiety, and One Night Stands

Some guys have all the luck? It's not always what it seems...

I'm fairly new to pick up and am far from good at it. I went out to a club recently and ended up hooking up with someone that night. She was a very cute Spanish girl that is much more attractive than I normally pick up, but I know not to judge success only on results. I can tell you that I did not resemble a pickup artist that night and she more or less fell into my lap. I attribute this to meeting her right before the club closed so she was already drunk.

She actually approached me saying, "I think I know you from my school..." She goes to college at my school's arch rival so I teased her about that and I think I did a good job keeping her interested in me because we hooked up that night, but if she didn't approach me it wouldn't have happened and I am working on my
approaches. That's another issue. I have her number but no email. I would like to hook up with her whenever I go up there or when she comes down to my school to visit friends. What is the best way to make that situation happen?

Congratulations on the successful lay. I can feel from your email that you aren't overly impressed with it however. Hey, at least you still got laid without paying right?

Ok before I address the situation with the girl. First off you see a problem, and you want to fix it. Approaching doesn't get easier, until you start approaching. So get out in the field and do it! Write up a few routines that you can use consistently and practice. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Check out the definitive guide to approaching beautiful women, which is the Art of Approaching, and make up some original routines that fit your personality perfectly.

Ok, now onto the main question:

I think you might be barking up the wrong tree trying to arrange plans with this girl again. Mostly because you rushed into the sexual relationship without building enough of a connection. Perhaps it was love at first sight, or maybe she'll do it at another club the next week? I'm not sure. The best indicator of future behavior is past behavior...

What usually happens is if your sexual relationship begins before the absolute MINIMUM 4 hours (recommended 7 hours) you get what is called FOOL'S MATE.

You got lucky, basically. She wouldn't consider you as a permanent thing to come back to unfortunately. The key is rapport and comfort after you generated the attraction before a sexual relationship.

From the Magic Bullets ebook

If you go to far (into seduction) before you have enough comfort, you'll
feel like a great player at the time but you won't get laid when (a) you fool's
mate backfires and (b) you get buyers' remorse the next day.

It's the same situation when you don't give build enough rapport and comfort to battle flakes in my previous Reader Question with Answer. Similarly, if you do the same thing and get laid, it will result in flakiness with her not wanting to associate her feelings on the day (when you call) with the feelings of the night before.

Something that you want, is to attract and KEEP the girls you interact with. Therefore, you'll have choice. The choice I think most of us started in this game for. So don't rush in. Control yourself. What's better? One night of sex, or endless nights of sex?

With saying all that, maybe this beautiful Latina will be the 2% of all women that will want to meet up again and pursue you into having you around for sex. Try setting something up, but I personally wouldn't count on much. Work on improving your overall game so that you can get consistent day2's from meeting in clubs.

Reader Question with Answer: How To Prevent Those Frustrating Flakes

Prevention is better than a cure right? Read on...

Hey there!

I have a buddy (no really) who can number close but then has trouble organising a second meeting with the girl. For example, he number closed this one girl who worked at a cafe, waited a couple of days, called her up, got her laughing on the phone, etc. but didn't arrange a meeting, called her up a second time at which point she said she was busy and asked him to call at 9pm the next day, so he did but she didn't answer.

He goes over to the cafe where he first met her to speak to a friend of his who was working there, bumped into her, struck up another conversation, got her laughing, etc. again, and then was on his way out when she said 'hey we were supposed to go out', so he asks if she is free on a couple of days and she says no (you know, one of those 'you free on X day' 'no', 'you free on Y day''no'), so he says 'I'll tell you what, when you're free you call me' she says OK. Anyhoo, she doesn't call for a few days, so he sends her a text, and she doesn't reply. Advice?

Such a common common problem that we've all dealt with at some point throughout this journey of pickup. Glad to know it's your "buddy" and that you'd never have any such problem.

You may have heard about David DeAngelo's 3-minute email and phone number technique. It's a great tool for guys new to pickup to practice. It will give you a huge boost of confidence, especially if you haven't gotten many numbers from beautiful women in the past, and it's remarkably easy (after the first time). The main issue I have with the 3-minute phone number technique that David DeAngelo promotes, is that it doesn't build enough rapport and comfort, and those numbers flake out 98% (unless you're a male model).

Comfort and rapport are both heavily ESSENTIAL for a non-flaking day2. (Day 2 is simply a term for another meetup after the initial meeting, usually isolated with the woman)

From Magic Bullets ebook

This is exactly why so many phone numbers are flakes - not enough comfort. Thus, it's important to have fun, natural conversations with girls, using wide rapport and multiple conversational threads. When she looks back on that conversation, she should be thinking about how she enjoys talking with you and looks forward to doing so again.

The reason for flakes is that she doesn't feel any distinct difference between other men and you. I mean seriously, you asked for her number, and you expect a beautiful woman to simply say "That guy had the BALLS to get my number, I'll give up my valuable time!"

You need to change that into, "I felt we had a good connection, he didn't pressure me or make me feel awkward. I think I'll give him a chance, and I'll see where this goes!"

I started running my game recently to include a deeper level of rapport, and compatibility after I ran my attraction routines. Women RETURN calls, they RETURN text messages, they RETURN to have dates with you.

How do you generate this strong rapport and comfort?

You can try some quick cold reading, grounding routines, even palm reading or handwriting analysis. Something in order for her to feel that you have built rapport and comfort. Although, if you build rapport and comfort right off the bat, it will only hurt you. You could be placed into the friendship hole. You defintely don't want that.

Generate attraction first, then comfort. If you haven't read the Magic Bullets ebook (Mystery Method), I urge you to do so immediately. It outlines the step-by-step method for seduction from meeting through to an intimate relationship. I've previously posted an entire outline to the Mystery Method here.

If you want answers to your questions, simply email me, attractionchronicles @ gmail.com

Donovan

Herbal (Seduction Masters Interview)

Tell Me About Yourself!

I'm 25, living in Austin TX. I've been in the game for about 3 years, tovarying degrees. Right now I barely go out, but back in LA I would often times go out seven days a week and used to teach workshops with Mystery.

Download Tynan's MP3 Rap about Mystery (Click here)

I just started working for a friend who moved his tech company to Austin, and on the side I run my site, www.BetterThanYourBoyfriend.com. I'm actively working on becoming a rapper as well.

UPDATE: Herbal has written his own guide for bringing charisma and energy to your conversations and lifestyle. Read my new interview with Tynan at my new blog.




Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life."

I had a huge crush on this girl for three years. I took a certain amount of pride in not going after other girls - I had the AFC mentality that waiting for her to move back to Austin was a romantic thing to do.

In retrospect, of course, it was pretty creepy.

One day, after having this crush for three years, I decided that I had enough and that I needed to change. A friend had showed me ASF a year prior, but not being ready to give up my crush, I had ignored it. I searched for it again, and read it until the wee hours of the morning. That's when I was hooked.

I then got involved with the Austin Society, and got lucky and got a number my first night out. That success gave me the false confidence to press forward through a lot of rejection.

Have you had any mentors (perhaps well-known pickup artists) within the community/life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you?

Mystery, Style, and Tyler Durden are probably my biggest mentors. Before moving to Project Hollywood I had a nagging worry in the back of my head that I was nothing more than a tenant. What if I moved there and they wanted nothing to do with me? After all, I'd never met Mystery or Style, and had only briefly talked with TD.

However, as soon as I got there any worries I had disappeared. Mystery began teaching me the first week and we were soon going out every night together as wings. Eventually I started teaching workshops with him, which only furthered my knowledge.

I went out with Style and Tyler less, but both of them taught me more than I can thank them for. Tyler helped me understand the importance of learning the skill, and was a huge motivating factor. He was always brutally honest with his feedback, which was very helpful.

Style also gave me a lot of good advice, and his lifestyle which integrated pickup and his real personality and hobbies inspired me.

It's incredibly important to have mentors. Being around someone teaches a lot more than reading what they write.

Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it's promised results, and how you felt?

The whole game was counterintuitive. It honestly never really occurred to me that I could cultivate any sort of relationship with a stranger. I had never been in a bar or club before the game, and hadn't ever asked a girl for her number. That first number I got just blew away my reality and made me wonder what else I didn't know (the answer: a lot).

Could you describe what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and what options you have with women now?

Life was fine before, but I never felt like I had much control. If a girl liked me, I could usually guide things in the right direction. However, the girls always picked me - I had no choice in the matter.

I don't really go out anymore. I'm not terribly interested in girls who are into the party scene. But now when I see a girl I'm interested in, I can start talking to her and know that she will be attracted to me. In fact, the process is so internalized and subconscious now that I KNOW that any girl I spend fifteen minutes around will like me.

What was your biggest sticking point?

My biggest sticking point was, and still is, going for the first kiss. I am awful at it. I get nervous and then usually end up finally doing it much later than I should have.

Part of the problem is that I'm much more picky than I deserve to be, and I've never "practiced" with less desirable girls. Oh well - I guess there are worse problems to have.

Do you have a favorite routine/step in your model, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes?

"When I first met you, I didn't really like you. Now that I get to know you - you're amazing"

I don't know if I actually ever say those exact words, but I love the sentiment. It's one of Mystery's lines. It's usually also the truth, and I love the reaction it gets.

It says...

"I am picky"
"I like you for more than your beauty"
"I'm not chasing you"
"I'm honest"
And "I like you"

... all in one little phrase.

Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization?

I wouldn't consider myself a master. I'm not an AFC either, but when I see people like Mystery or Tyler Durden in the field I realize how much better it's possible to be.

There was one set I did in LA that really sticks out in my mind, though. I was at Lotus with Tyler and a bunch of other people. I chatted up the hottest girl in there, and she was head over heels. I had her feeding me sushi that some other guy bought, begging for my number while these tall modely guys begged for hers, and kissed her goodbye. Later I found out that she was a professional model and even had model trading cards that people bought and sold on ebay.

When I got home she had already left a message on my phone. We never ended up seeing each other because shortly after meeting her I got involved with Katya, but she was still calling me even after I moved back to Austin.

That set made it blatantly obvious that I COULD attract any girl. Before pickup, I would have assumed that she would have no interest in even talking to me. Now I walk around with the confidence that I can get any girl, which is a great feeling to have.

What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

I could write a book here. Take a workshop, first of all. I was always too proud to take a workshop. I didn't need to spend money to get good. It's true - I didn't, but I would have gotten much better much faster if I had.

Now I'm fortunate enough to be friends with most of the seminar and workshop people, so I can sit in, but it's not the same. If I could go back and pay to have a real workshop, I'd do it. I had no idea how high quality these programs were (specifically Mystery, RSD, Pickup 101, and The Approach).

After you take your workshop, go out religiously. I taught with Mystery for a while, and the people who got good were the people who applied what they learned.

Also - dedicate your life to it. EVERYONE who has gotten very good has done this. It's equally important to take a step back later and see what's stuck with you. But in the beginning - dedicate your life to it.

I MOVED ACROSS THE COUNTRY to get involved. I had a house in Austin that I kept paying the mortgage on while I was in LA. I literally spent all of my savings on the deposit for my chunk of Project Hollywood and had no idea how I was going to pay the rent when I got there.

You're not going to get good starting out two nights a week on your own. It just won't happen. Surround yourself with people who are GREAT (not your fellow AFC friends who are also learning). Go out a lot.

Pickup is both the hardest skill you'll ever learn and the most important. Everyone I know who is any good will say it's the most important thing they've learned, because it applies to EVERYTHING, not just women. I have better relationships with friends, family, and business associates because of it. Do what it takes to get this.

What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve it?

Inner game is essential, especially as you get later in your game. Don't use it as an excuse, though. I see a lot of guys "working on their inner game" instead of going out. That's crap.

You improve your inner game by being in the field. What would have helped me more? 1000 affirmations saying "hot girls love me" or picking up that model and KNOWING that hot girls love me?

Learning pickup should be the process of amplifying who you are. You're not changing who you are. That's a mistake. You weed out your bad traits and amplify the good ones. Figure out what you like about yourself and what others like about yourself and make THAT be your core.

Habits that you want to kick and that are unattractive need to be minimized or eliminated.

The best way to cultivate a strong inner game is to be out in the field constantly while being hyper aware of everything you do and how it affects others. Every single thing you do or say will get a subtle reaction from everyone in the set. Take note of that.

Do you have a personal favorite field report (your own) that you could relay?

It was the 2004 pickup summit that I organized (see how involved I got?), and everyone was there. More importantly, everyone was trying to show off.

Thundercat and Cristophe were talking to two girls of a three set. The last girl was facing away from the group and had the coldest body language I'd ever seen.

The One came up to me and pointed her out.

"Dude, that girl is really cold. Try talking to her."

It sounded like a challenge to me. PUAs from all over the world were watching, and I had a lot to prove since I had just moved to ProHo.

I walked up and started talking. She ignored me. I just stacked and stacked and stacked, totally unwilling to walk away as a failure. She didn't acknowledge my presence. In any other situation I would have given up long ago, but too many people were watching.

Finally I said something funny and I noticed that the corner of her mouth, the only part I could see, had broken into a slight smile.

"I caught you!" I said, "You've been sitting here being entertained this whole time while I stand here like an idiot? Forget this..."

I started walking away, knowing that she would turn around.

"No... wait!"

I turned and saw that she was smiling. She looked embarrassed. We started talking like normal, and she became attracted to me. Hey, who can blame her?

Thundercat, Cristophe, the three girls, and I walked to Mel's as I had gotten used to doing every night.

During dinner I tried to use a new lying game Style had taught me. Unfortunately I introduced it without really knowing how to follow up.

"Did you know that you can tell if someone's lying just by looking in their eyes?"

"Really, how? Ask me something and tell me if I'm lying or not"

Oops. That's not how this is supposed to go. I got an idea.

"Ok. Do you want to kiss me?"

"No."

"You're lying."

Really, was there anything else I could say? Kissing's always been my big sticking point, so I figured I might as well practice. She was cute.

"No I'm not."

It was a test. I could now tell that she was attracted.

"Yes you are. And now that you've lied to me, I'm NOT going to kiss you."

There was a pause.

"I'm sorry for lying! I didn't know what to say!"

I shrugged apologetically and kept eating. She apologized a couple more times, now very eager to kiss me.

On the way back up to the house I asked her why she was in a bad mood earlier. It was a guy.

Some guy had chatted her up. She didn't like him, but gave him her number in hopes that it would end the conversation.

It did, but then he called her every day until she finally answered. He badgered her into going on a date with her.

Then he badgered her into being his girlfriend.

She had broken up with him earlier that day and was calling her incessantly. That's why her phone was ringing every few minutes. I answered once and told him I was her new boyfriend and to stop calling. He was furious.

We got up to the house and laid down in the pillow pit. I made out with her, but it wasn't really appropriate. There were 20+ PUAs standing in the living room. Maybe that's why I did it.

It didn't seem to be going as well with Thundercat and Cristophe's girls (maybe they weren't interested in the girls, I dunno), so soon the girls left.

My girl and I called each other a few times, but suddenly she stopped calling back. Oh well.

More than six month later I was eating dinner with Mystery when he got a call from TD.

"Dude... tell Herbal to answer his phone. Someone's going to call him."

Sure enough my phone rang. It was that girl. I let it go to voicemail for some reason and her message said :

"Hey Herbal! I'm so sorry I never called you back. I lost your number! I just met your friend Tyler and he used the same tricks on me that you used! We should hang out again! Call me!"

I was dating Katya at the time, so I never called her back. I like that set because I learned a lot. It shows how importance persistence is (both with her boyfriend and me). If I can turn around a set like THAT, I can turn around any set. I probably talked to her back for at least five minutes.
That's a long time when the other person is totally ignoring you.

What is your current sticking point (if any)?

The biggest problem I have these days if finding girls I'm seriously interesting in pursuing.

As it's become easier to attract higher quality girls, my standards have gone up to match. How many beautiful girls do you know who are interesting and fun to be around, but don't drink or smoke?

Luckily I've got some ideas that I'll be putting into action soon for meeting women like that.

What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

I don't really have any goals within the community now, other than to see my friends who are actively involved in it succeed.

In life I focus on constant improvement. I want my relationships to be better, my business to be better, and for my health to be better.

I was hanging out with JLaix in San Francisco last week and he told me that his goal was to gain proficiency in 10 new areas this year (or was it in six months?) I thought that was a great goal and I might borrow it.

Other Seduction Masters Interviews:

• Introducing the Seduction Masters Interviews
• Stephen Nash (Playboy)
• Thundercat
• Sean
• Neil Strauss
  

Mystery Method (6): Seduction

UPDATE! Do you want to get Mystery to teach you every step of the way? Check out hisDVD Home Course.

LEARN THE MYSTERY METHOD

ATTRACT 1:
Opening

ATTRACT 2:
Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")

ATTRACT 3:
Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")

COMFORT 1:
Connection

COMFORT 2:
Trust

COMFORT 3:
Intimacy

SEDUCTION 1:
Arousal

SEDUCTION 2:
Last-minute Resistance

SEDUCTION 3:
Sex

If you remember from OAP 5, you enter the Seduction phases after you and her have spent (usually) at least a few hours together, but not more than about 10.



Seduction is a pretty easy element in itself. It goes wrong for a lot of guys, but this is because of mistakes in Comfort that only become apparent when you try to close the deal in Seduction. It's like trying to tell a joke. You may feel that you can't deliver punch lines well, because you don't get the laughs. But the mistake may not be in the delivery of the punch line. Your punch line may be just fine. But if the buildup and lead-in aren't any good, no punch line in the world will save you. Seducing a woman is the same way. If you haven't done your groundwork, there's no Seduction game in the world that will help you.

If you'll permit me a small tangent here, this is a frequent pattern in the Mystery Method. Problems in one phase often don't become apparent until a later phase. For example, many guys who think they have problems in attracting a woman (A2: Attraction) often have decent attraction skills but are bad at opening (A1: Opening). If you start off badly or awkwardly, it's much harder to make a woman receptive to your attraction material. So the cause of the problem is in A1, but the symptom only appears in A2. Similarly, guys who have trouble in Comfort don't realize that this is often due to rushing through or skipping (A3: Qualification).

How do you know if your Comfort game was smooth? Well, ideally, you should be entering Seduction with the following elements already in hand:

• You've spent 4-10 hours together
• You've kept the attraction/sexual tension with her going while making her comfortable with you and trusting you.
• It feels totally normal to both of you that you are touching each other (non-sexually).

(If you can't get this done consistently, go back re-read OAP 5. If that doesn't work, get the ebook and at least DVD 3 of the Mystery Method Video Archive. I'm not trying to sell you stuff you don't need, just telling you where things are. L'il ol' Francis doesn't make any money whether you buy anything or not)

All good with Comfort? Great. Now let's jump into Seduction.

Seduction, to a successful man, is mostly about logistics. You have attraction. You have comfort. She is ready to sleep with you. She may not think she is, but that's because she is conditioned to avoid -- at all costs -- feeling like she is 'easy'. That's one of the worst things one woman can say to another. So be understanding of her psychology, and LEAD her to sex so she doesn't have to take responsibility or feel easy. Three key rules:

1. Make it feel "natural". Any time a woman thinks "If I do this (go home with him / let him take my bra off / etc), it's going to lead to sex", there is a risk that she won't do it, even if she actually wants to sleep with you. Don't argue with this logically; it is part of many women's psychological makeup and we have to work with it. This can be very subtle. Saying to a woman "would you like to come back to my house" makes her decide right then and there if she wants to escalate sexually. In contrast, going for a walk, passing by your house, leading her inside "for a second" while you get your wallet or use the bathroom, will not trigger that reflex in women if done properly. Result is the same -- she's in your house -- but you haven't triggered any of her reflexes to avoid thinking of herself as "easy".
   
   
2. Distract her when it's necessary to be "unnatural". Say you are leaving a party with an attractive woman. You each live 20 minutes away, in opposite directions. No matter how good you are, and how good your excuse is to bring her home, you will not be able to avoid the fact that she's going in the opposite direction from her home to go to a man's house. In this case, don't make it a decision for her. Hold her hand and lead her to your car. Don't ask; assume she's getting in. Keep talking the whole time, telling her interesting stories so she's not left alone with her thoughts. I've literally gone on 20-minute monologues to entertain and distract a woman through especially awkward "unnatural" moments (e.g., waiting in line to check into a hotel).
   
   
3. Location, location, location. Attraction and Comfort can -- theoretically -- take place anywhere. Seduction can usually only take place in private. While it's theoretically possible to close the deal in a restaurant bathroom, it's not what most of us are going for here. So realize that you are going to have to get her to your house (or possibly her house, but yours is better). Plan for this. Don't spend all of your Comfort-building time on the other side of town. Make her comfortable with your living quarters before you get into Seduction. If she's learned that she's safe and can have fun at your house during Comfort without your trying to sleep with her, she's much more likely to follow you there when it's time for sex.

Got it? Ok, let's dive a bit deeper.

Make it Feel Natural

Have you been a passenger in a car, when you are enjoying the ride, talking to your friend who is driving, and then looked up and thought "wow, we're here already". This is because there were no 'state breaks'. Nothing that made you suddenly change your mental state. For example, the driver never stopped to ask for directions, felt nervous about arriving at your destination, or left you feeling bored and wondering where you were going. More than likely you were talking about enough interesting things and sharing each others' company enough that you stopped thinking about the fact that you were in a car going someplace. That's how to seduce a woman. In bed afterwards, try asking her "so . . . how did THIS happen?" If she says "well, I was horny, you were cute, you did this, I did that, and now here we are", you still have room to improve your game (though congratulations on the result anyway). If she says "I don't know . . . it just happened" you are on the road to becoming a Mystery Method man.

Distract her when it's Necessary to be "Unnatural"

Also known as managing state breaks. Some state breaks are inevitable. A few techniques are valuable to getting over them. One is to oversell whatever is on the other side. For example, if you are moving her from your living room couch to the bedroom, say something like "I have more pictures in here . . . you said you like Miro right? Oh my god, come check this out, you will DIE" while holding her hand and leading her into your bedroom. Much better than "I have a new lamp in my bedroom, want to see?"

Location, location, location

Let's assume you got her to your house. You're on home turf now. Everything is perfectly set up for seduction, right? It had better be. This is something TOTALLY under your control and there is NO excuse for not giving yourself every chance to succeed. It's like training for months for the big race and then wearing running shoes with broken laces. There is so much that is difficult or not under your control in this game that you can't afford to make mistakes on the stuff that is.
It should be clean. It doesn't have to be spotless, but it should be clean enough for a woman to be comfortable. The bathroom, especially, should be hygienic.

The living room (or wherever you plan to bring her) should be laid out so there is no obvious way for you both to sit down but side by side together on a couch. If you have chairs, pile stuff on them or get rid of them before she comes over so she can't sit there.

Have fun things to do if you still need to build comfort. Interactive fun is better than cool DVDs. Fun truth-or-dare games, an easy 3D jigsaw puzzle, whatever.

Some romance and implied sexuality never hurt. Have champagne, have strawberries, and have whipped cream around. Don't be cheesy with them, but realize you have them and can break them out when needed.

Alcohol can build comfort and also let a woman feel less responsible ("I can justify this to myself because I'm drunk even if I just had two drinks"). Have drinks that women like. Many women -- not all, of course -- prefer wine to beer, shooters to shots, vodka to rum, and sweet mixers to bitter ones. Learn how to make drinks women order when they are having fun. Cosmopolitans and Margaritas are good places to start.

Condoms are the ultimate state break. Keep them near the bed, where you can get to them easily and unobtrusively. You will inevitably lose out at least once with a woman who was quite happy to sleep with you until you introduced a state break and reached for the condoms. Live with this. Literally. Unsafe sex is never an option. Lose the girl, not your health.

Seduction is kind of a touchy subject for a lot of people. Especially when we talk about minimizing state breaks and not giving women a lot of time to sit and think about whether they really want to begin a sexual encounter. So I want to be very clear that we are talking about seduction, not manipulation. There's no need to manipulate a woman into sex. All we're trying to do is lessen her feelings of guilt and responsibility for the first time. Yes, we tell it like it is, not how society wants it to be. And yes, some women are very comfortable with their sexuality and choices and don't require men to lessen their feelings of guilt and responsibility. They are often great catches, but are not the majority.

One final thing to remember -- to you, No will always mean No. Even when it doesn't mean No to the woman who said it (it can mean no, but it can also mean not yet, not like that, not here, not until you've convinced me, or yes but don't make me feel easy), it will mean No to you. You can try again later or you can try something else, but you cannot ignore a "no". You have no way of knowing for sure what no means, and it's simply wrong to assume that you do. Successful men never have to ignore a "no" and successful men also know that there are many willing women ready to replace the one who might not be.

For complete coverage of everything the Mystery Method can offer, download the Magic Bullets ebook

.

Advanced A3 Qualification Tips

One part of the Mystery Method that helps to prevent flakes, especially if you're concentrating on day game, is A3. It's the Male to Female Attract section. (If this sounds like another language... visit the links below for more information)

This stage comes about 15-minutes into the interaction. By doing two or three qualifications, in interesting ways, it will help reduce the amount of flakes that you may have for Day2's.

Taken from Mystery's OAP, to view past editions of the Online Apprentice Program, go to our Table of Contents, under "Mystery Method". This is an advanced section of Issue 4.

I have to admit, writing a short "advanced section" for A3: Qualification is hard. This is the hardest phase of the whole game, and we spend by far the most time on this in our Magic Bullets ebook, DVDs, telephone consultations, and live programs. So, I'll give a few nuggets of "advanced" advice here, but realize that there's lots more to it than this. Future issues of the OAP will cover this material in greater depth.

So far, we focused mostly on the verbal portion of qualification. There is also a crucial non-verbal component. Your body language must match your explicit language. When you bait, you are neutral, even slightly dismissive. When you hook and reel, you give her your full attention and SHOW how interested you are. When you release, do it solidly, so she FEELS the change in the attention and validation she is getting.

The "bait" doesn't have to be a question. It's more natural and fluid (though harder to pull off) to bait her with a statement that she responds to. For example, instead of "what would you like to be, if you could do anything?", try "I really love home-cooked meals. Especially Italian." If she's into you (from A2: Attraction), she can "hook" by talking about the great lasagna she makes.

Don't confuse the Qualification Phase with real qualification. You still haven't known her for long enough (remember, we're about 15 minutes into an interaction here) to actually make decisions about her yet. This is all a game so far. In Comfort is where you decide whether you like each other. Right now you're just flirting.

Thundercat (Seduction Masters Interview)

Tell me about yourself!

Okay. My handle is "Thundercat," I'm 27 years old, living in beautiful sunny Hollywood California where the only thing hotter than the weather, are the women who live here.

Currently, I run my own business, and most of my time is spent selling my ebook and updating my blog, when I'm not out trying to have a life.

I've been in "the game" since 1998, when I was a sophomore in college. I've continued through it in varying degrees, but I didn't get hard core until I move out to Los Angeles and started meeting the Grand Master PUAs.

I have a few different websites, they are:

How to Meet Women (Link)
Better Sex (Link)
Bang Hot Strippers (Link)
The Mos Eisley Cantina (as I like to call it - Seduction Lair) (Link)

1. Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life."

Funny story...

So it was a Friday night back in 1998, and I was rooming with this guy who was a real "Jock." Good looking, parents had money, was in a frat, all that jazz. He was basically the kind of guy I'd come to hate, simply because he was everything I wasn't.

So one night, there I am, weighing in at close to 300 lbs, lonely and shy, with no plans for a date what-so-ever. And my Jock roomie comes walking in with two drop-dead hotties.

He just came by to pick up some stuff, but since he was a nice guy, he invited me to go to this frat party he and the girls were going to.

I took one look at the girls and chickened out. It was like the cold hand of death was gripping my stomache and I just couldn't imagine going out with them to a wild and crazy frat-bash.

So I declined, and they left. A few hours after that, I ordered some pizza, and tried to find something to watch on TV. The only thing half-way decent that was on was a rerun of "Three's Company."

At some point while watching this show, I seem to realize that Suzan Summers used to be wicked hot. Still thinking about the girls I decided not to go out and party with, I decide it's time to feel better by "mastering my domain," if you will.

So there I am, alone on a Friday, watching a Three's Company rerun, my dick in one hand, a slice of pizza in the other, and all of a sudden, the true patheticness of the situation hits me.

I had hit rock bottom.

At this point, I don't know what happens. I fly into a rage, throw the pizza against a wall, flip over my bed, and just start wrecking my room. Eventually I collapse and start crying.

When that happened, I basically said to myself: Okay, you got two choices here. Either kill yourself, or stop being so pathetic and get a girlfriend.

Needless to say, I chose the latter.

Once that decision was made, I turned to the only thing I had available to me: The internet!

The first thing I did was go to Yahoo and type in "How to not be a fat pathetic loser." But there was nothing there. Then I started thinking about what I needed to do to get a girl, and typed in "Seduction."

Low and behond, there was Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction site on the first page. He claimed you didn't need to be good looking, and that you could get any woman in bed just by using hypnotic language.

Well, I thought that sounded pretty darn good, so I ordered his course that night, and that was pretty much how I got into the community.

Inspiring, isn't it? =)

2. Have you had any mentors (perhaps well-known pickup artists) within the community/life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you?

Oh, God yeah.

I honestly don't think you can ever achieve anything in life without mentors. And Pick-up is no exception.

The problem is, most men don't have great mentors when it comes to learning about women. Their dad is either absent or clueless, their friends are usually just as desperate and inexperienced as they are, and the women in their lives give them a lot of bad advice on what to do.

When I first started learning about seduction in college, I was in a vacuum. I was too ashamed to tell my friends what I was doing, so it was like my "dirty little secret."

The problem with doing that was the fact that I simply couldn't improve. I had no feedback or guidance, just some audio tapes and access to an online mailing list.

It wasn't until I moved out to Los Angeles and started my own lair that I really started to improve, and that was simply due to having other people who were learning this stuff to talk to and bounce ideas off of.

Since then, I've had the pleasure from learning from some of the best ladies men out there. I don't like to name drop, but here are a few of the people I can say I got a lot from:

Swinggcat
Style (Neil Strauss)
Mystery
Hypnotica
Steve P.
Masterclass
Zan
Craig
Playboy
Sickboy
Christopher
David DeAngelo
Craig
Twenty-Six
Maddash
Masterclass
Roadking
Cameron Teone
Dreamweaver
Rick H.

This list goes on. But the fact is I learn something from EVERYONE I meet in this community, even people you wouldn't consider gurus. Hell, I even learn from people like Ross Jeffries and Tyler Durden. I don't exactly admire those guys, but they've taught me a lot about what NOT to do, and that can be just as important as knowing what TO do.

But I'd have to say that out of everyone, Style (the most powerful of the Jedi) is someone I learned my biggest lesson from. He's the one who taught me how to break my fear of meeting women, and after that, my whole life changed.

Sometimes all it takes is one lesson learned to alter the path your life was taking.

3. Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it's promised results, and how you felt?

LOL

I'd go so far as to say that ALL routines are counter-intuitive. I mean, it just feels weird to do the stuff we're supposed to do, be it dressing like a color-blind crackhead or spouting off 30-odd memorized stories some other dude came up with.

But to answer your question, I'll have to go back to what I said about Style in the previous question.

I was at my first ever Mystery Method workshop. And here I was, a total loser with women by anyone's standards, and I was just taken in by the whole thing. But still, all the instructors were these fairly good looking dudes, and here I was a fat, awkward dude. I just couldn't relate! I was like "Yeah, this might work for you, but what about ugly fucks like me???"

So when Style showed up, here was this skinny, bald dude with a big nose who looked like a young Mr. Burns. But all the other instructors, and Mystery himself, couldn't stop talking about this guy's prowess, so I said to myself: "This is the guy I want to learn from!"

So when it came time for the in-field workshop, I was sure to follow Style. I basically stalked the guy and watched him work. He'd effortlessly walk up to chicks and pick them up. It was the equivalent of watching someone turn their head inside-out and start flying with invisible wings -- I just didn't think it was possible!

Eventually, I walked up to Style and said: "Hey man, I'm freaking out here."

"Why?" he responded.

"I'm too scared to talk to any women. I just don't think I can do this."

Now, there were a lot of approaches Style could have taken there. He could have told me to suck it up. He could have shrugged it off. Or he could have done demonstrations for me all night. But none of those would have helped me.

Instead, he took me away from the main group into a new club, just me and him. And he pointed at a group of two girls and a guy and said: "See that 3-set right there? I want you to walk up to them, use the Who Lies More opener, get their responses, and then come back to me."

"That's it?" I said.

"That's it," he responded.

So I went and did that, feeling like a complete tool. I was thinking "These girls are gonna see right through me. They're gonna laugh at me. I'm going to look like an ass."

So I walked up and said: "Hey guys, who do you think lies more, men or women?"

And the entire group just STARED at me. I was thinking "Ohhhh shit. Here it comes."

But suddenly, to my surprise, the girls started giving me answers. And they didn't just give me an answer, they started arguing over what the right answer was!

After I got their opinions, I went back to Style. I wa totally amazed that this "opener" had actually worked just like they said it would!

So Style kept sending me out to do the exact same thing to more groups. By the third time, I was hooked. I became an approach machine. The next night of the workshop, I ended up talking to 15 women (which was fifteen more than I'd met in the previous year since I moved to LA!).

4. Could you describe what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and/or what options you have with women now?

Well, my life was pretty average, I guess. It's hard for me to know what to compare it to other than the lives of people on TV.

My dad worked a lot, and I was the oldest of three brothers, so I didn't exactly have a lot of male role models. My brothers do pretty well with girls, but I think that's mostly because they saw what I was doing and said "I'm gonna do the opposite of that!" and it worked for them. Lol.

So most of my love/relationship advice came from my mom, who - bless her soul - gave me a lot of terrible ideas about how to attract women. You know, things like: Buy her flowers, be respectful, blah, blah, blah.

I went through high school with three girlfriends, but always felt really awkward around women because I didn't really understand them. I'd always want the girls I couldn't have (which lead to a lot of high school drama and rejection on my part), and I'd settle with the girls I could get (and that never made me very happy).

I kept thinking "If I could lose my virginity, everything would change. I'd know how to be a better man and get more chicks."

It wasn't until I was in college that this happened. I met this girl at a friend's party, and we had a great conversation. She was fairly cute (I'd rate here at a 7.5 in PUA jargon). Her family ran a mortuary, so we talked about dead people a lot, oddly enough. This was around the time I was learning all the "Speed Seduction" stuff, so I tried using all this hypnotic language with her, but she was so drunk it didn't even matter. We ended up hooking up that night, and I woke up the next morning thinking "Okay, so... am I a man now?"

But I honestly didn't feel any different than I did the night before. Still felt lost, still felt clueless.

As things turned out, the girl I slept with didn't even go to my college, she was in town visiting my friend, and ended up leaving. I tried to angle for a "second rendezvous," but nothing ever came of it. So I chalked that success up to: Right Time, Right Place, Right Amount Of Booze.

Since then, I've learned a lot about women and come a long way (at least I think so).

I don't really like to share my personal successes online because people can so easily rip into them. I've seen what happens when Mystery shows pictures of his girlfriends online, and you always have some douchebag going "She's an UG!" and calling him a fake, so it's not important to me to bring the girls I date into that sort of mess just to prove something to the flamers and trolls out there.

I've settled down since my hay-day of going out 5-6 nights a week. I tend to go out on the weekends, and the girls I see are more bred from my social circle than cold pick-ups now, though I still do those occasionally.

In terms of options, I just go after women I like. I don't try to narrow the field, because you never know when someone will surprise you, so I like to keep my options open.

5. What was your hardest/biggest sticking point?

Without a doubt, it's my belief system.

Beliefs are the single, hardest thing in the world to fix. If you believe in bad, negative, and just plain wrong things, you tend to feel that good, positive, and factual things are false.

This can cause HAVOC with your life.

For instance, I used to believe I had to look like Brad Pitt to get a woman attracted to me. After all, women like good looking guys, right?

All I'd have to do is look around, and count the times every time I saw some fat old ugly guy with a really attractive chick. But even THEN, I'd believe that was a special case and I'm doomed to suffer from a life of loneliness.

Once I got into the PUA game, I started to realize than women process attraction in different ways then men do. Most of the girls I've been with don't care about how a man looks (thank God for that, lol). I was talking to an ex girlfriend the other day who recently got engaged, and her husband to be is something like 320 lbs. But guess what? He's smarter than her! And that's why she's into him.

The entire time I was with her, I was miserable because I kept thinking she was going to leave me for a thinner, better looking guy. It was my bad attitude that eventually lead to the break up. D'oh!

It was my BELIEF that I had to look a certain way to get women that would really handicap me. I had so many opportunities where a woman was actually INTO me, where she would have slept with me, but my belief system would say things like:

"She's not really into you. Pay no attention."
"There's something wrong with her if she likes an ugly guy like you."
"It's a trick! She's leading you on only to hurt you!"

The fact was I was just a cool guy these girls dug - but I couldn't see it.

Ever since I started really focusing in on the root causes of my problems - my bad belief system - and have addressed it, things have really picked up. I feel better about myself, and so do the people around me.

6. Do you have a favorite routine/step in your model, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes?

My favorite step is where I can foret all the routines and tactics and just be me.

I'm a lazy dude, and I hate memorizing stuff. So I enjoy it when I can just relate to a woman on a personal level without having to run game on her.

At some point, you HAVE to run game because you need a strategy to get her into bed or keep some other dude from stealing her, or whatever. But for the most part, I enjoy just talking normally without all the BS.

I tend to use an opener when I meet a woman, then search for a commonality to connect on, and try to engage her in conversation before pushing for an "insta-date" or a phone number. That's pretty much my model. It might not be as effective as something like Mystery Method, but it's easier for me to pull off.

7. Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization?

No, 'cause I don't feel I'm there yet! lol.

It's funny because I've come so far from the guy who whacked off to Three's Company so many years ago. I definitely don't consider myself an AFC anymore, and even though I can go out and pick up women, I don't feel like a pick up artist.

I still feel I have so much to learn. I'll probably always feel that way. I'll always feel I need to keep improving and doing better.

I think people who say "Okay, I've reached master level! I don't have to do any more work!" are stupid. People like Mystery, who will not be shy about saying he's the greatest PUA to ever walk the Earth, still tries to do new things and learn from others, which is probably why he's still at the top of the game.

This notion that there are "Ranks" in PUA-dom always makes me laugh. I get emails from guys saying things like "I've decided I'm going to become an mPUA!" Like once that happens you get a metal pinned on your chest telling everyone you're a master or something.

It's such bullshit.

I've been around some of the greats - guys who are considered Pick Up Gods - and seen women tell them to "fuck off," or slap them, or get drinks spilled on them.

And these are the MASTERS!

The fact is, you can't ever qualify success as a Pick-Up artist, because there are too many variables.

Mystery has this "5-for-5" concept which is supposed to determine mastery in the venusian arts, but I completely disagree with it. He thinks if you can approach 5 women and make all five your girlfriend (five successes from five approaches) that means you're a master.

But here's my thing...

Being happy is more important than being a "Master."

Let's say all I want is a fat chick. Maybe that's my thing, where I say "I'm into fat girls!" and I can go out and pick up any fat chick I want. I could walk around and say "I'm a master pick up artist!" But anyone who saw the women I'm with would say I'm full of shit, because fat chicks aren't hot to anyone who doesn't have a fetish.

But if I really LIKE fat chicks, and I'm happy to get them, why shouldn't I be considered a master?

See the quagmire there?

Every man has his own idea of what a "Master" pick up artist should be. But to me, I don't even WANT to be a master. I just want to find 1 girl to settle down with and grow old with. That's my thing. I want a girl who I find attractive and fun to be with.

Some guys want to have 3 bisexual women all the time. Some want supermodels. And everyone has their own definition of what kind of woman is "beautiful."

That's why I hate this ranking stuff. I'll never rag on another man because I don't think his girl is hot. There was a time when people were making fun of Ross Jeffries because he was dating some old fat chick. I don't care what she looks like, because if he likes her, who am I to judge? I didn't even know he could actually get a woman, so I guess that impressed me more than what she looked like, lol.

8. What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

Meet up with other guys who do this stuff, befriend them, and help each other to learn.

There's so much crappy stuff out there, technique wise, that once you meet up with other guys you'll learn what to use and what to avoid.

You'll also have people to keep you motivated, and you'll have people you can speak with about problems and issues, which is vital to success.

Just having guys you can talk about this stuff with can be really liberating, because you may be too embarrassed to discuss it with your current friends.

9. What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve it?

My belief is that inner game is THE single most important factor to success.

But it's also the hardest to improve.

Everyone has different levels of inner game. Some guys need more help than others.

I think when it comes to fixing inner game, it's a three step process:

1. Identify your bad beliefs
2. Be willing to change, even if you have to do stupid or embarrassing stuff to do so.
3. Have the willpower to see it through to the end.

If you can do those three things, you can fix any problem you have.

10. Do you have a personal favorite field report (your own) that you could relay?

I don't do too many field reports, because I tend to write really detailed stuff and it takes me forever to do them. Plus, most of the time I'm out with really high profile PUAs, and they all have girlfriends who keep tabs on them through the internet, so I have to be careful about what I write not to get my friends in trouble, heh, heh, heh.

I have some great stories I'd love to share, but won't, simply because I don't want to write them out. But there are a lot of field reports I did from a few years back, when I was really hitting the club scene here in Hollywood hard. I'll point to on my blog. You can find it here:

http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/field_report/index.html

11. What is your current sticking point (if any)?

I think I already answered that, lol. But if you want a sticking point more related to the community, I'd have to say that it's dealing with all the negativity out there.

There are so many guys out there with so much anger and frustration, I think they take it out on me and others in the community because it's easier to blame us "gurus" than it is to own their failures and try to improve.

I try to ignore most of it and focus on positive aspects of my life, like meeting women, being with friends, advancing my career, etc.

12. What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

Wow, where to start.

In life, my goal is to make a good living, find a good woman, and raise a good family. That's all I want and could ask for.

In the community, my goals are a little more nefarious.

Selfishly, I love having a popular blog because I get to meet some of the most interesting people on the planet. I've met so many PUAs who are amazing, weird, evil, or fascinating just through that, and I learn so much from them all.

I get to see what people think of me and others. I get to shed light on topics I find interesting or important.

I really want to learn more techniques and advice, and meet more people this year. A lot of the old school guys have some good stuff, but it's with the newer PUAs we're going to see the best technology spring from.

I also want to encourage more seduction blogging. When I started, I think there were 1 or 2 other PUAs blogging about their experiences. But then I came along and my blog got real popular, and it inspired other people to start their blogs, which is great. The more the merrier! I think blogs are great tools to help you focus your thoughts and learn about this stuff (plus, you get feedback).

I also want to shed more light on some of the shady business practices going on in the community. I know I get a lot of flack for being "negative" or whatever, but to me, when I hear about some poor guy getting ripped off, I think back to where I was when I first started and how that would have affected me.

At that point I say: What's more negative? Allowing good guys to continue to be hurt and misled? Or shedding some light on what's going on and try to help others find the right system for them?

Because of me, Ross Jeffries was called to the mat on a lot of his B.S. He runs his list like a dictator, telling people they aren't allowed to read stuff that isn't Speed Seduction related. You can't even post a technique on there that isn't about SS, even if it would be helpful (and most of his stuff isn't). The best thing I ever did for myself was get out of Speed Seduction and learn new methods of pick up and seduction. You can't improve in a closed system, but Ross's greed overpowers his willingness to help his students. He'd rather them buy from him than help them get what they need. He also is really insecure about competition because he knows his stuff is no where near as good as other people's, like Mystery's. The best Speed Seduction students all left for better methods for God's sake! But he still keeps on trucking...

I see the same mentality in Real Social Dynamics. It's a real shame, because I actually really liked those guys. Like Ross, they have the ability to suck people into a cult-like atmosphere where everyone is "competition" and if you're not with them, you're against them. That's a negative mindset and it doesn't help people and hurts them in the long run.

But because of my blog, they now offer a Money Back Guarantee! Something they NEVER offered before. It's still not a very good guarantee, but at least I got them to change their practices a little.

A lot of these guys think I'm "out to get them" or looking to "destroy their businesses." I could care less about that. I have no desire to destroy someone's livelihood. But if that livelihood is made by hurting guys who are trying to improve their lives and ripping them off, you bet your ass I'm going to take them to task over it!

To me, this community is about helping other guys. That's what it's always been about. You can still help guys by charging for services and information I have no problem with that. It's when you choose to hurt others to make a quick buck, or for the sake of your ego, that I have a problem with.

So I just want to keep on helping guys in this community as best I can. =)

Other Seduction Masters Interviews:

• Introducing the Seduction Masters Interviews
• Stephen Nash (Playboy)
• Herbal
• Sean
• Neil Strauss

Mystery Method (5): Comfort

UPDATE! Do you want to get Mystery to teach you every step of the way? Check out hisDVD Home Course.

LEARN THE MYSTERY METHOD

ATTRACT 1:
Opening

ATTRACT 2:
Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")

ATTRACT 3:
Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")

COMFORT 1:
Connection

COMFORT 2:
Trust

COMFORT 3:
Intimacy

SEDUCTION 1:
Arousal

SEDUCTION 2:
Last-minute Resistance

SEDUCTION 3:
Sex

If you remember from OAP 4, you enter the Comfort phases once she is attracted to you (A2) and you have convinced her that you are interested in her for reasons she thinks are valid (A3).

In other words:
You enter Comfort as soon as you both accept that you are attracted to each other.
You leave Comfort (and go into Seduction) as soon as you escalate to sexual touching.

Comfort is the missing ingredient that allows you to convert mutual attraction into sex. Comfort changes her from "I want him but I don't know him well enough" into "I want him".

Sounds easy, doesn't it? By itself, it is. Most men can make a woman feel comfortable with them if they're not trying to have sex. (Sex comes in the Seduction phase, so don't worry about sex for anything in the Comfort phases). However, you have three things working against you:

1. You never know how much comfort is enough. Not enough comfort before you shift into Seduction, and you're a horny loser. Too much comfort before you make a move, and you're a pussy. This used to be a big trap for guys, but Mystery has a secret here, that we'll share with you in a minute.
   
2. You can't focus only on comfort. If you spend all of your effort making her feel so comfortable and safe around you, and none maintaining the tension and intrigue that you created in the Attraction phases, then she'll get bored and you'll lose her. On the other hand, rocking the tension too high in comfort will feel awkward and out place, and also destroy any comfort you've built up.
   
3. You have to escalate kino (touching). This is important preparation for Seduction. In the Seduction phases, you will obviously need to be touching her in an increasingly sexual way. Maybe you figure that that's Seduction, and you don't have to worry about it while in Comfort, right? Wrong. It's hard enough in Seduction to shift from non-sexual touching to sexual touching. It's infinitely harder in Seduction to shift from no touching at all to sexual touching. You're setting yourself up for failure in Seduction if you don't do the groundwork in Comfort.
   

So, how do we build comfort and defeat these obstacles?

Calibrate Timing with Mystery's 7-hour rule: This is the secret we promised you that destroys the #1 obstacle in the last section. One of Mystery's major breakthroughs is in learning that there is a 4-10 window during which a sexual relationship can begin. This means that, on a cold approach (where it's someone you meet at a coffee shop as opposed to your sister's best friend), you generally need between 4 and 10 hours of interacting with her before sex can occur. This can be over multiple days (you spend an hour with her when you first meet her, and then at least three hours with her the next day . . . that may be enough). But don't lose sight of the clock. Before 4 hours, she likely won't be "ready" and you'll run into insurmountable last-minute resistance in Seduction. After 10 hours, and it will feel awkward and creepy to her, since you didn't have the balls to make a move when you had the chance, and, anyway, by now she's gotten so used to your non-sexual presence that all of the attraction/sexual tension has dissipated. The 4-10 principle (average around 7) is crucial -- though there are exceptions, you'll be amazed at how often it applies.

You get points for just being there: You build comfort with a woman by being in situations with her where you could theoretically try to escalate sexually with her, but don't. If she can sit on your couch without you being all over her, that will build comfort. If you can grind with her on the dance floor without grabbing her ass, that builds comfort. Until you get to 4-10 hours of course!

Speed things up with multiple venues: Boy takes "Girl A" to the park. They have a picnic and hang out 6 hours. Boy takes "Girl B" window shopping, then they grab a bite, then they go to bookstore, then they have a drink, all over a 6 hour period. Which girl is more likely to be "ready"? Girl B. She has seen herself in more situations with the guy, and therefore feels she knows him better.

Make YOURSELF her source of comfort: Imagine that a girl invites you to a party. It turns out that she knows everyone and you know no one. She leaves for a few minutes. You awkwardly meet her friends and try to make a good impression, but it's still stressful, not knowing anyone. Then she comes back, and you're relieved. Then she goes and you're uncomfortable. Etc., etc. If you've been following along, you can see how useful this is in reverse. Bring her to places where you are the center of attention. Make her work to win your attention. By working to win your attention, by being happier when you're around then when you're not, by trying to make a good impression on your friends, she will be following behavior patterns that she is used to following when she is interested in someone. Making her follow them with you solidifies her attraction to you while building comfort.

Be genuinely interested in her. Remember, she won you over in A3: Qualification. You don't need to be so dismissive anymore. Now that you're in Comfort, it is expected, normal, and attractive for you to ask her personal questions about herself. On the other hand . . .
Don't stop being a challenge. Keep the romantic/sexual tension going during the comfort phase. At appropriate times, you should still tease her, disagree with her, etc. Once there is no tension, the interaction becomes boring for a girl.

The comfort game requires a lot of subtly and mental dexterity. There's a lot we couldn't put in here (most important: 1) the effect of the three different phases of Comfort; 2) How to escalate kino, which is really tricky . . . we needed to put over 15 minutes of kino escalation tactics on disk 3 of the Mystery Method DVD set). But this will get you started.

Remember -- do the math. Comfort takes about 6 hours (with a half-hour for Attraction and a half-hour for Seduction). That's a long time. Slow it down. The high-energy flair in Attraction isn't really useful here. To some extent, Comfort is where you "be yourself" -- or at least, be who you want to be -- and let her learn about you, while you do the same with her.

If this isn't easy, don't worry. Like the other phases, it needs practice and intuition.

For complete coverage of everything the Mystery Method can offer, download the Magic Bullets ebook.

Killer Techniques To Overcome Anxiety When Approaching Women

I loved Cedar's post on Mystery's forum about approach anxiety and dealing with it properly. If some of these terms seem foreign to you, read Mystery's e-book for a heads up.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a defense mechanism. It exists to protect you from abnormal behaviour. Consider a high steel worker. These guys stand on two foot wide beams hundreds of feet off the ground. They're strapped in, but their body doesn't understand that. The first few weeks are hell.

After that, it's no big deal. Heights don't bother them. Their body has accepted heights as a feature of the environment. It's normal to THAT person. Buddy of mine worked high steel a decade ago. Said the heights were nothing to him at the time.

But he's afraid of heights now. Because HIS ENVIRONMENT CHANGED. He doesn't work high steel. He's not SURROUNDED by his anxiety any more. To him, heights are ABNORMAL now, when they were NORMAL a decade ago.

Approach anxiety is a collection of anxieties. Fear of talking to strangers. Fear of interrupting people. Fear of running out of things to say. Fear of looking dumb (social pressure). And fear of success (a personal favorite).

Talking to Strangers

Talking to strangers is the most common. In our hunter/gatherer days, this kind of behaviour could get you killed. We don't live in a tribal society any more, but our bodies doesn't understand that. Our biological programming is from the olden days.

If you do not talk to new people EVERY DAY, how do you expect to sarge at the bar? You're body will fight you. It will protect you. Unless you acclimate it.

I picked up a pamphlet on breaking habits on the trip to Vegas. It takes 21 days to form or break a habit. If that's true (and it sounds about right), it takes three weeks to overcome approach anxiety. By talking to strangers EVERYWHERE.

That means on the bus, at the gas station, line at the coffee shop, airplanes, work, restaurants, etc. Talk to a new person EVERY DAY. Use a stock opener on them. Like maury povich or dental floss.

Understand that if you STOP being a social creature for any length of time, approach anxiety WILL RETURN.

If lunch-time street approaches are an option, take a walk on your lunch break and open 3 sets. Open and eject if you're not up to stacking material. This will make bar sarges WAY easier. It'll slowly remove the anxiety of talking to strangers.

Fear of Interrupting People

Personal Skeleton. We are raised from birth to be polite. To be considerate of other's feelings, opinion and pasttimes. We are a sensitive society. We're also a wussy society. The alpha man DOES take others into consideration. But he doesn't hesitate to give people the gift of his or her reality.

Why are you worried about interrupting people? Switch places with your target. If you were talking to friends and a supermodel in lingerie interrupted you, would you be pissed? Fuck no. I don't care if I was about to solve world piece.

Women are ALWAYS receptive to their knight in shining armour. Walk in, be the cool guy, and don't care about their conversation. Hell, tease them about it. After you reach the hook point apologize for interrupting and offer to leave. They'll drag you back.

These people lead boring lives. They wake up in their boring bed, they drive to a boring job in their boring car and they hang with their boring friends and talk about how bored they are.

You're not interrupting ANYTHING IMPORTANT. Not at a bar, not on the bus and not in the casino. It's your reality. Everyone else is along for the ride.

Fear Of Running Out Of Things To Say

I hear a lot of people saying 'I hate routines, I just want to talk normal.' Here's the thing. You're not getting laid. Why would you talk normal. Use the damn routines until 'normal' to you is 'attractive' to women.

Routines are normal conversation from someone else. Someone good with women. You're wearing the skin of successful PUAs until you develop your own.

This is why MM focuses on routines. Memorize stock routines from the MM forum, the lounge and bristol lair. After your newbie mission, rotate in personal DHV stories and field test them. You'll have dozens of things to say.

And don't worry about forgetting what to say. It continues to amaze me how, out of nowhere, a routine I haven't used in six months drops into my head in set. Listen to your instincts on this one. If you're in set and a routine comes to mind, USE IT.

Fear Of Looking Dumb

Tylder Durden refers to this phenomenon as social pressure. Women are more sensitive to this than guys are. Your body is protecting you from being outside of the norm. Being normal and boring is SAFE. Being Alpha is DANGEROUS. You are CONSTANTLY being fucked with. You are CONSTANTLY proving yourself by reacting to shit tests, amogs, cock blocks, etc.

How do you deal with it? If you're comfortable in your own skin, then you have nothing to fear. So what if your top hat looks funny. You like it. You don't care if anyone else does. Your mindset is apathy. It's your reality.

Hell, you're trying to figure out why everyone's wearing polo shirts and khakis. Looks ridiculous. Far as you're concerned, they should ALL be wearing top hats. 'Cause then you can wear khakis and stand out.

Fear Of Success

Another personal skeleton. I'm a busy guy. So's my wife. She works part time on weekends and evenings. My son has a martial arts class a few nights a week. If I hit the bar this Thursday and timebridge a girl, I don't have much of a window in which to see her.

I'm close to closing an LTR for me and the wife. She'll take a chunk of our time. What if I find a second one at the bar? When will I have time for a Day 2 or for anything more long term? Where will I find time for all these girls?

Easy. DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. What a lame fucking excuese NOT to approach. I won't talk to a girl because there's a 1% chance she might become my girlfriend? Focus on the process.

You don't have to timebridge the girl. And even if she's your thing, there's a good chance you'll fuck it up. I've met hundreds of women. And a dozen of those were completely my type. Totally compatible.

Am I upset I couldn't close them? A little. But I keep finding more. 2000 women turn 21 (or any other age) EVERY DAY in this country. Don't worry about fucking it up with one girl. Focus on learning from that girl so you don't fuck up the next one.

This kind of anxiety is all about outcome dependance. Don't worry about where the sarge goes. Worry about how well you sarge. Doesn't matter if you get a bullseye on the shooting range once in a while. Make it happen EVERY time.

Experience

The best answer I have to Approach Anxiety is to remember all the fun times you had after you ignored it. After a few good sets, you'll think back to your favorite right before you open your first set of the night. And bam, with good memories comes good energy.

Example. I don't AMOG. Not my style. But my wing pointed out this AFC leaning in on a two set. Girls were turning away. It was over. And then I noticed an empty space between the AFC and one of the girls.

I took it.

And talked to the guy. Girls were never more cofused in their life. Chatted up the guy who wasn't sure what I was doing but knew he shouldn't freak out.

Then I turned and used the patented Cedar opener on the girls. 'Hey.' With a head nod. Her reply? 'espanol?' I about died. I AMOGed a spanish speaking set. I was cracking up. Got a thumb wrestle out of the target, which got her laughing. I coached the guy what he did wrong and watched him number close her two minutes later.

I'm smiling just thinking about it. And damn straight I'm gonna try and take another set this week. That was too much friggin fun not to do again.

Same thing with approaches. You have some good sarges and the approach anxiety gets less and less of a barrier. You'll have too many positive memories and emotions tied up with sarging. No way approach anxiety will hold you back.

Avoidance

If you don't get over approach anxiety, you'll never overcome A1. Without A1, you can't reach A2. Or C1. Or S-anything, right?

There's ways around A1. Winging, approach invitation and hot game for examples. These techniques aren't solid game. They're flukes. They work, but they hinder your game. You become reliant on a tactic that opens maybe 3 sets in the bar. You can't open the entire room. Don't use these to circumvent your approach anxiety.

There might be some validity to using these in an attempt to develop good feelings in sets, but you become dependant on these techniques VERY quickly. Don't fall into that trap. Make your own reality. Conquer this fear and open some fucking sets.

Party on. And happy hunting.