Stephen Nash (Seduction Masters Interview)

Stephen Nash is a co-founder of Cutting-Edge Image Consulting, based in New York City. He is 33 years old, and has been researching the nature of relationships for over three years. He was an original member of the now infamous "Project Hollywood" in Los Angeles, and is featured in Neil Strauss' "The Game" as Playboy. CEIC currently operates two websites:

How To Get A Girlfriend (Link)

Also, Nash has recently launched his own blog, located at the above website.

1. Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life."

This one is easy Donovan. A few years ago, a beautiful young girl that I was dating broke up with me. It really crumbled me, and forced to take stock of myself, and women, in a different way than I had before. I realized that she had chosen me, and that because I had so few (if any) options, I HAD to accept her. Biology is a powerful thing - she was both beautiful and young, very vivacious and outgoing - a great personality for me. So, the body (biology) responded to her very powerfully, as the opportunity to be sexually involved and perhaps eventually reproduce is often MUCH more powerful than what the mind might think is "right" or "wrong".

Following the break-up though, I realized that I had slowly compromised what I REALLY wanted so that it matched who she was. Because my dating and sexual life had been so underdeveloped, I compromised TOO much, and eventually left myself in the classic AFC pose - I had a girlfriend whom I didn't truly feel a connection with, but whom also provided a sexual outlet to a starved plug... thus, I was willing to accept the wrong person for me. This is too often the case for men (and women) in our culture, so I set out to resolve this.

I scanned the internet and was totally surprised to see that there were plenty of dealers out there willing to teach me how to meet women. And, I was a willing customer. I purchased first a product which was a decent overview, but low on tactical information. Next, I learned every tactic known to man in scanning various web boards, and in taking a live workshop with a tactic-heavy teaching system. I learned a lot from all of these experiences. I was eventually invited to join the effort now known as "Project Hollywood" in Los Angeles. I agreed to move-in, and manage the events/party promotion element.

Living with Mystery, Style, Herbal et al was an amazing experience. I learned perhaps too much, and certainly observed more than I ever needed to. However, in the end I was grateful for the experience of seeing and learning from the best pick-up artists in the world. At one point, I was "ranked" number 4 in the world by a prior interviewee, Thundercat.

It became obvious at a certain point that I had had enough of LA, and moved back to NYC. I decided that I'd like to pass on what I had learned, but with a healthier slant to it. I'm not sure that being a PUA (pick-up artist) is necessarily a great idea for everyone (for some, it might be).

My philosophies and work are basically gleaned both from my experience, as well as my observations and endless research and interviews of others who are highly successful with women and relationships. I feel that meeting women should be an extension of one's lifestyle. If a guy has to create an entirely new habit and area of his life, he is going about this in entirely the wrong way. The pick-up community is useful insofar as it adds to my life, and teaches me ways to overcome some social shortcomings. What I see too often though are guys who stop their lives and become PUAs... and it's to their detriment.

The CEIC philosophy is to help men understand what is attractive, and what assists in cultivating healthy relationships with all people - and, of course, with women. We feel that we help the men who are interested in having a girlfriend, and the hopeful healthy relationship. OK - enough of the soapbox-talk.

2. Have you had any mentors (perhaps well-known pickup artists) within the community/life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you?

Here are some who REALLY helped:
1) Style
2) Mystery
3) Tyler Durden
4) Pasha
5) Natural Rob

Style - How to lead without being an ass. He's terrific at handling a large group, and in allowing everyone to feel appreciated and involved. He'd always handle the house meetings, and the arduous battle between Mystery & Herbal. He did a noble job.

Mystery - Really too much to describe here, but he's the best in the business. An incredibly scientific and brilliant mind. If your goal is to be a pick-up artist, you should take his program. I think the greatest offering of his is the Mystery Method Model (not sure of its precise brand name) - but he's decoded an actual structure to a seduction. NO ONE else has done this. This contribution is huge - without question the greatest discovery in the community's history. Why? Well, he's right - so that's one reason, and two - it made something so hidden suddenly teachable. My hat remains off to him...

Tyler Durden - TD is one of the more maligned figures in the community. I'll not comment on those elements now or ever. However, he and I were wings for a period of time, and his continual help to me is not forgotten. I admire his need for challenge, and his extraordinarily astute mind. He thinks faster than anyone on earth. His style, as I last remember, is a very tactical one (this could have changed) - and it is really suited to his swift brain. He is very supportive of his team, and students, and I found him to be a great resource.

Pasha - Pasha is not of the community, but has a harem of women here in NYC (yes - a modern-day harem) while also teaching dominance. Like Style he is extremely friendly and warm. Pasha is easily the most genuinely kind, yet dominant male, I've ever met. Proves that being "nice" is very important, but while being dominant. Guys get confused about this, and become assholes to women hoping to get laid…doesn't work. What they want is to feel your autonomy, your integrity - your SPINE. If you can't do this while also being generous and kind, you're missing the boat my friend.

Natural Rob - One of my best friends forever... he's married now, with a child and lives in Jersey. He has easily the fiercest demeanor I've ever witnessed. The first thought that crosses a guy's mind when they meet him is, "oh shit, this guy is going to break me in half". He's a former boxer, so that contributes to it. However, he has an amazing blend of masculine/feminine energies - which has helped him be extremely successful with women.

3. Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it's promised results, and how you felt?

Boy, you're asking me to think back a long ways here Donovan. I think it's common for men with an AFC brain to be shocked at some of the more challenge-based routines - like where you ask her where she sees herself in 5 years, or you ask her to illicit important personal values in a club, the Cube also comes to mind. The AFC is so accustomed to simply doing what she wants, rather than leading her. Leadership, as an attribute to build integrity and attractiveness, was definitely counter-intuitive for awhile. A woman I was dating for a while a number of years ago cleared it all up for me. I basically told her to meet me at such-and-such corner at 8pm, be dressed casually, and be ready for an adventure. About half-way thru the evening she said, "God, what a relief, a guy who will take charge!"

4. Could you descibe what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and/or what options you have with women now?

My life before was "take what I can get". I had no idea how to first understand dating and relationships, much less the incredibly important masculine/feminine. There's "the game" mentality, which is akin to watching the surface of the water from a helicopter and more-or-less commenting on the reflections of light etc. Then there is the actual dating scene, which leads (we hope) to relationships - this would be sort of like getting into the water, and riding waves into the shore. Ultimately though, the highest level is in understanding the nature of the masculine/feminine energy polarities in relationships. This requires a tremendous discipline, which I am cultivating currently. It feels now like I am totally submerged in the water…and that HAS to be the idea, if you're interested in authenticity and health. Now? I have many options, and then, I have few. In truth, I have lots of women in my life, that a former self would have totally dated. But, I am so selective now because I really understand what it is that I want. So, in this sense, the field narrows. I've been seeing someone now for a while, so my interest is more in developing that. But I can always feel when the vibe is "on".

5. What was your hardest/biggest sticking point?

This one is easy - the concept of value. I see this usually happening in five stages:
AFC Cocky AFC (using DYD, RSD, Mystery routines etc.) PUA (hopefully using his own material) Socially Skilled (no material needed) Mastery Value is mimicked in the early stages (up to PUA level). So, you basically pretend you're a good guy with an interesting life. What usually happens is that guys sicken of "the game" and abandon all the BS, and sink themselves into real living instead. This is the only thing that actually builds value - REAL experience. Value can be understood somewhat by using routines such as DHVs, but this is pure mimicry and doesn't last at all. The real building takes time and effort, it can't under any circumstances be mimicked. It has to be paid for…this is the real challenge. It is ultimately a masculine challenge, and not many are up to it. The CEIC work is a direct attempt to help with all stages, not just the first two.

6. Do you have a favorite routine/step in your model, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes?

I don't teach routines really, unless the client is a beginner (that's the only time you need them). The work I do focuses more on giving guys social skills, which are applicable to all aspects of life. The one I feel is most helpful and empowering is a skill I call "baiting". This is where the man layers his conversation with details about himself. When done a certain way, it prompts the woman to ask questions of him, giving him the power in the interaction. Again, this has to be done a certain way, which is something I pass on in person, but when done correctly, this always builds curiosity and fascination. It also works in networking/interviewing/socializing etc. It is a social skill, which by definition means that it works in all social situations. I don't believe that relating to women should require you to step outside of your life and create an entirely different personality, much less scripts of things to say...

7. Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization?

I guess there are different levels to everything, but the only one that really interests me is the human scale (so to speak). Unless it now helps me across the board, I tend to not be interested. I feel that now I can authentically present myself to anyone/anytime. I also find that, by virtue of experience, I screen out a LOT of women. Prior to my current girlfriend, I had quite a lot of options. As you relate to women more and more, the criteria for what you seek in a relationship tends to specify - and therefore, the field narrows. What is nice is to feel that I am completely on the other side of the "chooser" equation - no longer will/can I be with someone that doesn't have a lot going for them.

8. What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

It really depends on the guy. But, here are a few basic tips:

1) Get some good pics and throw an internet profile on nerve.com (it's the best IMO). This way, you get a lot of experience interacting with women. It's a good way to begin to train your chemicals to be around the women you want to be around…this is particularly helpful if you haven't been on a date in a while. (Learn more about my experiences meeting women online)

2) Be social with everyone. The idea here is to cultivate social skills. So, when you are in any line, for example, force yourself to chat with the people in front of, or behind you. Talk to as many people per day as possible by breaking out of your comfort zone - by interacting, we learn... this is really the only way.

3) Approach women. I always tell guys that, even if you don't want to "pick-up" girl, and prefer meeting them via social circle, it still pays to approach and learn. Here's the line I give - which usually works: "I noticed you from across the (bar, lounge, cafe etc) and had to risk making a total fool of myself to meet you. My name is ___" Nice and simple, direct and confident - a very solid combo. The rest can be taught, but there is a price to pay by the student, and it involves the ego and our own internal self-image. Are you willing to pay the price for this education? It's not easy…I promise anyone who works with me though that if they are willing to pay the REAL price, I will go the ends of the earth to help. That amount of willingness is rare.

9. What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve it?

Well, if the inner life is approached as a "game", we are certain to lose. There are many forces at play that determine the states, feelings and thoughts that we experience on an hourly basis. The healthy approach is to observe, and learn over time that most of what we tell ourselves is a lie. Then, the idea is to create a little space between me and these beliefs. How nice would it be to wave a magic wand to create the states that I want. The problem is, life isn't necessarily about getting what we want, usually because we have no real connection with what we want. Thus, we bounce around from drama to chaos and back again. The real idea is to love everything I find in me…pretty hard to do…but once I can do that, I have a real chance to love another.

I do believe that the CEIC product line helps men make real progress in both working with himself internally, while also making vast improvements to his outside life. The BEST way to work on myself is in both directions. Most men lack self-esteem, and the best way to cultivate that is via ones lifestyle choices, along with specific inner work. We cover that in detail, as it is so effective, if done accurately.

I deal with this in my ebook "How To Get A Girlfriend" and even more in our audio program "Natural Attraction". It's a shameless plug for sure, but if you want to understand the true nature of attraction, plus get countless tips on dating, fashion, style, all kinds of exercises to help build social skills and a step-by-step guide on how to build your lifestyle to attract the women that are RIGHT for you, you should pick them both up asap. OK - shameless plug completed. (thank you)

10. Do you have a personal favorite field report (your own) that you could relay?

Sure, the one from years ago when TD and I pulled two girls from The Saddle Ranch in Los Angeles back to Project Hollywood. This was done under the pressure from a paying student, and a reporter from Rolling Stone magazine. We did accomplish the mission, with a duel at Mel's Drive-In with a certain Andre 3000 in a Spurs B-ball jersey. Looking back on it, it was totally fun. I think the full reprise is on a webboard out there somewhere. Very wild tale... full of sound and fury, and certainly told by...

11. What is your current sticking point (if any)?

In truth, it's about finding the women I really want to be with. It is EASY to find "hot" women. That is no longer an issue at all. What is harder I find (particularly in NYC) is finding women that have what you're looking for internally. Finding women based on looks is so much easier than finding the "person" you want to be with. The skill is in understanding how to relate to women so that you can quickly garner who it is you are dealing with. I have a very good strategy for this that I pass on to my guys, but there is still so much left to chance. Patience is the underrated virtue in this "game". Fortunately for me, there is no real problem now as I'm involved. But I know for others it's a real challenge.

12. What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

Continue working with men, and researching the nature of masculine/feminine intimacy - and to understand how further help men empower themselves while BEING themselves at the same time. Nothing is less helpful than work which leads a man away from himself. The real endeavor for us all is to know how to help lead and encourage a greater self-relationship. This is the only thing which leads to anything real on the outside and with others.

Thanks Stephen!

I will be posting more of Stephen's advice on this blog in the upcoming weeks, stay tuned for that! I think you'll agree with me that is advice is truly unique and very practical.

Other Seduction Masters Interviews:

• Introducing the Seduction Masters Interviews
• Herbal
• Thundercat
• Sean
• Neil Strauss

Neil Strauss on Dutch TV

I've got finals now, so this will have to suffice till Friday. =)

Day Game Bootcamp

Grungey10, my mate from Orange County has been running Day Game Bootcamp's down in that area.

I've talked to him, and he knows his stuff.

Bigsend recently took a bootcamp with him, and you can read his review on his page here.

If you want more information on Grungey10 and his Day Game Bootcamp's go to his site, at http://www.captivatetoconnect.com/

Advanced A3 Qualification Tips

One part of the Mystery Method that helps to prevent flakes, especially if you're concentrating on day game, is A3. It's the Male to Female Attract section. (If this sounds like another language... visit the links below for more information)

This stage comes about 15-minutes into the interaction. By doing two or three qualifications, in interesting ways, it will help reduce the amount of flakes that you may have for Day2's.

Taken from Mystery's OAP, to view past editions of the Online Apprentice Program, go to our Table of Contents, under "Mystery Method". This is an advanced section of Issue 4.

I have to admit, writing a short "advanced section" for A3: Qualification is hard. This is the hardest phase of the whole game, and we spend by far the most time on this in our Magic Bullets ebook, DVDs, telephone consultations, and live programs. So, I'll give a few nuggets of "advanced" advice here, but realize that there's lots more to it than this. Future issues of the OAP will cover this material in greater depth.

So far, we focused mostly on the verbal portion of qualification. There is also a crucial non-verbal component. Your body language must match your explicit language. When you bait, you are neutral, even slightly dismissive. When you hook and reel, you give her your full attention and SHOW how interested you are. When you release, do it solidly, so she FEELS the change in the attention and validation she is getting.

The "bait" doesn't have to be a question. It's more natural and fluid (though harder to pull off) to bait her with a statement that she responds to. For example, instead of "what would you like to be, if you could do anything?", try "I really love home-cooked meals. Especially Italian." If she's into you (from A2: Attraction), she can "hook" by talking about the great lasagna she makes.

Don't confuse the Qualification Phase with real qualification. You still haven't known her for long enough (remember, we're about 15 minutes into an interaction here) to actually make decisions about her yet. This is all a game so far. In Comfort is where you decide whether you like each other. Right now you're just flirting.

Pickup Artist Feature Documentary

Mangus over at the Bristol Lair has talked about a Pickup Artist Documentary that is going to be made.

They're looking for candiates, newbies that have just read Neil Strauss's book 'The Game', or guys that are really new to the community.

"Think very carefully, your payment will be thousands of dollars worth of
first-class training but you have to be prepared to become "that guy from that
Pick-Up movie" for a while. You will need to be available for 8-10 weeks
between May and September for filming. All ages and nationalities are welcome
but you will need to be able to travel (at our expense) within the USA and
Europe."

If you are interested, drop him a line at magnus@ bristollair.com, Subject: Feature Documentary

If I'm not mistaken these guys sent me an email about two months ago, wondering how to contact the 'gurus' and others within the community. Good luck to them, it should be awesome.

Donovan

New Product Review: Surefire Attraction Secrets

Many readers have emailed me asking my opinion on Pickup 101, Lance Mason, and their line of products. Here's what I think about their audio series...

I received my copy of the new audio series from Pickup 101, featuring Lance Mason, about a month ago. I got the package quickly after ordering, and am fairly pleased with the appearance of the product. The 4 CD set has over 240 minutes of attraction building techniques.

CD 1: How To Start A Conversation

This CD goes over the elusive basics of starting conversations with complete strangers and groups. Lance talks about making your first impression last. He talks about techniques to use via body language and how that pretty much makes up the majority of the impression. He also talks about conversational starters called "chick bait". This helps you hook the conversation enabling you to be the center of attention, and helps you to attract.

CD 2: Storytelling

We know how powerful storytelling can be. We all know about the attraction they can generate. In this CD I learnt about HOW specifically to embed attractive traits and dramatically increase the power of the story. I found it interesting listening to their examples of stories, some funny, some just kinda wrong like the didlo flying out the window. (Classic). Anyways, this step-by-step instruction guide is a no fail way to finding those stories in your own life, and making them a magnet.

CD 3: Banter

Banter = flirting = cocky and funny = great techniques. I especially liked this segment. This is what really starts to move you into the "sexual prospect" part of the females mind. Banter is flirty behavior amplified through specific techniques. I love it. It amplifies attraction faster than being a guitarist for Motley Crue. Lance lays the concept out well, and Sean the instructor helps you to see how banter is an attraction mechanism.

CD 4: Secrets of Direct & Indirect Approach

Everyone is different. If you don't approach women that way you'll come of mega incongruent. In this you can find out about the two most effective methods of approaching women, how (and more importantly when) to use them, and which one is best for your specific personality. This CD helped me, atleast, determine which method of approaching was more suited to me.

Overall, this program is where you'll learn the most important pieces of the attraction puzzle in a step-by-step process in a condensed version. Surefire Attraction Secrets is packed with the most important attraction skills and methods that Lance teaches in his highly acclaimed Art of Attraction workshop.

Surefire Attraction Secrets is more valuable than alot of other stuff out there. It cuts through the fluff and gets to the point. It's defintely something new and a product that's worth buying. The CD's are formatted in a way that makes you feel as if you're listening in on a bunch of awesome PUAs talking about their game. Recommended.

Click here to be taken to the Attraction Secret's Homepage (enter email to be taken there).

Also:

Check out Pickup 101's live workshop schedule visit here.

Thundercat (Seduction Masters Interview)

Tell me about yourself!

Okay. My handle is "Thundercat," I'm 27 years old, living in beautiful sunny Hollywood California where the only thing hotter than the weather, are the women who live here.

Currently, I run my own business, and most of my time is spent selling my ebook and updating my blog, when I'm not out trying to have a life.

I've been in "the game" since 1998, when I was a sophomore in college. I've continued through it in varying degrees, but I didn't get hard core until I move out to Los Angeles and started meeting the Grand Master PUAs.

I have a few different websites, they are:

How to Meet Women (Link)
Better Sex (Link)
Bang Hot Strippers (Link)
The Mos Eisley Cantina (as I like to call it - Seduction Lair) (Link)

1. Describe the moment, when you suddenly realized, "I need to work out this part of my life."

Funny story...

So it was a Friday night back in 1998, and I was rooming with this guy who was a real "Jock." Good looking, parents had money, was in a frat, all that jazz. He was basically the kind of guy I'd come to hate, simply because he was everything I wasn't.

So one night, there I am, weighing in at close to 300 lbs, lonely and shy, with no plans for a date what-so-ever. And my Jock roomie comes walking in with two drop-dead hotties.

He just came by to pick up some stuff, but since he was a nice guy, he invited me to go to this frat party he and the girls were going to.

I took one look at the girls and chickened out. It was like the cold hand of death was gripping my stomache and I just couldn't imagine going out with them to a wild and crazy frat-bash.

So I declined, and they left. A few hours after that, I ordered some pizza, and tried to find something to watch on TV. The only thing half-way decent that was on was a rerun of "Three's Company."

At some point while watching this show, I seem to realize that Suzan Summers used to be wicked hot. Still thinking about the girls I decided not to go out and party with, I decide it's time to feel better by "mastering my domain," if you will.

So there I am, alone on a Friday, watching a Three's Company rerun, my dick in one hand, a slice of pizza in the other, and all of a sudden, the true patheticness of the situation hits me.

I had hit rock bottom.

At this point, I don't know what happens. I fly into a rage, throw the pizza against a wall, flip over my bed, and just start wrecking my room. Eventually I collapse and start crying.

When that happened, I basically said to myself: Okay, you got two choices here. Either kill yourself, or stop being so pathetic and get a girlfriend.

Needless to say, I chose the latter.

Once that decision was made, I turned to the only thing I had available to me: The internet!

The first thing I did was go to Yahoo and type in "How to not be a fat pathetic loser." But there was nothing there. Then I started thinking about what I needed to do to get a girl, and typed in "Seduction."

Low and behond, there was Ross Jeffries Speed Seduction site on the first page. He claimed you didn't need to be good looking, and that you could get any woman in bed just by using hypnotic language.

Well, I thought that sounded pretty darn good, so I ordered his course that night, and that was pretty much how I got into the community.

Inspiring, isn't it? =)

2. Have you had any mentors (perhaps well-known pickup artists) within the community/life that have helped you improve your game, and what did they teach you?

Oh, God yeah.

I honestly don't think you can ever achieve anything in life without mentors. And Pick-up is no exception.

The problem is, most men don't have great mentors when it comes to learning about women. Their dad is either absent or clueless, their friends are usually just as desperate and inexperienced as they are, and the women in their lives give them a lot of bad advice on what to do.

When I first started learning about seduction in college, I was in a vacuum. I was too ashamed to tell my friends what I was doing, so it was like my "dirty little secret."

The problem with doing that was the fact that I simply couldn't improve. I had no feedback or guidance, just some audio tapes and access to an online mailing list.

It wasn't until I moved out to Los Angeles and started my own lair that I really started to improve, and that was simply due to having other people who were learning this stuff to talk to and bounce ideas off of.

Since then, I've had the pleasure from learning from some of the best ladies men out there. I don't like to name drop, but here are a few of the people I can say I got a lot from:

Swinggcat
Style (Neil Strauss)
Mystery
Hypnotica
Steve P.
Masterclass
Zan
Craig
Playboy
Sickboy
Christopher
David DeAngelo
Craig
Twenty-Six
Maddash
Masterclass
Roadking
Cameron Teone
Dreamweaver
Rick H.

This list goes on. But the fact is I learn something from EVERYONE I meet in this community, even people you wouldn't consider gurus. Hell, I even learn from people like Ross Jeffries and Tyler Durden. I don't exactly admire those guys, but they've taught me a lot about what NOT to do, and that can be just as important as knowing what TO do.

But I'd have to say that out of everyone, Style (the most powerful of the Jedi) is someone I learned my biggest lesson from. He's the one who taught me how to break my fear of meeting women, and after that, my whole life changed.

Sometimes all it takes is one lesson learned to alter the path your life was taking.

3. Can you describe the first time you used a counter-intuitive routine that yielded it's promised results, and how you felt?

LOL

I'd go so far as to say that ALL routines are counter-intuitive. I mean, it just feels weird to do the stuff we're supposed to do, be it dressing like a color-blind crackhead or spouting off 30-odd memorized stories some other dude came up with.

But to answer your question, I'll have to go back to what I said about Style in the previous question.

I was at my first ever Mystery Method workshop. And here I was, a total loser with women by anyone's standards, and I was just taken in by the whole thing. But still, all the instructors were these fairly good looking dudes, and here I was a fat, awkward dude. I just couldn't relate! I was like "Yeah, this might work for you, but what about ugly fucks like me???"

So when Style showed up, here was this skinny, bald dude with a big nose who looked like a young Mr. Burns. But all the other instructors, and Mystery himself, couldn't stop talking about this guy's prowess, so I said to myself: "This is the guy I want to learn from!"

So when it came time for the in-field workshop, I was sure to follow Style. I basically stalked the guy and watched him work. He'd effortlessly walk up to chicks and pick them up. It was the equivalent of watching someone turn their head inside-out and start flying with invisible wings -- I just didn't think it was possible!

Eventually, I walked up to Style and said: "Hey man, I'm freaking out here."

"Why?" he responded.

"I'm too scared to talk to any women. I just don't think I can do this."

Now, there were a lot of approaches Style could have taken there. He could have told me to suck it up. He could have shrugged it off. Or he could have done demonstrations for me all night. But none of those would have helped me.

Instead, he took me away from the main group into a new club, just me and him. And he pointed at a group of two girls and a guy and said: "See that 3-set right there? I want you to walk up to them, use the Who Lies More opener, get their responses, and then come back to me."

"That's it?" I said.

"That's it," he responded.

So I went and did that, feeling like a complete tool. I was thinking "These girls are gonna see right through me. They're gonna laugh at me. I'm going to look like an ass."

So I walked up and said: "Hey guys, who do you think lies more, men or women?"

And the entire group just STARED at me. I was thinking "Ohhhh shit. Here it comes."

But suddenly, to my surprise, the girls started giving me answers. And they didn't just give me an answer, they started arguing over what the right answer was!

After I got their opinions, I went back to Style. I wa totally amazed that this "opener" had actually worked just like they said it would!

So Style kept sending me out to do the exact same thing to more groups. By the third time, I was hooked. I became an approach machine. The next night of the workshop, I ended up talking to 15 women (which was fifteen more than I'd met in the previous year since I moved to LA!).

4. Could you describe what you're life was like before you were aware of this, and/or what options you have with women now?

Well, my life was pretty average, I guess. It's hard for me to know what to compare it to other than the lives of people on TV.

My dad worked a lot, and I was the oldest of three brothers, so I didn't exactly have a lot of male role models. My brothers do pretty well with girls, but I think that's mostly because they saw what I was doing and said "I'm gonna do the opposite of that!" and it worked for them. Lol.

So most of my love/relationship advice came from my mom, who - bless her soul - gave me a lot of terrible ideas about how to attract women. You know, things like: Buy her flowers, be respectful, blah, blah, blah.

I went through high school with three girlfriends, but always felt really awkward around women because I didn't really understand them. I'd always want the girls I couldn't have (which lead to a lot of high school drama and rejection on my part), and I'd settle with the girls I could get (and that never made me very happy).

I kept thinking "If I could lose my virginity, everything would change. I'd know how to be a better man and get more chicks."

It wasn't until I was in college that this happened. I met this girl at a friend's party, and we had a great conversation. She was fairly cute (I'd rate here at a 7.5 in PUA jargon). Her family ran a mortuary, so we talked about dead people a lot, oddly enough. This was around the time I was learning all the "Speed Seduction" stuff, so I tried using all this hypnotic language with her, but she was so drunk it didn't even matter. We ended up hooking up that night, and I woke up the next morning thinking "Okay, so... am I a man now?"

But I honestly didn't feel any different than I did the night before. Still felt lost, still felt clueless.

As things turned out, the girl I slept with didn't even go to my college, she was in town visiting my friend, and ended up leaving. I tried to angle for a "second rendezvous," but nothing ever came of it. So I chalked that success up to: Right Time, Right Place, Right Amount Of Booze.

Since then, I've learned a lot about women and come a long way (at least I think so).

I don't really like to share my personal successes online because people can so easily rip into them. I've seen what happens when Mystery shows pictures of his girlfriends online, and you always have some douchebag going "She's an UG!" and calling him a fake, so it's not important to me to bring the girls I date into that sort of mess just to prove something to the flamers and trolls out there.

I've settled down since my hay-day of going out 5-6 nights a week. I tend to go out on the weekends, and the girls I see are more bred from my social circle than cold pick-ups now, though I still do those occasionally.

In terms of options, I just go after women I like. I don't try to narrow the field, because you never know when someone will surprise you, so I like to keep my options open.

5. What was your hardest/biggest sticking point?

Without a doubt, it's my belief system.

Beliefs are the single, hardest thing in the world to fix. If you believe in bad, negative, and just plain wrong things, you tend to feel that good, positive, and factual things are false.

This can cause HAVOC with your life.

For instance, I used to believe I had to look like Brad Pitt to get a woman attracted to me. After all, women like good looking guys, right?

All I'd have to do is look around, and count the times every time I saw some fat old ugly guy with a really attractive chick. But even THEN, I'd believe that was a special case and I'm doomed to suffer from a life of loneliness.

Once I got into the PUA game, I started to realize than women process attraction in different ways then men do. Most of the girls I've been with don't care about how a man looks (thank God for that, lol). I was talking to an ex girlfriend the other day who recently got engaged, and her husband to be is something like 320 lbs. But guess what? He's smarter than her! And that's why she's into him.

The entire time I was with her, I was miserable because I kept thinking she was going to leave me for a thinner, better looking guy. It was my bad attitude that eventually lead to the break up. D'oh!

It was my BELIEF that I had to look a certain way to get women that would really handicap me. I had so many opportunities where a woman was actually INTO me, where she would have slept with me, but my belief system would say things like:

"She's not really into you. Pay no attention."
"There's something wrong with her if she likes an ugly guy like you."
"It's a trick! She's leading you on only to hurt you!"

The fact was I was just a cool guy these girls dug - but I couldn't see it.

Ever since I started really focusing in on the root causes of my problems - my bad belief system - and have addressed it, things have really picked up. I feel better about myself, and so do the people around me.

6. Do you have a favorite routine/step in your model, can you describe it, and what it accomplishes?

My favorite step is where I can foret all the routines and tactics and just be me.

I'm a lazy dude, and I hate memorizing stuff. So I enjoy it when I can just relate to a woman on a personal level without having to run game on her.

At some point, you HAVE to run game because you need a strategy to get her into bed or keep some other dude from stealing her, or whatever. But for the most part, I enjoy just talking normally without all the BS.

I tend to use an opener when I meet a woman, then search for a commonality to connect on, and try to engage her in conversation before pushing for an "insta-date" or a phone number. That's pretty much my model. It might not be as effective as something like Mystery Method, but it's easier for me to pull off.

7. Have you had the experience yet, where you feel that you've reached a certain degree of mastery? Can you explain the time, and how you got the realization?

No, 'cause I don't feel I'm there yet! lol.

It's funny because I've come so far from the guy who whacked off to Three's Company so many years ago. I definitely don't consider myself an AFC anymore, and even though I can go out and pick up women, I don't feel like a pick up artist.

I still feel I have so much to learn. I'll probably always feel that way. I'll always feel I need to keep improving and doing better.

I think people who say "Okay, I've reached master level! I don't have to do any more work!" are stupid. People like Mystery, who will not be shy about saying he's the greatest PUA to ever walk the Earth, still tries to do new things and learn from others, which is probably why he's still at the top of the game.

This notion that there are "Ranks" in PUA-dom always makes me laugh. I get emails from guys saying things like "I've decided I'm going to become an mPUA!" Like once that happens you get a metal pinned on your chest telling everyone you're a master or something.

It's such bullshit.

I've been around some of the greats - guys who are considered Pick Up Gods - and seen women tell them to "fuck off," or slap them, or get drinks spilled on them.

And these are the MASTERS!

The fact is, you can't ever qualify success as a Pick-Up artist, because there are too many variables.

Mystery has this "5-for-5" concept which is supposed to determine mastery in the venusian arts, but I completely disagree with it. He thinks if you can approach 5 women and make all five your girlfriend (five successes from five approaches) that means you're a master.

But here's my thing...

Being happy is more important than being a "Master."

Let's say all I want is a fat chick. Maybe that's my thing, where I say "I'm into fat girls!" and I can go out and pick up any fat chick I want. I could walk around and say "I'm a master pick up artist!" But anyone who saw the women I'm with would say I'm full of shit, because fat chicks aren't hot to anyone who doesn't have a fetish.

But if I really LIKE fat chicks, and I'm happy to get them, why shouldn't I be considered a master?

See the quagmire there?

Every man has his own idea of what a "Master" pick up artist should be. But to me, I don't even WANT to be a master. I just want to find 1 girl to settle down with and grow old with. That's my thing. I want a girl who I find attractive and fun to be with.

Some guys want to have 3 bisexual women all the time. Some want supermodels. And everyone has their own definition of what kind of woman is "beautiful."

That's why I hate this ranking stuff. I'll never rag on another man because I don't think his girl is hot. There was a time when people were making fun of Ross Jeffries because he was dating some old fat chick. I don't care what she looks like, because if he likes her, who am I to judge? I didn't even know he could actually get a woman, so I guess that impressed me more than what she looked like, lol.

8. What advice would you give to newbies starting out, in order to greatly accelerate their learning curve?

Meet up with other guys who do this stuff, befriend them, and help each other to learn.

There's so much crappy stuff out there, technique wise, that once you meet up with other guys you'll learn what to use and what to avoid.

You'll also have people to keep you motivated, and you'll have people you can speak with about problems and issues, which is vital to success.

Just having guys you can talk about this stuff with can be really liberating, because you may be too embarrassed to discuss it with your current friends.

9. What's your belief on inner game, and how did you improve it?

My belief is that inner game is THE single most important factor to success.

But it's also the hardest to improve.

Everyone has different levels of inner game. Some guys need more help than others.

I think when it comes to fixing inner game, it's a three step process:

1. Identify your bad beliefs
2. Be willing to change, even if you have to do stupid or embarrassing stuff to do so.
3. Have the willpower to see it through to the end.

If you can do those three things, you can fix any problem you have.

10. Do you have a personal favorite field report (your own) that you could relay?

I don't do too many field reports, because I tend to write really detailed stuff and it takes me forever to do them. Plus, most of the time I'm out with really high profile PUAs, and they all have girlfriends who keep tabs on them through the internet, so I have to be careful about what I write not to get my friends in trouble, heh, heh, heh.

I have some great stories I'd love to share, but won't, simply because I don't want to write them out. But there are a lot of field reports I did from a few years back, when I was really hitting the club scene here in Hollywood hard. I'll point to on my blog. You can find it here:

http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/field_report/index.html

11. What is your current sticking point (if any)?

I think I already answered that, lol. But if you want a sticking point more related to the community, I'd have to say that it's dealing with all the negativity out there.

There are so many guys out there with so much anger and frustration, I think they take it out on me and others in the community because it's easier to blame us "gurus" than it is to own their failures and try to improve.

I try to ignore most of it and focus on positive aspects of my life, like meeting women, being with friends, advancing my career, etc.

12. What are you goals now within the community, and in life?

Wow, where to start.

In life, my goal is to make a good living, find a good woman, and raise a good family. That's all I want and could ask for.

In the community, my goals are a little more nefarious.

Selfishly, I love having a popular blog because I get to meet some of the most interesting people on the planet. I've met so many PUAs who are amazing, weird, evil, or fascinating just through that, and I learn so much from them all.

I get to see what people think of me and others. I get to shed light on topics I find interesting or important.

I really want to learn more techniques and advice, and meet more people this year. A lot of the old school guys have some good stuff, but it's with the newer PUAs we're going to see the best technology spring from.

I also want to encourage more seduction blogging. When I started, I think there were 1 or 2 other PUAs blogging about their experiences. But then I came along and my blog got real popular, and it inspired other people to start their blogs, which is great. The more the merrier! I think blogs are great tools to help you focus your thoughts and learn about this stuff (plus, you get feedback).

I also want to shed more light on some of the shady business practices going on in the community. I know I get a lot of flack for being "negative" or whatever, but to me, when I hear about some poor guy getting ripped off, I think back to where I was when I first started and how that would have affected me.

At that point I say: What's more negative? Allowing good guys to continue to be hurt and misled? Or shedding some light on what's going on and try to help others find the right system for them?

Because of me, Ross Jeffries was called to the mat on a lot of his B.S. He runs his list like a dictator, telling people they aren't allowed to read stuff that isn't Speed Seduction related. You can't even post a technique on there that isn't about SS, even if it would be helpful (and most of his stuff isn't). The best thing I ever did for myself was get out of Speed Seduction and learn new methods of pick up and seduction. You can't improve in a closed system, but Ross's greed overpowers his willingness to help his students. He'd rather them buy from him than help them get what they need. He also is really insecure about competition because he knows his stuff is no where near as good as other people's, like Mystery's. The best Speed Seduction students all left for better methods for God's sake! But he still keeps on trucking...

I see the same mentality in Real Social Dynamics. It's a real shame, because I actually really liked those guys. Like Ross, they have the ability to suck people into a cult-like atmosphere where everyone is "competition" and if you're not with them, you're against them. That's a negative mindset and it doesn't help people and hurts them in the long run.

But because of my blog, they now offer a Money Back Guarantee! Something they NEVER offered before. It's still not a very good guarantee, but at least I got them to change their practices a little.

A lot of these guys think I'm "out to get them" or looking to "destroy their businesses." I could care less about that. I have no desire to destroy someone's livelihood. But if that livelihood is made by hurting guys who are trying to improve their lives and ripping them off, you bet your ass I'm going to take them to task over it!

To me, this community is about helping other guys. That's what it's always been about. You can still help guys by charging for services and information I have no problem with that. It's when you choose to hurt others to make a quick buck, or for the sake of your ego, that I have a problem with.

So I just want to keep on helping guys in this community as best I can. =)

Other Seduction Masters Interviews:

• Introducing the Seduction Masters Interviews
• Stephen Nash (Playboy)
• Herbal
• Sean
• Neil Strauss

Neil Strauss and Wayne Elise on SexTV

I hope all is well for you in life and with women. I've been rather busy lately, but remembered about you all, and your conquest to improve your charisma, charm, and knowledge in seduction.

SexTV, a cable channel did a segment with Neil Strauss and Wayne Elise (Juggler). It's an awesome semi-documentary, have a look. The video is divided into three parts, Neil Strauss is at the beginning and Wayne Elise aka Juggler is middle through end.

And no, I'm not sure how you guys can download them for future reference. (Bookmark these pages because the videos are stored in your local cache for easy replaying...)


Part 1/3

Part 2/3

Part 3/3

Presenting The "Seduction Masters Interview Series"

I'll be producing a series of interviews with the dating experts of the world presented here at the Attraction Chronicles.

The interviews will be fairly indepth, helping the reader to gain insight into how these masters got to where they are today. Tips, techniques and other thoughts they have on the subject of seduction and pickup will be relayed in a question and answer format.

These will be kick ass. We should be able to learn valuable lessons to shorten our personal learning curves.

The first of the interviews will be the infamous 'Thundercat' who was mentioned in "The Game", has written his own seduction book. I've also just completed an interview with Neil Strauss, along with other instructors in the various disciplines.

The Seduction Masters Interviews So Far

• Introducing the Seduction Masters Interviews
• Thundercat
• Stephen Nash (Playboy)
  Herbal
• Neil Strauss
• Grungey10
• Sean

Now is a choice moment to subscribe to the RSS feed from the left-hand column so you don't miss out on some of the exclusives coming up.

Donovan

How To Talk To Women On The Phone

Wayne Elise's (Juggler) Phone Guidelines


Below is a heavily expanded article on the same topic Juggler wrote for Esquire magazine.


This will help some guys who have difficulties when they talk to women on the telephone. People with very different styles from mine may not consider this useful, but for most this should help.

1. No matter who answers the phone announce who you are, "Hi this is Juggler. Is Katie there?"

This shows you are proud and confident to be you and it establishes some rapport with a housemate or parent which can be used later.

(By the way meeting a girl with her parents is a very good situation. I use my parents routine which many times has gotten the folks pushing their daughter into my arms)

2. If Katie is not there, chat up the person on the phone. "So what's your name? I'm not coming on to you or anything, as far as I know you could have three eyes and green skin but has anyone ever said you have a real sweet phone voice?" etc..

If this person asks to take a message after you ask for Katie, ignore it and ask who they are and begin to charm them.

Do not be in a hurry. This shows you feel you are not worthy of a person's time and shows a lack of confidence. Also, when you slow down, your delivery will improve with clarity and nuances in your voice.

I do not subscribe to the belief that you need to be the first to end the conversation. As long as you are being charming do not be quick to let this person go. Having said that, try to keep it to about five minutes with this person and do not feel bad if they have to cut you off. Many ASF people read way too much into what is alpha, supplication and all that. If you are being interesting it doesn't matter. On the other hand, if you have run out of material end the conversation.

I can not over-emphasize the worth of getting a person who shares her house to like you over the phone. It will make your life much easier.

2b. Try getting off the telephone without leaving a message. The best way is to just say something like, "Pleasure chatting with you XXXXX. Bye." If she asks to take a message at this point just say, "Thanks but no message."

Of course Katie will hear you called but there will be a little mystery.

3. Okay, you get Katie on the phone.

• Do not ask her if she is busy.
• Do not ask her what she is doing.
• Do not remind her where she met you.
• Do not believe you need to be the first to end the conversation. That will make you rush and ruin your rap.
• Talk slowly and confidently.

"Hi Katie. This is Juggler. You would not believe what my niece did yesterday."

Or "Remember how we were talking about the sexiest food and you said watermelon. Well I fed some watermelon to my cat and he is looking at me in the strangest way..."

Do not expect a 50-50 conversation. At least not at first. You will have to give it alot of momentum. Go right into material. (I define material as a funny story, patterns, an addendum to the conversation you had when you met the girl - whatever works for you.)

4. Keep the charm flowing and return her to the fun, sexy mood you left her in. Slow down your delivery and put sensualness in your voice. DO NOT think about the close. Work to re-attract her.

5. After fifteen minutes or so, the close should be easy. Almost an afterthought. Just talk about it as if it is already a done fact - hardly worth mentioning. Casual like, "Let's get together this week." Then shut up.

She will then recite her schedule and let you know where her free-times are. Pick out a day and time which will work for you. I don't want to make this post so long by typing up the details of why it is important for you to hear her schedule first or let her suggest times first. If someone really wants the breakdown on this let me know and I will post.

Some guys may think accommodating her schedule is supplicant. Maybe. Heck if I know. What is alpha, what's not alpha... Guys make themselves crazy thinking about that stuff. I just know my flaking is virtually nil.

6. If she claims to be too busy to get together, either act like you didn't even hear it, go back into material and then try to re-close with different language or try to do something immediately, "Let's go for ice-cream. I can pick you up in ten minutes."

If that still doesn't work just say, "Nice chatting with you." and let her go. Maybe repeat the process in a couple weeks or call other girls.

7. In practice, if you put her in the right mood you will have very little problem arranging a meet. Half the time the girls will bring up a meet. Sometimes I'll just keep talking material and try not to arrange a meet. She brings it up a meet and I will just keep talking material. I like to do seemingly counter-productive stuff like that just to wallow in how effective good material is.

Always work on her mood. As an example, a couple weeks ago, I called this girl to re-confirm our meet. She had cancelled on me before. From the tone of her first few words I knew she was planning on canceling on me again. But I never gave her the chance. Went right into good material. Steam rolled her into a mood of laughing and fun. Her mind was then changed to, "This guy is making me laugh. I guess I'll give him a shot." I re-confirmed in a very casual way.
We met up that night and she ended up sleeping over. I have since lost her. Too bad she was really a sweet girl. But that is another post.

One last word. In order to work the phone well, you must have confidence in your verbal abilities. Work on your tone. Work on you speed. Work on your material. Practice steamrolling your friends into a good mood.

-Juggler

Online Profile Photo Tips

Look at the bottom for a pickup related profile photo tip.

It's no secret that including a photo with your online profile will get you many more winks and emails. But what's the secret to taking and selecting a great photo that captures your personality and helps you stand out from the crowd? Experts divulge their tried-and-true techniques for taking and posting your best personal pics.

Bad:


Good:


Light up my life - not your forehead.

"Use an external light source whenever possible - please, please realize how bad an on-camera flash is going to make you look," begs Anthony Citrano, a New York-based photographer. "The best kind of light is soft, diffused light. Try bright indirect sunlight (afternoon light through a curtain is one excellent, no-cost example.) Avoid over-exposed, dark or out-of-focus pictures that make it hard to see the real you.

Eyes are the window to the soul - and the key to an authentic shot.

Obscuring your eyes not only hides an important feature, but it can send signals of untrustworthiness. "A direct gaze is important in real life and in pictures," says Maury Faggart, a portrait photographer in Charlotte, NC. "Eye contact does a whole lot for you, so be sure to look directly into the camera." Even if you're facing slightly away from the camera, use only snaps that have you looking at the lens. "And don't wear sunglasses or hats that hide your eyes," advises Faggart.

Dress to impress.

Clothes make the man (and the woman), so wear an outfit that expresses your personality and fits properly. Formal guy? Wear a suit. Outdoors girl? Sport your favorite fleece pullover. "Choose comfortable clothes in a color or colors that look good on you," advises Ginny Morey, a Seattle-based writer and photographer. "If you feel good, you're more likely to look good." High-contrast colors can make you stand out more on an online dating site, so go ahead and wear black and white if that suits you - just don't let the colors be too intense and overwhelm you (think purple and yellow).

Get ready for your close-up.

How you position yourself and your camera makes a huge difference. "If you're short, the shot should originate from slightly below waist level," Citrano counsels. "Stand or sit up straight. You'll look narrower if you angle your arms sharply away from your body and put your hands on your hips. For a masculine shot, shoot from slightly below the waist. For a feminine shot, shoot from slightly above. Chest up and out, tummy in. Roll your shoulders back a little. Elongate your neck a touch."

Improving on nature.

If you can work with the photos digitally a bit, there's nothing wrong with a little tweaking. "Finesse the shots a bit, but not to the point of airbrushing out all flaws and wrinkles,"
Morey notes. "Bump up the color saturation or increase brightness or contrast to make the photo itself more attractive and eye-catching." But, that said, do be sure to post a current photo that presents the most attractive you possible. Don't do anything to present an unrecognizable version of yourself, because that will just make you appear dishonest when you meet a suitor in person. Following these tips will help you take and post the most accurate and flattering photos - and increase your chances of finding love online.

These tips remind me of one of the DVD's on the Meeting Women Online program. David went through some similar (although more indepth) ways to make your profile stand out, and become unique. If online dating isn't you're thing, you should seriously consider making it a PART of you're overall pickup game.

Tip: Always try to have hot women with you in photos, or out in social environments. This helps to create SOCIAL PROOF. Which is more important than the way you look. I'll be posting more information on SOCIAL PROOF, and what it does, why it's soooo important to your game very soon.

Neil Strauss Gives Tour Of Project Hollywood (Video)

Neil on Swedish TV giving a brief overview of The Game, and also shows us inside Project Hollywood.

Mystery Method (5): Comfort

UPDATE! Do you want to get Mystery to teach you every step of the way? Check out hisDVD Home Course.

LEARN THE MYSTERY METHOD

ATTRACT 1:
Opening

ATTRACT 2:
Female-to-male attract phase (often called "attracting")

ATTRACT 3:
Male-to-female attract phase (or "qualifying")

COMFORT 1:
Connection

COMFORT 2:
Trust

COMFORT 3:
Intimacy

SEDUCTION 1:
Arousal

SEDUCTION 2:
Last-minute Resistance

SEDUCTION 3:
Sex

If you remember from OAP 4, you enter the Comfort phases once she is attracted to you (A2) and you have convinced her that you are interested in her for reasons she thinks are valid (A3).

In other words:
You enter Comfort as soon as you both accept that you are attracted to each other.
You leave Comfort (and go into Seduction) as soon as you escalate to sexual touching.

Comfort is the missing ingredient that allows you to convert mutual attraction into sex. Comfort changes her from "I want him but I don't know him well enough" into "I want him".

Sounds easy, doesn't it? By itself, it is. Most men can make a woman feel comfortable with them if they're not trying to have sex. (Sex comes in the Seduction phase, so don't worry about sex for anything in the Comfort phases). However, you have three things working against you:

1. You never know how much comfort is enough. Not enough comfort before you shift into Seduction, and you're a horny loser. Too much comfort before you make a move, and you're a pussy. This used to be a big trap for guys, but Mystery has a secret here, that we'll share with you in a minute.
   
2. You can't focus only on comfort. If you spend all of your effort making her feel so comfortable and safe around you, and none maintaining the tension and intrigue that you created in the Attraction phases, then she'll get bored and you'll lose her. On the other hand, rocking the tension too high in comfort will feel awkward and out place, and also destroy any comfort you've built up.
   
3. You have to escalate kino (touching). This is important preparation for Seduction. In the Seduction phases, you will obviously need to be touching her in an increasingly sexual way. Maybe you figure that that's Seduction, and you don't have to worry about it while in Comfort, right? Wrong. It's hard enough in Seduction to shift from non-sexual touching to sexual touching. It's infinitely harder in Seduction to shift from no touching at all to sexual touching. You're setting yourself up for failure in Seduction if you don't do the groundwork in Comfort.
   

So, how do we build comfort and defeat these obstacles?

Calibrate Timing with Mystery's 7-hour rule: This is the secret we promised you that destroys the #1 obstacle in the last section. One of Mystery's major breakthroughs is in learning that there is a 4-10 window during which a sexual relationship can begin. This means that, on a cold approach (where it's someone you meet at a coffee shop as opposed to your sister's best friend), you generally need between 4 and 10 hours of interacting with her before sex can occur. This can be over multiple days (you spend an hour with her when you first meet her, and then at least three hours with her the next day . . . that may be enough). But don't lose sight of the clock. Before 4 hours, she likely won't be "ready" and you'll run into insurmountable last-minute resistance in Seduction. After 10 hours, and it will feel awkward and creepy to her, since you didn't have the balls to make a move when you had the chance, and, anyway, by now she's gotten so used to your non-sexual presence that all of the attraction/sexual tension has dissipated. The 4-10 principle (average around 7) is crucial -- though there are exceptions, you'll be amazed at how often it applies.

You get points for just being there: You build comfort with a woman by being in situations with her where you could theoretically try to escalate sexually with her, but don't. If she can sit on your couch without you being all over her, that will build comfort. If you can grind with her on the dance floor without grabbing her ass, that builds comfort. Until you get to 4-10 hours of course!

Speed things up with multiple venues: Boy takes "Girl A" to the park. They have a picnic and hang out 6 hours. Boy takes "Girl B" window shopping, then they grab a bite, then they go to bookstore, then they have a drink, all over a 6 hour period. Which girl is more likely to be "ready"? Girl B. She has seen herself in more situations with the guy, and therefore feels she knows him better.

Make YOURSELF her source of comfort: Imagine that a girl invites you to a party. It turns out that she knows everyone and you know no one. She leaves for a few minutes. You awkwardly meet her friends and try to make a good impression, but it's still stressful, not knowing anyone. Then she comes back, and you're relieved. Then she goes and you're uncomfortable. Etc., etc. If you've been following along, you can see how useful this is in reverse. Bring her to places where you are the center of attention. Make her work to win your attention. By working to win your attention, by being happier when you're around then when you're not, by trying to make a good impression on your friends, she will be following behavior patterns that she is used to following when she is interested in someone. Making her follow them with you solidifies her attraction to you while building comfort.

Be genuinely interested in her. Remember, she won you over in A3: Qualification. You don't need to be so dismissive anymore. Now that you're in Comfort, it is expected, normal, and attractive for you to ask her personal questions about herself. On the other hand . . .
Don't stop being a challenge. Keep the romantic/sexual tension going during the comfort phase. At appropriate times, you should still tease her, disagree with her, etc. Once there is no tension, the interaction becomes boring for a girl.

The comfort game requires a lot of subtly and mental dexterity. There's a lot we couldn't put in here (most important: 1) the effect of the three different phases of Comfort; 2) How to escalate kino, which is really tricky . . . we needed to put over 15 minutes of kino escalation tactics on disk 3 of the Mystery Method DVD set). But this will get you started.

Remember -- do the math. Comfort takes about 6 hours (with a half-hour for Attraction and a half-hour for Seduction). That's a long time. Slow it down. The high-energy flair in Attraction isn't really useful here. To some extent, Comfort is where you "be yourself" -- or at least, be who you want to be -- and let her learn about you, while you do the same with her.

If this isn't easy, don't worry. Like the other phases, it needs practice and intuition.

For complete coverage of everything the Mystery Method can offer, download the Magic Bullets ebook.

Teaching Men The Art of Flirting

by Christina Shovlin 2005.

Guys who find themselves unlucky in love have a new opportunity to learn how to meet and attract women. Charisma Sciences (Charisma Arts), hosted by Wayne Elise, who also goes by the nickname "Juggler," is out to teach men how to approach women and find a date.

Similar to the new movie "Hitch," in which Will Smith plays a dating coach, Wayne goes with clients to meet women.

"The seminars are in a classroom setting," Charisma Sciences (Charisma Arts) business manager John Henson said. "While in workshops, guys go out with Wayne and approach women, and afterwards Wayne critiques them. We offer workshops, seminars, and even boot camp. Most guys don't come here wanting a girlfriend, they just want to have the ability to get a girlfriend if they wanted to. You want to be in a relationship because you want to be in it, not because you need to be in it."

Many men may look to the program as a way to overcome shyness, or simply to enhance one's overall social skills.

"I know a few guys, myself included, that are shy," FSU freshman Eugene Holley said. "I don't know how to approach females. I think it's a good idea."

Henson emphasized that most of the Charisma Sciences (Charisma Arts) clients are not psychologically handicapped; they're simply really shy.

According to Henson, the unique idea for this company started because there is a community of guys on the Internet who want to know how to meet and seduce women. A major belief of the company is that a person can't be good with women if they aren't good with people.

"You need to see everyone as a friend first," Henson said. "Our theory is that if you become more confident and have a good flow of conversation, you'll be able to meet women. It's about the approach and getting over the fear of talking to each other."

Some may wonder how a company such as Charisma Sciences (Charisma Arts) came to be.

"There is a demand for it, so that's why it exists," FSU sophomore Teddy Wohlford said. "I wouldn't use it personally because I don't have a problem with it, but if I find myself struggling, I would. For guys who (are) socially awkward, and trying to date, it could help."

There is a growing demand for this service.

"The market is about to explode," Henson said. "The 'Hitch' movie is coming out and Neil Strauss of Rolling Stone is releasing a book called "The Game." There are people from all over the world interested in this. In March, we're going to Australia."

Clients range in age from 18 to about 42, but some are older. A personal workshop costs $700, while a workshop with two people costs $600. The boot camp, however, costs $1600 for the weekend.

"It's not trickery, it teaches basic flirty language," Henson said. "Clients who come usually find this to be a long-term problem. It's not psychological. They find themselves being clingy in relationships and afraid to go out (to meet new people) by themselves. They've gotten shot down before. Some guys by their early 20s who aren't popular or successful with women realize that they need to get this part of their life settled."

Some women have expressed concern over the intentions of the company.

"I think it's kind of fake and insincere," FSU sophomore Melissa Wallace said. "It's kind of cheesy. It's sweet that he's making the effort, but it means more if it comes from his own head."

Others contend that what doesn't come naturally shouldn't come at all.

"If you don't know how to approach them on your own then you shouldn't be approaching them," FSU junior Keondra Mincy said. "It's unnecessary. Use your own tactics. If they don't appreciate you, then that's not a person you should be dating."

So far the Juggler does not have a program set up for women to meet men, but it is a future possibility. The company is also releasing DVD's that will help men learn how to flirt.

"It's about learning how to meet and attract women. There is a psychological element to it," Henson said.

The company can be contacted online at Charisma Arts.

Meet Pickup101

You get some dodgy seduction workshops out there. Pickup 101 by Sensei seems more hands on, and successful than most. An article about inside the Project San Francisco mansion...

With sweaty palms and over-heightened nerves, Brandon Jones* musters up every ounce of courage to walk over to the two brunettes nursing overpriced drinks at the MatrixFillmore in the Marina. He sports the generic male going-out uniform: button-up striped long-sleeved shirt and faded jeans. But as he opens his mouth to spout an equally generic line, a case of verbal diarrhea ruins any hope he has of impressing these women. Just another night as an average frustrated chump.

Jones isn't bad looking, doesn't have atrocious body odor or hold the title for world's worst breath. He's just a normal guy who's getting overlooked by girls he would like to get busy with. But being charismatic just doesn't come easy for Jones. Talking and flirting with women is uncomfortable for him, so he simply tries to avoid it all together.

Unwilling to face more rejection or make any more fruitless attempts to meet someone, Jones decides to take the plunge. He forks over $1,500 to learn how to become more "attractive" so that maybe the other side of his bed and that extra toothbrush he keeps around just in case will get some much needed use. He turns over his life for the next three days to the Master Pick-Up Artists (MPUAs) who will be working overtime to mold him into a suave Bond-type guy women fawn over.

In nearly every major city in the world, hidden beneath the eyes of the social norm, is an underground seduction lair. This is not fiction pulled off the pages of Neil Strauss' exposé of the secret society of pick-up artists, "The Game." These pick-up artist havens, called projects, are currently in New York, Las Vegas, London and Sydney. And amongst the plethora of restaurants and bustling stores in Chinatown is Project San Francisco, composed of seven pick-up artists living together and making their own unique contributions to the pick-up community.

The current pick-up community may have its beginnings with the literary success of the 1992 Ross Jefferies’ cult hit “How to Get the Women You Desire Into Bed." But it is now in full-fledged climax with Strauss’ book and making big media waves on The New York Times' Best Sellers list. But the MPUAs are striking while the community is hot, making some serious cash by teaching tricks of the pick-up trade to the dating incompetent through books, videos and traveling workshops.

Lance Mason, 35, started his company PickUp 101 out of Project San Francisco about two years ago, and he says it's been growing like crazy. He offers bootcamp workshops, booked months ahead of time, to teach men dating skills. Word of mouth has made him more sought after than his teacher and master of The Game, Mystery.

"I love and respect Mystery and learned a lot from him," Mason says of the several years he spent learning from him. According to his students, Mason has mastered The Game. He takes it to a whole new level and teaches the tricks like no one else. His successful teaching has branded him The Game name Sensei.

"What makes Sensei different from the others, like Mystery or Style (Neil Strauss), is that he is a real teacher," says friend and fellow pick-up artist Craig Calvert, who helped bring Mason into The Game.

Within the walls of Project San Francisco's eight-room mansion, complete with a 2,000-square-foot dance floor and stripper pole smudged with prints from who knows what body parts, the most devastatingly effective techniques to mesmerize the pants off women will be traded to those willing to hand over the cash.

Twelve wannabes settle into their places on black leather couches with their notebooks and pens in hand and watch in awe as Mason and three other instructors teach them the mysterious ways of courting women successfully. Divorcees, young single guys and professional businessmen from as far away as Australia are in attendance. Some of them are just looking to get laid, while others are searching for long-term, meaningful relationships.

The weekend is packed full of lectures followed by hours of actual practice of techniques targeted at undoing bad habits and forming new confidence levels. An entire three days are devoted to the first few minutes of meeting a woman, because, according to Mason, if you don't attract a girl within the first three minutes, you've already lost her.

Each miniscule step of approaching a woman is thoroughly dissected. Even the simplest things, like how to stand and the placement of the foot, can take up hours of lecture time and practice. "I call this the Feng Shui of pick-up," says instructor Grant on confidence and body language.

They provide style consultations aimed at helping surface level game, physical appearance, by picking apart wardrobes and making suggestions for improvement. A good pair of shoes and high quality jeans are where it's at. "Women spend a lot of money on expensive jeans and they like guys who do the same," Mason says.

Conversation is a big portion of the workshop, where massive amounts of time are spent developing their routine stack - opening lines, stories and playful teasing (called banter). Banter is a "verbal way of pulling a girl's pigtails on the playground," says seasoned pick-up artist Sean Messenger, 34. "The best way to approach a woman is that you can show her that you are fun."

Students actually go out into the field to practice the new skills they've acquired during the day. Bars in the Marina and SoMa become classrooms at night where they observe their masters in action. "I've never seen someone be so good at dancing and flirting at the same time," says one student while watching instructor Grant at work. By the end of the night, one teacher has effortlessly gotten phone numbers from several attractive women, and Messenger is in the back of the bar lip-locked with a hottie.

Joe Villanueva*, who completed PickUp 101's "Art of Attraction" in July, says, "All of this crazy stuff has happened. I mean, the social circles I have built alone are rad." But he admits that it takes commitment to practice and go out to really improve on a long-term basis or become as good as his teachers.

Struass and other original pick-up artists had no idea The Game and the business subculture would become such a phenomenon. "We never had any idea that it would be so huge with hundreds of thousands of guys," he says. He thinks it's the beginning of a men's self-help movement that's years in the making compared to similar women's factions. "Just pick up a Cosmo," says Strauss. "There has been a culture of advice for women years in the making."

Mason is happy with his growing business and is in the process of expanding to offer more courses and materials for his increasing clientele. In the meantime, he's very proud of the help he's been giving to the average Joes, or in some cases, not-so-average Joes, of our society. "Everywhere I go. I see my students talking to pretty women," Mason says triumphantly.

See the Pickup 101 workshop schedule here.

Related Pickup 101/Lance Mason links:

• Hidden Camera Pickup
• Surefire Attraction Secrets
• Seduction Workshop Review
• How To Keep A Woman Attracted To You
  

Should You 'Wait To Call Her Back'?

Taken from the dating tips mailbag of David DeAngelo.

If you've seen the classic cult movie "Swingers", then you probably remember the part where the guys are discussing how long a guy should wait to call a woman after he's gotten her phone number.

The scene really hits home for a lot of guys because it gets down to a real-world situation that we all confront and ponder.

I get a lot of emails from guys asking me what to do in this very situation.

The more I've thought about it, the more I realize that this particular question (and the answer to it) are part of a bigger, more important CONCEPT about how to deal with women.

Let me explain.

When a guy asks me "How long should I wait to call her?" this immediately tells me a few of things:

1) The guy doesn't feel like he's in control of the situation. If he felt like he was in control, then it he wouldn't ask, because it wouldn't matter.

2) The guy doesn't really "get" how male/female attraction works. If he did get it, then he'd be thinking in those terms rather than trying to figure out the exact best amount of time to wait before calling.

To put it differently, the "when do I call her back?" problem is part of a bigger concept, and once you understand that bigger concept better, then you'll have an automatic feel for when to call a woman back.

Most guys don't "get" one simple point:

If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION for you, then you must behave differently than if you want her to feel that "just friends" feeling.

In the world of ATTRACTION, things are completely different.

For instance, our moms taught all of us guys to "be nice" to women. This usually includes being sweet and complimentary when first meeting them, answering all of their questions directly, and giving them what they want when they want it.

But if you want a woman to feel that INSTANT GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION right from the beginning, then you're going to have to put aside this kind of thinking, and start learning some NEW ideas.

For instance:

1) A challenge is generally attractive to women.

2) Teasing and being evasive is generally attractive to women.

3) Making fun of a woman's appearance in a flirty way, as counter-intuitive as it might sound, can lead to ATTRACTION.

I'm trying to communicate the idea that when you're dealing with ATTRACTION, you have to put aside old "normal" ways of thinking and behaving.

I would like to mention one more point before getting into the specifics here...

These days, people are becoming very sensitive to having "techniques" used on them.

If a salesman uses a sales technique on us, we immediately get defensive and resistant.

If a panhandler asks for money in a way that smells of "technique" we pass them by without pity.

If a business treats us like a "thing" or a number instead of an individual person, we avoid them or buy elsewhere.

We humans don't like having manipulation techniques used on us, and when we detect that someone or something is using one to get the better of us, we resist.

So let's get back to the "how long to wait before calling her back" issue.

If you think about it, every situation is slightly different. One time you might meet a woman in the morning at coffee, and another time you might meet a woman at a club at 1 in the morning.

If you wait too long to call her back, I think you run the risk of seeming like you're just using a technique on her and you come across as a player who's trying to do your thing on her.

When deciding how long to wait before you call or email, I think it's important to ask yourself this question:

"What will likely INCREASE THE ATTRACTION in this situation?"

Here are a couple of ideas I have used with great success:

1) Email instead of calling first. I personally email the next day. I'll start with a charming email to get the conversation started and then tell her that I'm going to call in a day or two.

This has the effect of making contact with her relatively quickly, but still creating
anticipation because you haven't actually talked.

2) Call the next day, and make a joke about the situation. I might call and say, "Yeah, I was watching Swingers and they said to wait three days to call, but I was kind of in more of a one day mood..."

If you didn't get her email address and you MUST use the phone, just do your best to avoid being AVERAGE.

I personally believe that our attention spans as humans are getting shorter and shorter. We have more and more information coming in from television, newspapers and other sources - and we're getting cultural A.D.D. I think that if you wait too long, you're risking either being seen as using a technique, or risking being forgotten
altogether.

But if you make the opposite mistake and call too soon (for instance a few hours later), you run the risk of being seen as a needy Wuss who has no life.

In past newsletters, I have written about why it's important to leave immediately after getting a woman's email and/or number.

How long you should wait to call her back is a natural extension of this.

As a matter of fact, if you get a woman's email/number and then you keep coming over to talk to her, it can almost be seen as waiting 5 minutes to call her.

There's no anticipation, and it says all the wrong things.

A couple of other quick pointers for when you're making that first call:

1) Be busy. If you're going to ask her to join you for tea or something similar, make sure you mention two times that you're busy for every one time that you're available.

2) Don't linger on the phone. Make that first call short and to the point. If you stay on the phone for more than a few minutes, you're running the risk of getting into a normal "What do you do?", "Where do you live?", "Where did you go to school?" conversation. Avoid this.

To summarize, when in doubt wait a day or so to contact her again.

But more importantly, think about the situation in terms of anticipation and ATTRACTION, so when you do make contact it creates the correct context.

And now I have another question...

Do you enjoy learning the PSYCHOLOGY of how to create ATTRACTION with women? And do you enjoy learning the psychology of how to create more internal confidence... and how to overcome your "Inner Game" psychological issues?

Yeah, me too.

In fact, I think that the PSYCHOLOGY of success with women and dating is the MOST interesting part.

Of course, if you'd like to get my best thinking on how to deal with different situations and make a woman feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for you, then you need to read my book "Double Your Dating". It's full of all my best thinking and ideas about how to attract the kinds of women that you've always wanted. Just go to:

Double Your Dating

Your friend,

David DeAngelo