I had the coolest experience on Myspace the other day, had a date with her today. I used this tactic Neil reveals in David Deangelo's Meeting Women Online program. Just thought I would share that with you, and I'll tell you more about it Monday. I've got plans right now.
D
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Thursday, September 28, 2006
19 Year Old Girl Gives It Up For Shoes
I loved this email from Lance today. Awesome.
-Donovan
"What do I *really* look for in a guy?"
K. is 19. Hot. I mean, walk-down-the-street and cars veer off the road hot. And she enjoys it. She's the kind of young girl that makes men happy just to look at.
She was the perfect girl to get this secret from. What are the hotties really after?
"Yeah, not what you are supposed to look for. I mean, really, what gets your attention?"
She looked down at the floor, then back up at me, and smiled.
"You know what I really look for? A normal guy. A normal guy... with nice shoes."
"That's it?"
"You have any idea how hard that is to find?" she asked. "If I could just find that, I would be the envy of every girl in San Francisco. Yep. That's the top of the mountain right there."
Normal guy with nice shoes. Huh. You'd really think it would be more detailed than that, or maybe like the guy would have to have a chiseled six-pack, or drink a certain light beer, or have 20 minutes of great stories with famous people, or be famous people.
Or fight dragons and breathe fire, or something.
Normal guy. Nice shoes? That's it? Anyone can do that, right?
Well, yes and no.
See, when it comes to attracting women, lots of guys think it's really hard. You know, you've got to get everything just right and basically "trick" her into thinking you're attractive long enough to get what you want.
Well, that's the way little boys think, anyways.
The truth is, as men know, that attracting women is either easy, or next-to-impossible.
If you have the attractive traits that women look for, it's easy. But if you don't, you can work and work and work, but you'll never get the choice with women you want.
See, girls live in a different world than we do. It's nice there... it looks pretty, and smells like flowers and bath salts. But it has a lot to do with fashion.
Women use fashion to establish and maintain the social order. And the more status a woman has, the more critical the correct fashion is.
A hottie needs a guy who looks right. When she looks at you, she immediately thinks of you as a giant Ken doll she can dress up and take places and show off to her friends.
And if you don't look like you can dress the way she wants, the way that fits her life, she can't take a chance on you.
She needs to know that you are the kind of guy who dates girls like her. That's how she knows you will be appropriate to her. She wants someone who matches. Why?
Because then you will understand her.
Girls do not want to waste time explaining to men what's important. No one wants a fixer-upper. They want a house that's already really nice and comfy and clean, and they can
move right in and start showing it off to their friends.
Comprende, Senor?
And there's one other little secret about shoes that NO ONE else knows, but I'll tell you, because, you know, I like you and want you to do well.
She looks to see how clean your shoes are to figure out how clean you are.
Here, there, and everywhere.
Yes, she's thinking about what it would be like to sleep with you pretty much from the start. But she's also thinking "will it be fun and crazy and sexy, or will it be gross and slovenly and uncomfortable?"
Guess which one she's gonna pick if you're wearing beat-up, smelly old sneakers?
So what to do?
If you don't know fashion, start asking. You don't have to be Project Runway-level expert,
but you can't make mistakes.
And every guy makes them. I used to. And it wasn't until I put out my Dress For Success Program and actually taped the process of making over 5 guys that I saw how far I'd come.
I took all my years of experience and put it into this one DVD set so any man could watch and finally understand what his style has been telling women all these years.
If you don't know what your style says now, you need to figure it out.
After all, K. is still out there looking for that normal guy.
And you know the first thing she's looking at, and it's not your big... bank account.
Now, get out there and meet some women!
Your friend,
Lance Mason
-Donovan
"What do I *really* look for in a guy?"
K. is 19. Hot. I mean, walk-down-the-street and cars veer off the road hot. And she enjoys it. She's the kind of young girl that makes men happy just to look at.
She was the perfect girl to get this secret from. What are the hotties really after?
"Yeah, not what you are supposed to look for. I mean, really, what gets your attention?"
She looked down at the floor, then back up at me, and smiled.
"You know what I really look for? A normal guy. A normal guy... with nice shoes."
"That's it?"
"You have any idea how hard that is to find?" she asked. "If I could just find that, I would be the envy of every girl in San Francisco. Yep. That's the top of the mountain right there."
Normal guy with nice shoes. Huh. You'd really think it would be more detailed than that, or maybe like the guy would have to have a chiseled six-pack, or drink a certain light beer, or have 20 minutes of great stories with famous people, or be famous people.
Or fight dragons and breathe fire, or something.
Normal guy. Nice shoes? That's it? Anyone can do that, right?
Well, yes and no.
See, when it comes to attracting women, lots of guys think it's really hard. You know, you've got to get everything just right and basically "trick" her into thinking you're attractive long enough to get what you want.
Well, that's the way little boys think, anyways.
The truth is, as men know, that attracting women is either easy, or next-to-impossible.
If you have the attractive traits that women look for, it's easy. But if you don't, you can work and work and work, but you'll never get the choice with women you want.
See, girls live in a different world than we do. It's nice there... it looks pretty, and smells like flowers and bath salts. But it has a lot to do with fashion.
Women use fashion to establish and maintain the social order. And the more status a woman has, the more critical the correct fashion is.
A hottie needs a guy who looks right. When she looks at you, she immediately thinks of you as a giant Ken doll she can dress up and take places and show off to her friends.
And if you don't look like you can dress the way she wants, the way that fits her life, she can't take a chance on you.
She needs to know that you are the kind of guy who dates girls like her. That's how she knows you will be appropriate to her. She wants someone who matches. Why?
Because then you will understand her.
Girls do not want to waste time explaining to men what's important. No one wants a fixer-upper. They want a house that's already really nice and comfy and clean, and they can
move right in and start showing it off to their friends.
Comprende, Senor?
And there's one other little secret about shoes that NO ONE else knows, but I'll tell you, because, you know, I like you and want you to do well.
She looks to see how clean your shoes are to figure out how clean you are.
Here, there, and everywhere.
Yes, she's thinking about what it would be like to sleep with you pretty much from the start. But she's also thinking "will it be fun and crazy and sexy, or will it be gross and slovenly and uncomfortable?"
Guess which one she's gonna pick if you're wearing beat-up, smelly old sneakers?
So what to do?
If you don't know fashion, start asking. You don't have to be Project Runway-level expert,
but you can't make mistakes.
And every guy makes them. I used to. And it wasn't until I put out my Dress For Success Program and actually taped the process of making over 5 guys that I saw how far I'd come.
I took all my years of experience and put it into this one DVD set so any man could watch and finally understand what his style has been telling women all these years.
If you don't know what your style says now, you need to figure it out.
After all, K. is still out there looking for that normal guy.
And you know the first thing she's looking at, and it's not your big... bank account.
Now, get out there and meet some women!
Your friend,
Lance Mason
Monday, September 25, 2006
Sexual Technique
I've had some requests for what I would suggest is a great tool to increase your sexual skills, and how to help cultivate an orgasmic relationship.
I recommend a product that Thundercat also endorses.
Secret Orgasm Tips
Donovan
I recommend a product that Thundercat also endorses.
Secret Orgasm Tips
Donovan
Calibration
The problem with most of the community is the idea of being "alpha". I had a friend in New York City that was too alpha. Here are some signs that you are acting too alpha (which is actually NOT alpha at all). I was talking to Style the other day (Neil Strauss) and we realized that one of the biggest downfalls of the community is the tendenacy for guys to have this problem of being TOO alpha.
1. Talking over people during a normal conversation
2. Never compromising in conversation (Your always right)
3. Making statements that really have no real reason to be in the conversation (Eg. overty DHVing which actually hurts your chances more)
4. Too MUCH cocky and funny (Too many statements of cocky and funny turn you into a loser that's supplicating)
All of these problems come from a single source: a lack of calibration. Not toning down the conversation, or revving up the conversation when it needs to be. Being cocky when you needed to be sincere.
Lets work on this guys.
D
1. Talking over people during a normal conversation
2. Never compromising in conversation (Your always right)
3. Making statements that really have no real reason to be in the conversation (Eg. overty DHVing which actually hurts your chances more)
4. Too MUCH cocky and funny (Too many statements of cocky and funny turn you into a loser that's supplicating)
All of these problems come from a single source: a lack of calibration. Not toning down the conversation, or revving up the conversation when it needs to be. Being cocky when you needed to be sincere.
Lets work on this guys.
D
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
30 Days to a Better Life
No one starts pickup totally comfortable talking to strangers. But it's something you have to get used to.
At PickUp 101, we have a number of exercises and regimens we have our clients use to prepare for workshops and follow-up to make sure the changes stick. Here's one anyone can start using right away.
It's a low-risk way to get yourself comfortable and get past the idea that strangers are to be feared FOREVER.
Do this, and you will never have a problem with approach anxiety again.
This workout routine can work for ANYONE who's spending more time thinking than doing. You won't turn into a magic pickup guru overnight like others may promise. But you will get happier and more social and more comfortable with girls than you could have ever imagined in ONE MONTH. That's all. Not years. ONE MONTH.
Ready?
You are not to go to any bars or clubs for the next month. At all. You may go to pubs with your friends, but no "sarging." No bars. Nothing.
What you will do is make changes daily. Here's how.
For the next month, I want you to take a 30-minute walk every day. Pick a neighborhood that's easy to get to from home or work, and go there at about the same time every day. Ideally pick a place you can walk right after work. It can be a street with shops, or a park. But it must be a place where people are about.
When you are on your walk, you nod to yourself and keep repeating under your breath "i'm going to look silly but i'm going to have fun." Just do it.
Now comes the crucial part. When you walk past a woman, ANY woman, smile, look up at her and say "Hello." That's it. Just greet her. She does not have to say anything back. These are the simple steps to get you out of your head.
You have that goal. Now the next thing to look for is a woman, any woman, who is not walking. Do the same thing. Walk up and say "Hello." Wait until she says "Hello" back, then when she does, introduce yourself.
She will then tell you her name, and then you immediately tell her how you take a walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you're quite shy, and are learning how to just enjoy small talk and getting to know people.
Do NOT run any routines or try anything else. Just have a conversation about how you have trouble having conversations. I want you to be totally honest and sincere. And if she joins the conversation, that's great. Keep talking. If she has something to do that prevents her from talking, that's fine as well. Wish her a good day and move on.
To review, here is your homework for the next month.
1) 30-minute walk, rain or shine, EVERY DAY.
2) walk in a place where there are people about
3) When walking, nod your head a little and repeat to yourself "i may look silly but i'm going to have fun talking to people."
4) When walking past people, smile and say "Hello" to one person. It does NOT matter if they say Hello back or even look up.
5) The first woman you see on your walk, stop and greet her with a smile and "Hello." Then introduce yourself politely and ask her name. When she tells you her name, tell her you like to walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you are quite shy, and learning how to be social and enjoy small talk.
6) Once you say that, you are free to go. You do not need to say anything else. But you are also free to stay and talk.
7) No matter what else happens, make sure you walk for the full 30 minutes.
8) Get home and keep a checklist of the things you did. One check for walking for 30 minutes. One check for everyone you greeted with a hello. One check for every woman you stopped and chatted with.
9) When you see you have three checks, celebrate. Go to your favorite pub and watch the game with your buds. Order your favorite food. Give yourself a high-five. Whatever. But make sure you celebrate doing it.
Give me 30 days of this, and you will have a better life. I give you my word.
At PickUp 101, we have a number of exercises and regimens we have our clients use to prepare for workshops and follow-up to make sure the changes stick. Here's one anyone can start using right away.
It's a low-risk way to get yourself comfortable and get past the idea that strangers are to be feared FOREVER.
Do this, and you will never have a problem with approach anxiety again.
This workout routine can work for ANYONE who's spending more time thinking than doing. You won't turn into a magic pickup guru overnight like others may promise. But you will get happier and more social and more comfortable with girls than you could have ever imagined in ONE MONTH. That's all. Not years. ONE MONTH.
Ready?
You are not to go to any bars or clubs for the next month. At all. You may go to pubs with your friends, but no "sarging." No bars. Nothing.
What you will do is make changes daily. Here's how.
For the next month, I want you to take a 30-minute walk every day. Pick a neighborhood that's easy to get to from home or work, and go there at about the same time every day. Ideally pick a place you can walk right after work. It can be a street with shops, or a park. But it must be a place where people are about.
When you are on your walk, you nod to yourself and keep repeating under your breath "i'm going to look silly but i'm going to have fun." Just do it.
Now comes the crucial part. When you walk past a woman, ANY woman, smile, look up at her and say "Hello." That's it. Just greet her. She does not have to say anything back. These are the simple steps to get you out of your head.
You have that goal. Now the next thing to look for is a woman, any woman, who is not walking. Do the same thing. Walk up and say "Hello." Wait until she says "Hello" back, then when she does, introduce yourself.
She will then tell you her name, and then you immediately tell her how you take a walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you're quite shy, and are learning how to just enjoy small talk and getting to know people.
Do NOT run any routines or try anything else. Just have a conversation about how you have trouble having conversations. I want you to be totally honest and sincere. And if she joins the conversation, that's great. Keep talking. If she has something to do that prevents her from talking, that's fine as well. Wish her a good day and move on.
To review, here is your homework for the next month.
1) 30-minute walk, rain or shine, EVERY DAY.
2) walk in a place where there are people about
3) When walking, nod your head a little and repeat to yourself "i may look silly but i'm going to have fun talking to people."
4) When walking past people, smile and say "Hello" to one person. It does NOT matter if they say Hello back or even look up.
5) The first woman you see on your walk, stop and greet her with a smile and "Hello." Then introduce yourself politely and ask her name. When she tells you her name, tell her you like to walk every day and have conversations with friendly-looking people because you are quite shy, and learning how to be social and enjoy small talk.
6) Once you say that, you are free to go. You do not need to say anything else. But you are also free to stay and talk.
7) No matter what else happens, make sure you walk for the full 30 minutes.
8) Get home and keep a checklist of the things you did. One check for walking for 30 minutes. One check for everyone you greeted with a hello. One check for every woman you stopped and chatted with.
9) When you see you have three checks, celebrate. Go to your favorite pub and watch the game with your buds. Order your favorite food. Give yourself a high-five. Whatever. But make sure you celebrate doing it.
Give me 30 days of this, and you will have a better life. I give you my word.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Meeting Women Online: "Tips and Tricks"
***QUESTION***
Dear David,
WOW. It works. I started by reading part of your book, and used some of it, and it worked great. I couldn't believe that it was your advice that helped me, I thought it was a shift in the universe or something. It was amazing. So, I went back to being a wussbag. The girl who accepted me one day rejected me the next. Bewildered, I continued to read your book, applied it once again, and I now get plenty of wonderful feedback from women of all sorts (not to mention the wonderful dates).
But, my question is this. How cocky is too cocky? I have stated the meekest positive aspect of myself and other times flouted my greatness. I do not know what the limit is, and I know it must exist. Mustn't it?
MSY, from Maryland
MY COMMENTS:
You're asking a good question here.
Remember, the formula isn't "Cocky".
The formula is "Cocky PLUS Funny".
You can say just about ANYTHING as long as what you are saying is actually FUNNY.
Remember, this technique is very powerful. It's a way of communicating with women that actually TRIGGERS and then AMPLIFIES ATTRACTION.
I've learned that "arrogance" or "cockiness" is NOT unattractive to women... as long as they're not an obvious over compensation for INSECURITY.
When you ask me what the "limit" is, what I hear you saying is, "I'm afraid to push this too far".
Don't let your own insecurities and doubts stop you from using a great technique.
Use it. But make sure you add the all powerful ingredient: HUMOR. The humor is what makes this technique magic.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I've been enjoying your advanced series very much, and have found a lot of success over the last few months. All this success is exciting, but I'm finding that I have to rethink my usual responses to just about everything. A case in point:
Last night over the phone, the woman I've been spending the most time with lately spent a lot of effort telling me how much she loves me. In fact, I think she's really falling for me hard. The question is, though, how do I respond to a woman that gets all mushy without spending all of my attraction points? If she says something like
"I've fallen in love with you" or "I love you soooooo much", what are some examples of things to say back that will keep the attraction building?
Your devoted fan,
A in Oregon
MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, that's one of the fringe benefits of learning these concepts... women actually start to LOVE you.
You left an important part out of your question...
You didn't mention how you feel about this girl yourself, and what YOU want out of the relationship.
I'll have different answers for you based on what your intentions are.
But to give you the most direct answer to your question of how to respond to this... take a page out of the "Han Solo Manual For Responding To Women Who Say That They Love You".
Remember at the end of Empire Strikes Back when Han was about to be frozen in Carbonite, and Princess Leia said, "I Love You"?
Remember what Han said back?
He said, "I know".
Cocky, Funny, and Evasive.
Some variations:
"You should."
"I don't blame you."
"Well, I would if I were you."
...these are all fun.
One warning: If this woman is ACTUALLY falling in love with you because you've been seeing her five times a week for the last six months, then you need to remember that this is a serious thing.
If you've gone out with her 4 times over the last 3 weeks, that's different. But, if she thinks you're getting married soon, then you might want to consider what you really want out of this, and act accordingly.
***QUESTION***
I must commend you on that masterpiece you wrote,your Double Your Dating. You captured my attention and maintained it through out the entire reading! I actually downloaded it this morning 'round 8:00 or so and you kept me reading it until almost
noon! I don't think there's another person out there that has EVER kept my attention so intensely though such a restricted and normally dry medium! I found much of the thoughts you expressed to be very insightful and exceptionally well communicated. This being said, I find myself in a conundrum that seems like it would lend itself to
your expertise. A bit of pre-amble.....
I'm 22 years old and I live in Ontario, Canada but only about 10 minutes from the Michigan border. About 3 months ago I joined some sorta gay-assed meeting service online here more out of curiosity than anything else but I came across this one wonderous lady from Michigan who lives about an hour and a half away. We've emailed each other probably 60-70 times and we've talked on the phone quite a number of times as well but we've never met in person yet. Well that day is to be approaching soon and I've come across a conflict of ideas now that I've read your book. For the most part, everything I do is the opposite of what you suggest with the odd exception like my humorous nature. The problem lies in the idea of changing my character to suit what you described (in a VERY logical manner) to be the ideal actions a fellow is to take. I have an interest in her, and she (as far as I can tell) has an interest in me... but the idea of being very non-challant and sort of distant/hard to get although it appeals to me GREATLY with someone new, I'm not sure would be advisable in this situation. If you could give me some feed back I would be greatly indebted to your wisdom even more.
Thanks for your time, J
MY COMMENTS:
In your email you said, "I don't think there's another person out there that has EVER kept my attention so intensely though such a restricted and normally dry medium!"
I'll tell you what man... if you keep talking this way the "medium" isn't the only thing that's going to be dry.
Someone get this guy a copy of the "How to talk like a normal guy that most people don't think is a JACKASS" manual.
Look man. You can't go through life trying to sound like you're more intelligent than everyone else... especially when you're 22... unless you want women to respond to you the way the woman in the bar responded to Russell Crowe's advances in "A Beautiful Mind". Watch the movie if you need the specifics.
It's OK to be smart. No problem.
But when you try to TALK like you're smart, you usually end up coming off as insecure and nerdy.
Case in point: Your email.
And no, saying "gay-assed" doesn't make you cool.
Trust me.
Now, as for your girl situation...
If you've met a girl on the internet and emailed her back and forth 60 or 70 times, then you should probably do what has worked for you so far, and don't change what you're doing just because you read my book.
You're going to want to practice for a little while before you go completely changing your entire personality with a woman who thinks she's going to be marrying you soon. (Did I say that?)
You're dealing with a classic problem:
You don't know how to meet women effectively, so this one woman is VERY IMPORTANT.
If you start doing the things that I recommend with her, and it doesn't work out, you'll blame me... when it was probably your fault for acting like her girlfriend for the last 47 years by email.
Go meet more women. Practice what you've learned. And do what you've been doing with the girl you met online, because if you change into a different person right before her eyes she might think you're psycho... and get a restraining order against you. Hell, I'm trying to figure out why she doesn't have one ALREADY the way you talk...
lol.
I know, I know. I'm a funny guy.
And, another thing (or two)...
Get yourself a copy of this:
http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/mwo
David D.
Dear David,
WOW. It works. I started by reading part of your book, and used some of it, and it worked great. I couldn't believe that it was your advice that helped me, I thought it was a shift in the universe or something. It was amazing. So, I went back to being a wussbag. The girl who accepted me one day rejected me the next. Bewildered, I continued to read your book, applied it once again, and I now get plenty of wonderful feedback from women of all sorts (not to mention the wonderful dates).
But, my question is this. How cocky is too cocky? I have stated the meekest positive aspect of myself and other times flouted my greatness. I do not know what the limit is, and I know it must exist. Mustn't it?
MSY, from Maryland
MY COMMENTS:
You're asking a good question here.
Remember, the formula isn't "Cocky".
The formula is "Cocky PLUS Funny".
You can say just about ANYTHING as long as what you are saying is actually FUNNY.
Remember, this technique is very powerful. It's a way of communicating with women that actually TRIGGERS and then AMPLIFIES ATTRACTION.
I've learned that "arrogance" or "cockiness" is NOT unattractive to women... as long as they're not an obvious over compensation for INSECURITY.
When you ask me what the "limit" is, what I hear you saying is, "I'm afraid to push this too far".
Don't let your own insecurities and doubts stop you from using a great technique.
Use it. But make sure you add the all powerful ingredient: HUMOR. The humor is what makes this technique magic.
***QUESTION***
Dave,
I've been enjoying your advanced series very much, and have found a lot of success over the last few months. All this success is exciting, but I'm finding that I have to rethink my usual responses to just about everything. A case in point:
Last night over the phone, the woman I've been spending the most time with lately spent a lot of effort telling me how much she loves me. In fact, I think she's really falling for me hard. The question is, though, how do I respond to a woman that gets all mushy without spending all of my attraction points? If she says something like
"I've fallen in love with you" or "I love you soooooo much", what are some examples of things to say back that will keep the attraction building?
Your devoted fan,
A in Oregon
MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, that's one of the fringe benefits of learning these concepts... women actually start to LOVE you.
You left an important part out of your question...
You didn't mention how you feel about this girl yourself, and what YOU want out of the relationship.
I'll have different answers for you based on what your intentions are.
But to give you the most direct answer to your question of how to respond to this... take a page out of the "Han Solo Manual For Responding To Women Who Say That They Love You".
Remember at the end of Empire Strikes Back when Han was about to be frozen in Carbonite, and Princess Leia said, "I Love You"?
Remember what Han said back?
He said, "I know".
Cocky, Funny, and Evasive.
Some variations:
"You should."
"I don't blame you."
"Well, I would if I were you."
...these are all fun.
One warning: If this woman is ACTUALLY falling in love with you because you've been seeing her five times a week for the last six months, then you need to remember that this is a serious thing.
If you've gone out with her 4 times over the last 3 weeks, that's different. But, if she thinks you're getting married soon, then you might want to consider what you really want out of this, and act accordingly.
***QUESTION***
I must commend you on that masterpiece you wrote,your Double Your Dating. You captured my attention and maintained it through out the entire reading! I actually downloaded it this morning 'round 8:00 or so and you kept me reading it until almost
noon! I don't think there's another person out there that has EVER kept my attention so intensely though such a restricted and normally dry medium! I found much of the thoughts you expressed to be very insightful and exceptionally well communicated. This being said, I find myself in a conundrum that seems like it would lend itself to
your expertise. A bit of pre-amble.....
I'm 22 years old and I live in Ontario, Canada but only about 10 minutes from the Michigan border. About 3 months ago I joined some sorta gay-assed meeting service online here more out of curiosity than anything else but I came across this one wonderous lady from Michigan who lives about an hour and a half away. We've emailed each other probably 60-70 times and we've talked on the phone quite a number of times as well but we've never met in person yet. Well that day is to be approaching soon and I've come across a conflict of ideas now that I've read your book. For the most part, everything I do is the opposite of what you suggest with the odd exception like my humorous nature. The problem lies in the idea of changing my character to suit what you described (in a VERY logical manner) to be the ideal actions a fellow is to take. I have an interest in her, and she (as far as I can tell) has an interest in me... but the idea of being very non-challant and sort of distant/hard to get although it appeals to me GREATLY with someone new, I'm not sure would be advisable in this situation. If you could give me some feed back I would be greatly indebted to your wisdom even more.
Thanks for your time, J
MY COMMENTS:
In your email you said, "I don't think there's another person out there that has EVER kept my attention so intensely though such a restricted and normally dry medium!"
I'll tell you what man... if you keep talking this way the "medium" isn't the only thing that's going to be dry.
Someone get this guy a copy of the "How to talk like a normal guy that most people don't think is a JACKASS" manual.
Look man. You can't go through life trying to sound like you're more intelligent than everyone else... especially when you're 22... unless you want women to respond to you the way the woman in the bar responded to Russell Crowe's advances in "A Beautiful Mind". Watch the movie if you need the specifics.
It's OK to be smart. No problem.
But when you try to TALK like you're smart, you usually end up coming off as insecure and nerdy.
Case in point: Your email.
And no, saying "gay-assed" doesn't make you cool.
Trust me.
Now, as for your girl situation...
If you've met a girl on the internet and emailed her back and forth 60 or 70 times, then you should probably do what has worked for you so far, and don't change what you're doing just because you read my book.
You're going to want to practice for a little while before you go completely changing your entire personality with a woman who thinks she's going to be marrying you soon. (Did I say that?)
You're dealing with a classic problem:
You don't know how to meet women effectively, so this one woman is VERY IMPORTANT.
If you start doing the things that I recommend with her, and it doesn't work out, you'll blame me... when it was probably your fault for acting like her girlfriend for the last 47 years by email.
Go meet more women. Practice what you've learned. And do what you've been doing with the girl you met online, because if you change into a different person right before her eyes she might think you're psycho... and get a restraining order against you. Hell, I'm trying to figure out why she doesn't have one ALREADY the way you talk...
lol.
I know, I know. I'm a funny guy.
And, another thing (or two)...
Get yourself a copy of this:
http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/mwo
David D.
Monday, September 18, 2006
Being A Man and Making Confident Moves
Well over the weekend I ended up hooking up with this brunette girl who is hawt. Real eye candy. I found myself taking note of my actions of that night and the week or so I've known her, and I've put them down to something that I've been working on lately: being forward and making confident moves.
You see, I learn't something good from David Deangelo that I often have to kick myself and remind myself over: Is that women are ok with what you do, as long as you are. Now don't get this confused with sexual assault, being social UNcalibrated or anything stupid like that, I mean, holding her hand, touching, leading the conversation in the direction you want, and going in for the kiss when you KNOW you're supposed to (but a little something in your gut might be saying don't do it).
We'll I ended up making out with this woman on a lookout in HER silver mustang. The backseats on those car's are small, just so you know.
What I mean is that you should be confident in your actions enough for her to feel it. If you screw up during the conversation and saying something stupid, it's almost good enough and would do more for the interaction to say something like, "Wow that was kinda random, but I like it."
Being "alpha" isn't about not compromising on dinner, location, going out times, it's being in control at all times, even though you give her control at times.
You'd be suprised how often women will flock to you when you are in your reality and loving what you do. Something I wouldn't have realized before the community.
You see, I learn't something good from David Deangelo that I often have to kick myself and remind myself over: Is that women are ok with what you do, as long as you are. Now don't get this confused with sexual assault, being social UNcalibrated or anything stupid like that, I mean, holding her hand, touching, leading the conversation in the direction you want, and going in for the kiss when you KNOW you're supposed to (but a little something in your gut might be saying don't do it).
We'll I ended up making out with this woman on a lookout in HER silver mustang. The backseats on those car's are small, just so you know.
What I mean is that you should be confident in your actions enough for her to feel it. If you screw up during the conversation and saying something stupid, it's almost good enough and would do more for the interaction to say something like, "Wow that was kinda random, but I like it."
Being "alpha" isn't about not compromising on dinner, location, going out times, it's being in control at all times, even though you give her control at times.
You'd be suprised how often women will flock to you when you are in your reality and loving what you do. Something I wouldn't have realized before the community.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
The Most Dangerous Aspect of Pickup
I liked this post on Pickup101's blog about some of the effects of learning pickup. I might not agree with everything, but I think the message rings true.
The most dangerous part of learning pick-up occurs when you start dehumanizing the people you talk to.
One way to do this is to use jargon to create an alternate reality. Now you’re not talking to a cute girl, you're sarging an SHB11. Whom you hope to f-close.
And it doesn’t matter if she rejects you, because she's not rejecting you, she's rejecting this alternate personality of silly clothes and other people’s routines.
The other easy way to dehumanize your interactions is just to have too many of them. The reason you can't find 50 girls a day is because you shouldn't be talking to 50 girls a day. Talk to 5 girls a day, but make your interactions count for something.
Hell, take it from me, if you resolve to talk to the hottest girl you see, every day, no matter what, that mission is pretty hard in itself.
Remember that the women you're talking to are people, too. At some point in your interaction you will be trying to make a real emotional connection with them. Those who forget this turn into what Neil Strauss ('Style') called "social robots".
In Art of Attraction we have several exercises that we use to overcome approach anxiety. No jargon, no dehumanization, no objectification. A few hours after they arrive at the workshop, our students are out there flirting with cute girls and making them laugh.
In the long run, I think dehumanizing the people you talk to has even worse effects. You need to internalize that these are other people, with their own hopes, dreams, and insecurities. They’re normal people, just like you, who want to meet fun strangers and laugh with them. If they're "HBs" and "targets" you’ll think of them that way forever.
So start small. Say hi to people and smile at them. Oh my God! They smile back. Give them a sincere compliment. Oh my God! They smile bigger. Practice a standard opener that you really like. Yeah, it's a crutch. There's no problem with that because you're going to use it to make a cute girl laugh, not "pump an HB’s buying temperature through the roof". Try it on friends first and make sure they laugh. Find a supportive wing and get out there and the most important thing is...
have fun!
NielsTuesday, September 12, 2006
Where To Take Women On Dates
From David Deangelo.
***QUESTION***
I have to admit your material is dead on the money. C & F works great, and your analysis of how the female mind works answers a lot of questions I've had.
While I am loath to admit it, I am a 22 y/o virgin. When girls find out about this they almost always ask why? Some girls have even gone as far as to change their minds about sleeping with me because I was a virgin. They claimed that they didn't want to risk giving me a bad first time, but I smell some BS there. I know girls read into everything, so what are they reading into the fact that I'm a virgin and is there any explanation I can give that won't have me looking like a loser?
Thanks D.S. Chicago
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow.
I really admire the fact that you're willing to reach out and ask for help.
Most guys are so caught up in themselves and their problems that they wind up suffering in silence... and, of course, are worse off because of it.
I'm going to give you an "outside the box" answer for your particular situation (even though it sounds like you've been doing quite a bit of "out of the box" thinking all by yourself... I know, I just couldn't help myself).
Here it is...
Don't talk about it.
Don't "explain" it in the first place.
Many problems in life are ILLUSIONS.
And yours is one of them.
Think of it this way...
Your dad, grandfather, great-grandfather, and so on, all the way back to the first humans figured out how to have sex for the first time.
It's not that big of a deal, man.
I recommend that you focus on learning how a woman's body works, how to get her turned on and keep her turned on, etc. rather than focusing on YOURSELF... which is what you're doing.
If you can make a woman feel incredible physical pleasure, she won't care if you're a virgin. In fact, she won't ask or even bring the topic up, because she'll be feeling so good that the thought will never cross her mind.
It is not your obligation as a person to inform the person you're about to sleep with that you've never had sex before... lol.
Great email...
***QUESTION***
I am recently divorced and am 32 years old. Haven't dated since I was 21. So I have just kind of thrown myself back out there. A friend of mine told me about you and this newsletter so I started reading it and am fascinated by your advice. I have always been the nice guy - ready with an honest compliment and holding the door etc. Its not an act - its just how I am. But I seem to be sensing a problem with this...
With my friends and gal pals I get the "you're too nice" comment all the time. I am still trying to figure out how you can be too nice. How can you be too much of a gentleman. Is this truly something that can kind of trip you up dating these days, if
you are like me. Thanks
DK - Denver, Colorado
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah yes, the big realization that "nice" isn't always "good".
I'm going to give you a piece of advice that could be PRICELESS to you.
Get my Advanced Dating Techniques program.
It will change your entire perspective of how the world works (at least when it comes to dating and relationships).
I guarantee beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will get TREMENDOUS benefit from it.
Why do I just recommend my program rather than giving you an explanation?
Because I can tell from your question that you need more than a short answer.
You need a new understanding of WHY "nice" doesn't attract women... and what to do instead.
I was a "nice" guy for a lot of years of my own life, and I honestly believed that I was doing the "right thing".
It only makes sense, right?
How could it POSSIBLY be true that ANYTHING other than "niceness" could lead to success with women?
Well guess what?
It IS true.
And if you don't take the time and make the investment in yourself to LEARN what you need to do, you're going to suffer a lot longer than you need to.
Trust me on this one.
If, for some reason, you can't afford my program at this point in your life, then stay tuned to these newsletters for hints. There are a lot of good ideas here.
But if you can afford it, get it.
Women don't feel those powerful, magical, GUT-LEVEL emotions for "nice" guys.
It may suck, it may not be "fair", and it may not be "right" or whatever.
Get used to it. It's reality.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
I attended your seminar a few months ago and have almost all of your materials (guys you've got to get the interview series, it'll blow you away, and is VERY affordable). I am finally starting to "get it." Here's an example: I recently met a girl online (she responded to my personal ad) and we got together a few evenings ago. She stayed the whole evening and after some verbal teasing (C&F) things progressed physically. Teasing her with smooth kissing & touching then pulling away really seemed to turn her on (2 steps forward 1 step back). Later, after making out, I playfully tried to kick her out of my apartment. I said things like "isn't it past your bedtime, I need to sleep, don't you have to work tomorrow, don't your cats need food," etc. Well she didn't leave until 8 the next morning :) and even then she didn't want to leave, but had to go to work. We've exchanged several emails since, in which I've really busted her balls, she remains very interested and we're meeting again soon. I learned a few things here. Not only did proper use of the C&F and 2 steps forward, 1 step back concepts build sexual tension & anticipation, but trying to get rid of her (playfully), as counter-intuitive as it may seem, actually drew her closer. I realized that in general, being willing to walk away is so powerful because it shows you're confident and not needy, in control of yourself (and your hormones), and instantly makes you a challenge she must work for, all of which makes her want you more, not less. This worked especially well because I had set up the relationship properly first (i.e. created ATTRACTION). This definitely shows a big improvement in my "game." Keep the great materials coming!
N. from Salt Lake City (yeah you know me)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What can I say? You're the man...
It's clear to me that you've gotten to the point where you can UNDERSTAND what is going on... and you've reached the point where you can actually control yourself (and those hormones).
Nice!
Now, QUIT EXCHANGING "A FEW EMAILS" so fast!
Give her room to miss you and think about you.
Give her at LEAST a day or two off here and there to think about you... but not hear from you.
If you do not, you'll feel the tide begin to shift, her interest begin to fade, and you'll be wondering what happened.
Now keep up the great work!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dear David:
I have been receiving your emails for a few weeks now, and wanted to pass along a success story of my own.
I heard something on the radio few weeks ago that grabbed my attention. The caller said that he just walks up to women he sees, and asks them for their bra or panties or both. (He only tells them that he collects them.) Well, after reading your emails, I thought this was a great C&F thing to try. I went out last Saturday night, and I saw an attractive woman and told her that I was collecting women's underwear, and that I wanted hers. After the shock wore off, she got up and went into the bathroom. When she came out, she handed me her panties and said, " I swear to God, if you sniff these, I'll kick your ass." Well, I couldn't resist. I turned around and stuck out my butt. She smacked it, and then I sniffed her panties! Again, she was so shocked she just stood there looking at me with her mouth open. Well, to make a long story short, when I left a few minutes later, she was giving me her number without my even asking for it!!! I would never have thought of doing something like this before reading your emails, let alone actually doing it. You've changed my life. Thank you
B. B. Casper, WY
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I don't know what to say to this one, except for "I had to include this one".
Guys, try this one at your own risk...
But it makes for some damn good reading.
Maybe it's something in the water there in Casper, Wyoming...
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
Great stuff. I got your e-book a while back, and it has totally changed my attitude and approach towards women. It's helped me tremendously in meeting and talking to them. I can't wait to get your advanced series. My dilemma is is that I'm only 5-2, I weigh 120 lbs., and I'm balding, to top it off (pardon the pun). I know from experience that most females will pretty much have nothing to do with a guy as short as I am. On the rare occasion, when I can meet someone who isn't so worried about height, I have no problem being c & f and making them laugh. But even they seem to not take me so seriously. I even tried my luck online, but again, it's the rare female that responds to me. Credit to those who do, they usually are a ton of fun to talk to, and could care less how tall a guy is. Any recommendations (short of platform shoes or stilts) on different approaches I could use to change my luck with them, and make them realize that personality's more important than height?
T in FLA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, my recommendation is that you stop thinking that you have a "dilemma".
You have what you have.
Calling it a dilemma, thinking of your size as a problem, and trying to figure out "tricks" or techniques to deal with your "problems" isn't the answer.
Do this:
Boldly approach every woman you're interested in as if you're the greatest opportunity she will ever have.
Learn how to overcome your own issues with yourself.
Stop talking about "luck" as if it's the reason why you're unsuccessful with women.
Approach each new woman with an open mind, and realize that every one is different.
Most importantly...
If you are rejected, shut down, criticized, put down, laughed at, or whatever is the WORST thing you can think of, GET OVER IT.
You'll get in a car every day without thinking about it, and drive down a road at 60 miles per hour, NEARLY MISSING every single car that goes by in the other lane...literally taking your LIFE into your hands... with NO FEAR... but you're allowing your concept of how women are biased against you IMMOBILIZE you.
Stop that!
Your whole "I know from experience that woman won't have anything to do with a guy that's as short as I am" thing is BS!
I have a friend who's about 5'4" or so who is ALWAYS surrounded by hot women.
In fact, a DIFFERENT friend of mine who's also shorter dates some of the most beautiful women in the world.
Your limitation is in your mind.
Sure, women PREFER taller guys ON AVERAGE.
But your limiting belief sucks. Get rid of it.
***QUESTION***
Hey D, I'm a 20 year old guy, i work in a grocery store and am attending college. I read your newsletters but haven't gotten around to buying your book yet. Anyway, here it is, I use your C&F techniques with women that i meet, get their numbers and email, etc. but when we go out, not like a date, just to the clubs, or parties, or whatever. Most of the time even though i was the one who did everything, the girls always seemed to be more interested in my friends than in me. I don't act to needy or clingy or wuss like (i once was, but after reading some of your newsletters i realized i was being more of an ass than anything). anyway, can you help me out here?
later.
T in elba
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well what are you doing, man?
You get a woman's email and number, then call her, then get a date with her... then take her to A PARTY?
Or even WORSE, a CLUB?
Duh.
The whole idea of getting a girl's email and number is so you can spend more time ALONE with her.
If you want to hang out with women at clubs, DON'T TAKE YOUR DATE, dumbass.
Are you familiar with the concept of not taking sand to the beach?
Here's my recommendation:
When you're arranging your first date with a girl, tell her to come to your house, and that you'll go to coffee or tea with her from there.
Then, when you're finished with your beverages, tell her that you want to show her your new Spiderman comic books.
ANYTHING is better than taking a girl to a party, dude.
Stop it!
Oh, and quit being lazy, and download my eBook.
It's going to make your life a lot better, and fast. You can download it in seconds, and be reading it and tons of other good stuff:
eBook Download
***QUESTION***
David,
I've never really had any problems getting numbers from girls. I have been using your guidelines even before I knew what they were. I always keep it short and to the point. No fancy pick-up lines just say "hi" get a little personal info, crack a
joke and bam I'm off, usually with a number in hand ( or in phone ). But lately I've been testing out a new strategy that has been getting very positive results. I wanted to see what your insights were and whether you had any additional advice on the subject.
The strategy is pretty simple, I just blow girls off. I start off acting very interested, ie.. getting a number or name, and then I let that marinade with them for as long as it takes for them to break down. Usually they keep pestering me to call them, hang out, whatever. I just keep acting like ( not telling them outright ) I will call or that we will go hang out "sometime". Being a college student, eventually I see these girls out on the weekend at a club, bar, party or any social gathering, and they are so excited that I'm finally in a place to hang out with them hooking up is almost too easy. Anyway. what do you think? Good? Bad? And what are the possible negative aspects of this strategy.
J.C.
Knoxville, TN
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The only possible "negative" aspects of this strategy are:
1) You might have to get a new phone number because you'll have so many women calling you.
2) You may need to move as well to avoid the stalkers.
You're on the right track BIG TIME here.
This is gold, pure and simple.
Now you're talking.
***QUESTION***
Dave - I recently met this lady and after a little chit chat she gave me her email. I sent her an email a couple days later which basically said that i would like to get to know her. She did not respond to the email, but two days later I saw her and she came to me and said thank you for the note. My question is whether or not she is worth pursuing?
L
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Not. Oh, and stop sending emails to women that say "I'd like to get to know you".
Be interesting.
Be fun.
Say crazy stuff.
Play.
Bust her chops.
ENERGY!
Have you been reading my newsletters?
Boring is BAD.
You sound boring to me.
Bad.
***SUCCESS STORY**
David,
I've been getting your newsletters for a few weeks now and I realized something. When I was younger I was very successful with women because I didn't care about a relationship. I'm 30 years old now and somewhere along the line I started behaving differently because I was looking for someone to settle down with. That is when I started having problems meeting women. By reading your newsletter, I made the connection as to why I was successful in the past. It had nothing to do with how I looked, but my attitude.
Last week I decided to put your methods to the test. There's this girl that had been flirting with me at a weekly gathering some of my friends attend. At the end of the night I made my move and she shot me down cold. When I asked what all the flirting had been about she said that it was all in good fun. The next week I started the cocky & funny routine. She pulled me outside, threw her arms around me and said, "Kiss me!" I blew her off and made some smart ass comment. She just stood there staring at me like she couldn't believe what had just happened. I just stared back and refused to break eye contact. Eventually, she looked away, slapped me on the arm and said, "You're bad!" Later on we made out on the balcony and then she asked what I thought.In a sarcastic tone, I said, "It was alright." She playfully punched me in the arm and I went inside and acted like nothing had happened between us. It was great to turn the tables on her. If I've started having success just by reading your newsletter, I can't wait to order your materials.
S, Oklahoma
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Gold star for you.
You get it. Your letter should be read by every living single man, period.
Thank you, and good night.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
I just got your Advanced Series in the email last week and I've been studying left and right for the past 7 days. It is thoroughly phenomenal!!! In my life, I've never heard such powerful techniques for attaining lifestyle success - this is a godsend to me! Thank You so much!!
Now, to the success...I went on a road trip yesterday to Indianapolis to visit a friend and stopped off at the shopping mall to pick up a few shirts. There was a smokin' black girl working in the store and I reallllly wanted to approach her so I say, "Excuse me, Fashion Goddess..." and hold up two shirts to compare, "...if you saw me at a party wearing one of these shirts, which one would you find me most attractive in?" "The green one", she replies. I say to her, "Well, I'll make sure not to get that one, then...see, I've been trying to avoid unstable women lately." Dave, this woman's jaw just drops to the floor - I broke right through her brat barrier in no time flat. So, we flirt for 10 minutes or so...and I TELL her - not asking her - to take her lunch break with me, because I'm hungry and I need someone to buy me lunch. Well, of course, she did and she bought me lunch after 10 minutes of flirting and ball busting. And, as a side note, she was 27 and seemed to be very experienced with guys and I JUST TURNED 21 this week - she knew this first hand and didn't even care...I made her feel attraction off the bat and, as you say, "No amount of logic (or age differences) could convince her otherwise". PHENOMENAL!!!!! I'll definitely get together with this bombshell next time I'm in town.
Thanks Dave, this stuff is absolutely changing my life!!! I can't wait for some of the new products!!!
Ciao! DF Bloomington, IN
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, another man that gets it.
You've pointed out a personal favorite little humor trick of mine...
Leading a girl to think that you're saying onething, then turning it completely around.
Another example:
You sit down to eat at a restaurant, and start talking to the cute waitress.
You start flirting with her. She flirts back a little bit.
Next, you ask her what she thinks the best thing is on the menu.
After she answers, you either say:
"Well, if your taste in food is even half as good as your taste in men, then it must be damn good."
or...
"Well, I just wanted to know what to avoid...so I'll make sure to NOT order that."
Good stuff.
Killer flirting material.
Thanks for your email... keep it up.
***QUESTION***
I have to admit your material is dead on the money. C & F works great, and your analysis of how the female mind works answers a lot of questions I've had.
While I am loath to admit it, I am a 22 y/o virgin. When girls find out about this they almost always ask why? Some girls have even gone as far as to change their minds about sleeping with me because I was a virgin. They claimed that they didn't want to risk giving me a bad first time, but I smell some BS there. I know girls read into everything, so what are they reading into the fact that I'm a virgin and is there any explanation I can give that won't have me looking like a loser?
Thanks D.S. Chicago
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Wow.
I really admire the fact that you're willing to reach out and ask for help.
Most guys are so caught up in themselves and their problems that they wind up suffering in silence... and, of course, are worse off because of it.
I'm going to give you an "outside the box" answer for your particular situation (even though it sounds like you've been doing quite a bit of "out of the box" thinking all by yourself... I know, I just couldn't help myself).
Here it is...
Don't talk about it.
Don't "explain" it in the first place.
Many problems in life are ILLUSIONS.
And yours is one of them.
Think of it this way...
Your dad, grandfather, great-grandfather, and so on, all the way back to the first humans figured out how to have sex for the first time.
It's not that big of a deal, man.
I recommend that you focus on learning how a woman's body works, how to get her turned on and keep her turned on, etc. rather than focusing on YOURSELF... which is what you're doing.
If you can make a woman feel incredible physical pleasure, she won't care if you're a virgin. In fact, she won't ask or even bring the topic up, because she'll be feeling so good that the thought will never cross her mind.
It is not your obligation as a person to inform the person you're about to sleep with that you've never had sex before... lol.
Great email...
***QUESTION***
I am recently divorced and am 32 years old. Haven't dated since I was 21. So I have just kind of thrown myself back out there. A friend of mine told me about you and this newsletter so I started reading it and am fascinated by your advice. I have always been the nice guy - ready with an honest compliment and holding the door etc. Its not an act - its just how I am. But I seem to be sensing a problem with this...
With my friends and gal pals I get the "you're too nice" comment all the time. I am still trying to figure out how you can be too nice. How can you be too much of a gentleman. Is this truly something that can kind of trip you up dating these days, if
you are like me. Thanks
DK - Denver, Colorado
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah yes, the big realization that "nice" isn't always "good".
I'm going to give you a piece of advice that could be PRICELESS to you.
Get my Advanced Dating Techniques program.
It will change your entire perspective of how the world works (at least when it comes to dating and relationships).
I guarantee beyond a shadow of a doubt that you will get TREMENDOUS benefit from it.
Why do I just recommend my program rather than giving you an explanation?
Because I can tell from your question that you need more than a short answer.
You need a new understanding of WHY "nice" doesn't attract women... and what to do instead.
I was a "nice" guy for a lot of years of my own life, and I honestly believed that I was doing the "right thing".
It only makes sense, right?
How could it POSSIBLY be true that ANYTHING other than "niceness" could lead to success with women?
Well guess what?
It IS true.
And if you don't take the time and make the investment in yourself to LEARN what you need to do, you're going to suffer a lot longer than you need to.
Trust me on this one.
If, for some reason, you can't afford my program at this point in your life, then stay tuned to these newsletters for hints. There are a lot of good ideas here.
But if you can afford it, get it.
Women don't feel those powerful, magical, GUT-LEVEL emotions for "nice" guys.
It may suck, it may not be "fair", and it may not be "right" or whatever.
Get used to it. It's reality.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hey Dave,
I attended your seminar a few months ago and have almost all of your materials (guys you've got to get the interview series, it'll blow you away, and is VERY affordable). I am finally starting to "get it." Here's an example: I recently met a girl online (she responded to my personal ad) and we got together a few evenings ago. She stayed the whole evening and after some verbal teasing (C&F) things progressed physically. Teasing her with smooth kissing & touching then pulling away really seemed to turn her on (2 steps forward 1 step back). Later, after making out, I playfully tried to kick her out of my apartment. I said things like "isn't it past your bedtime, I need to sleep, don't you have to work tomorrow, don't your cats need food," etc. Well she didn't leave until 8 the next morning :) and even then she didn't want to leave, but had to go to work. We've exchanged several emails since, in which I've really busted her balls, she remains very interested and we're meeting again soon. I learned a few things here. Not only did proper use of the C&F and 2 steps forward, 1 step back concepts build sexual tension & anticipation, but trying to get rid of her (playfully), as counter-intuitive as it may seem, actually drew her closer. I realized that in general, being willing to walk away is so powerful because it shows you're confident and not needy, in control of yourself (and your hormones), and instantly makes you a challenge she must work for, all of which makes her want you more, not less. This worked especially well because I had set up the relationship properly first (i.e. created ATTRACTION). This definitely shows a big improvement in my "game." Keep the great materials coming!
N. from Salt Lake City (yeah you know me)
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What can I say? You're the man...
It's clear to me that you've gotten to the point where you can UNDERSTAND what is going on... and you've reached the point where you can actually control yourself (and those hormones).
Nice!
Now, QUIT EXCHANGING "A FEW EMAILS" so fast!
Give her room to miss you and think about you.
Give her at LEAST a day or two off here and there to think about you... but not hear from you.
If you do not, you'll feel the tide begin to shift, her interest begin to fade, and you'll be wondering what happened.
Now keep up the great work!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dear David:
I have been receiving your emails for a few weeks now, and wanted to pass along a success story of my own.
I heard something on the radio few weeks ago that grabbed my attention. The caller said that he just walks up to women he sees, and asks them for their bra or panties or both. (He only tells them that he collects them.) Well, after reading your emails, I thought this was a great C&F thing to try. I went out last Saturday night, and I saw an attractive woman and told her that I was collecting women's underwear, and that I wanted hers. After the shock wore off, she got up and went into the bathroom. When she came out, she handed me her panties and said, " I swear to God, if you sniff these, I'll kick your ass." Well, I couldn't resist. I turned around and stuck out my butt. She smacked it, and then I sniffed her panties! Again, she was so shocked she just stood there looking at me with her mouth open. Well, to make a long story short, when I left a few minutes later, she was giving me her number without my even asking for it!!! I would never have thought of doing something like this before reading your emails, let alone actually doing it. You've changed my life. Thank you
B. B. Casper, WY
>>>MY COMMENTS:
I don't know what to say to this one, except for "I had to include this one".
Guys, try this one at your own risk...
But it makes for some damn good reading.
Maybe it's something in the water there in Casper, Wyoming...
***QUESTION***
Hey Dave,
Great stuff. I got your e-book a while back, and it has totally changed my attitude and approach towards women. It's helped me tremendously in meeting and talking to them. I can't wait to get your advanced series. My dilemma is is that I'm only 5-2, I weigh 120 lbs., and I'm balding, to top it off (pardon the pun). I know from experience that most females will pretty much have nothing to do with a guy as short as I am. On the rare occasion, when I can meet someone who isn't so worried about height, I have no problem being c & f and making them laugh. But even they seem to not take me so seriously. I even tried my luck online, but again, it's the rare female that responds to me. Credit to those who do, they usually are a ton of fun to talk to, and could care less how tall a guy is. Any recommendations (short of platform shoes or stilts) on different approaches I could use to change my luck with them, and make them realize that personality's more important than height?
T in FLA
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Yeah, my recommendation is that you stop thinking that you have a "dilemma".
You have what you have.
Calling it a dilemma, thinking of your size as a problem, and trying to figure out "tricks" or techniques to deal with your "problems" isn't the answer.
Do this:
Boldly approach every woman you're interested in as if you're the greatest opportunity she will ever have.
Learn how to overcome your own issues with yourself.
Stop talking about "luck" as if it's the reason why you're unsuccessful with women.
Approach each new woman with an open mind, and realize that every one is different.
Most importantly...
If you are rejected, shut down, criticized, put down, laughed at, or whatever is the WORST thing you can think of, GET OVER IT.
You'll get in a car every day without thinking about it, and drive down a road at 60 miles per hour, NEARLY MISSING every single car that goes by in the other lane...literally taking your LIFE into your hands... with NO FEAR... but you're allowing your concept of how women are biased against you IMMOBILIZE you.
Stop that!
Your whole "I know from experience that woman won't have anything to do with a guy that's as short as I am" thing is BS!
I have a friend who's about 5'4" or so who is ALWAYS surrounded by hot women.
In fact, a DIFFERENT friend of mine who's also shorter dates some of the most beautiful women in the world.
Your limitation is in your mind.
Sure, women PREFER taller guys ON AVERAGE.
But your limiting belief sucks. Get rid of it.
***QUESTION***
Hey D, I'm a 20 year old guy, i work in a grocery store and am attending college. I read your newsletters but haven't gotten around to buying your book yet. Anyway, here it is, I use your C&F techniques with women that i meet, get their numbers and email, etc. but when we go out, not like a date, just to the clubs, or parties, or whatever. Most of the time even though i was the one who did everything, the girls always seemed to be more interested in my friends than in me. I don't act to needy or clingy or wuss like (i once was, but after reading some of your newsletters i realized i was being more of an ass than anything). anyway, can you help me out here?
later.
T in elba
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well what are you doing, man?
You get a woman's email and number, then call her, then get a date with her... then take her to A PARTY?
Or even WORSE, a CLUB?
Duh.
The whole idea of getting a girl's email and number is so you can spend more time ALONE with her.
If you want to hang out with women at clubs, DON'T TAKE YOUR DATE, dumbass.
Are you familiar with the concept of not taking sand to the beach?
Here's my recommendation:
When you're arranging your first date with a girl, tell her to come to your house, and that you'll go to coffee or tea with her from there.
Then, when you're finished with your beverages, tell her that you want to show her your new Spiderman comic books.
ANYTHING is better than taking a girl to a party, dude.
Stop it!
Oh, and quit being lazy, and download my eBook.
It's going to make your life a lot better, and fast. You can download it in seconds, and be reading it and tons of other good stuff:
eBook Download
***QUESTION***
David,
I've never really had any problems getting numbers from girls. I have been using your guidelines even before I knew what they were. I always keep it short and to the point. No fancy pick-up lines just say "hi" get a little personal info, crack a
joke and bam I'm off, usually with a number in hand ( or in phone ). But lately I've been testing out a new strategy that has been getting very positive results. I wanted to see what your insights were and whether you had any additional advice on the subject.
The strategy is pretty simple, I just blow girls off. I start off acting very interested, ie.. getting a number or name, and then I let that marinade with them for as long as it takes for them to break down. Usually they keep pestering me to call them, hang out, whatever. I just keep acting like ( not telling them outright ) I will call or that we will go hang out "sometime". Being a college student, eventually I see these girls out on the weekend at a club, bar, party or any social gathering, and they are so excited that I'm finally in a place to hang out with them hooking up is almost too easy. Anyway. what do you think? Good? Bad? And what are the possible negative aspects of this strategy.
J.C.
Knoxville, TN
>>>MY COMMENTS:
The only possible "negative" aspects of this strategy are:
1) You might have to get a new phone number because you'll have so many women calling you.
2) You may need to move as well to avoid the stalkers.
You're on the right track BIG TIME here.
This is gold, pure and simple.
Now you're talking.
***QUESTION***
Dave - I recently met this lady and after a little chit chat she gave me her email. I sent her an email a couple days later which basically said that i would like to get to know her. She did not respond to the email, but two days later I saw her and she came to me and said thank you for the note. My question is whether or not she is worth pursuing?
L
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Not. Oh, and stop sending emails to women that say "I'd like to get to know you".
Be interesting.
Be fun.
Say crazy stuff.
Play.
Bust her chops.
ENERGY!
Have you been reading my newsletters?
Boring is BAD.
You sound boring to me.
Bad.
***SUCCESS STORY**
David,
I've been getting your newsletters for a few weeks now and I realized something. When I was younger I was very successful with women because I didn't care about a relationship. I'm 30 years old now and somewhere along the line I started behaving differently because I was looking for someone to settle down with. That is when I started having problems meeting women. By reading your newsletter, I made the connection as to why I was successful in the past. It had nothing to do with how I looked, but my attitude.
Last week I decided to put your methods to the test. There's this girl that had been flirting with me at a weekly gathering some of my friends attend. At the end of the night I made my move and she shot me down cold. When I asked what all the flirting had been about she said that it was all in good fun. The next week I started the cocky & funny routine. She pulled me outside, threw her arms around me and said, "Kiss me!" I blew her off and made some smart ass comment. She just stood there staring at me like she couldn't believe what had just happened. I just stared back and refused to break eye contact. Eventually, she looked away, slapped me on the arm and said, "You're bad!" Later on we made out on the balcony and then she asked what I thought.In a sarcastic tone, I said, "It was alright." She playfully punched me in the arm and I went inside and acted like nothing had happened between us. It was great to turn the tables on her. If I've started having success just by reading your newsletter, I can't wait to order your materials.
S, Oklahoma
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Gold star for you.
You get it. Your letter should be read by every living single man, period.
Thank you, and good night.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
I just got your Advanced Series in the email last week and I've been studying left and right for the past 7 days. It is thoroughly phenomenal!!! In my life, I've never heard such powerful techniques for attaining lifestyle success - this is a godsend to me! Thank You so much!!
Now, to the success...I went on a road trip yesterday to Indianapolis to visit a friend and stopped off at the shopping mall to pick up a few shirts. There was a smokin' black girl working in the store and I reallllly wanted to approach her so I say, "Excuse me, Fashion Goddess..." and hold up two shirts to compare, "...if you saw me at a party wearing one of these shirts, which one would you find me most attractive in?" "The green one", she replies. I say to her, "Well, I'll make sure not to get that one, then...see, I've been trying to avoid unstable women lately." Dave, this woman's jaw just drops to the floor - I broke right through her brat barrier in no time flat. So, we flirt for 10 minutes or so...and I TELL her - not asking her - to take her lunch break with me, because I'm hungry and I need someone to buy me lunch. Well, of course, she did and she bought me lunch after 10 minutes of flirting and ball busting. And, as a side note, she was 27 and seemed to be very experienced with guys and I JUST TURNED 21 this week - she knew this first hand and didn't even care...I made her feel attraction off the bat and, as you say, "No amount of logic (or age differences) could convince her otherwise". PHENOMENAL!!!!! I'll definitely get together with this bombshell next time I'm in town.
Thanks Dave, this stuff is absolutely changing my life!!! I can't wait for some of the new products!!!
Ciao! DF Bloomington, IN
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Ah, another man that gets it.
You've pointed out a personal favorite little humor trick of mine...
Leading a girl to think that you're saying onething, then turning it completely around.
Another example:
You sit down to eat at a restaurant, and start talking to the cute waitress.
You start flirting with her. She flirts back a little bit.
Next, you ask her what she thinks the best thing is on the menu.
After she answers, you either say:
"Well, if your taste in food is even half as good as your taste in men, then it must be damn good."
or...
"Well, I just wanted to know what to avoid...so I'll make sure to NOT order that."
Good stuff.
Killer flirting material.
Thanks for your email... keep it up.
Saturday, September 9, 2006
What Do You Say... Bitchshield or Just Shy?
Ok guys, I might start something new here at Attraction Chronicles.
This is a trial but I'll see if we can't get some conversation going, and get you guys to GIVE answers to fellow Chronicles readers who may be less experienced. Simply post a comment below!
Question:
"I used to think some hot girls had this huge BITCHSHIELD, although I've noticed lately that alot of the women I like, are just naturally quieter, and shy (than most other hot girls, but still have killer personalities, and lives). What is the quickest and most effective way to get them to open up, and start building comfort and rapport with me?
D
This is a trial but I'll see if we can't get some conversation going, and get you guys to GIVE answers to fellow Chronicles readers who may be less experienced. Simply post a comment below!
Question:
"I used to think some hot girls had this huge BITCHSHIELD, although I've noticed lately that alot of the women I like, are just naturally quieter, and shy (than most other hot girls, but still have killer personalities, and lives). What is the quickest and most effective way to get them to open up, and start building comfort and rapport with me?
D
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
Maximum Edge Seminar
I just got this notice from Stephen Nash of Cutting Edge Image Consulting. This seminar will truly be value for money. I've personally witnessed Stephen's smooth style, and highly recommend his products.
Wanted to give you a heads up that seminar space for the end of the month is quickly filling-up. I got a number of sign-ups over the holiday, so the event is now nearly sold-out. I encourage you to get on the list asap.
We are VERY excited to offer this BRAND NEW program entitled the "Maximum Edge Seminar", to be held in NYC on Sat. September 30 & Sun. October 1. In it we cover everything you need to know to MASTER your social skills so that you can meet women and date on your terms, while also maximizing your lifestyle, and personal style so that you are always at your most attractive...if you are looking for balanced and healthy relationships, this program is critical to your future success.
If you'd like to hear some audio of me discussing the seminar, and sign-up now, go here:
http://www.ceimageconsulting.com/seminars.php
What follows is a mere sampling of what will be taught at this seminar:
* Learn our ground-breaking 3-point plan that gives you the power when meeting new women;
* We disclose the secret art of "hooking" so that women never walk away from you again;
* How to bait ANY woman into a conversation so that within minutes she is dying to know YOU;
* We go over the subtleties of female psychology and why it is absolutely necessary to do THREE key things when meeting any new woman...do you know what they are?;
* We will guide you through a step-by-step process to build a look that empowers you. Look forward to feeling confident about what you wear each and every day;
* We help each student understand the BEST places to go where they can meet women with the greatest probability of success. Certain venues are better for some than for others - let's find a plan that works for YOU;
* Learn which conversational topics are fascinating to women. Never be boring again;
* We will guide you through a step-by-step exercise which will help you get your life on track, and moving forward towards an attractive, autonomous lifestyle. This is the ultimate way to be attractive, and to feel like a man;
* We provide a clear definition of relationships, and why some work and some don't. We give you clear-cut ways to improve all of your relationships TODAY;
* There are three different ways to engage women in conversation when you are socializing. These three are based on the three different environments that exist socially. Do you know what they are? We teach you on Day I of the program;
* We explain the importance of lifestyle, and why it is critical to live fully and have fun. This is essential to your success with women. Curious why?
* We teach you the FASTEST way to begin conversations in ANY environment;
* We outline the aspects of a successful mindset, and we then lead you through a clear and concise exercise to attain that attitude for yourself;
* We teach you how to flirt, tease, and tell stories which build fascination and intrigue. This is precisely how you will never feel lost for words when relating to women;
* We instantly improve your body language and tonality with simple, clear advice never heard anywhere before;
* We give you a SIMPLE way to ALWAYS be relaxed and comfortable before approaching and engaging women in conversation;
* Get women chasing you by being a challenge and by playing hard to get - you may have heard other ways to create this dynamic. Throw them all away - this one is solid, and empowers you to be the prize;
* We give you precise things to say, and then teach you how to drop all scripted lines and be truly spontaneous;
* Learn priceless leadership secrets that you CANNOT LEARN ANYWHERE ELSE - these will lead you to the promised land with beautiful women;
* Learn the secret to building a FAST and GENUINE emotional connection;
* We will give you three different dating scenarios which most guys follow - there is one, and only one, which is nearly a guarantee for success - which one do you follow now? How can you change your strategy for dating to increase your success?;
* We give you a solid blueprint on how to live with PASSION and bring other people into your life - become the magnet of your social circle;
* We reveal deep insights into female psychology that women don't want you to know;
* We will help you create a profile for the woman you truly desire, and help you develop a PLAN for meeting her and bringing her into your life. It is critical that you know what you are looking for in a woman, and we will reveal this to you on Day II of the program;
* Critical elements in creating an interesting and magnetic lifestyle - have people coming to you from now on;
* We speak at length about connections, and intimacy - topics that are baffling to men, and we describe them in detail, giving you a solid framework to create more of both in your life.
Again, below is the link you need to sign-up today and insure seating at the "Maximum Edge" seminar at the end of the month. We look forward to working with you!
http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/ceimageconsulting
Best,
Stephen Nash
Wanted to give you a heads up that seminar space for the end of the month is quickly filling-up. I got a number of sign-ups over the holiday, so the event is now nearly sold-out. I encourage you to get on the list asap.
We are VERY excited to offer this BRAND NEW program entitled the "Maximum Edge Seminar", to be held in NYC on Sat. September 30 & Sun. October 1. In it we cover everything you need to know to MASTER your social skills so that you can meet women and date on your terms, while also maximizing your lifestyle, and personal style so that you are always at your most attractive...if you are looking for balanced and healthy relationships, this program is critical to your future success.
If you'd like to hear some audio of me discussing the seminar, and sign-up now, go here:
http://www.ceimageconsulting.com/seminars.php
What follows is a mere sampling of what will be taught at this seminar:
* Learn our ground-breaking 3-point plan that gives you the power when meeting new women;
* We disclose the secret art of "hooking" so that women never walk away from you again;
* How to bait ANY woman into a conversation so that within minutes she is dying to know YOU;
* We go over the subtleties of female psychology and why it is absolutely necessary to do THREE key things when meeting any new woman...do you know what they are?;
* We will guide you through a step-by-step process to build a look that empowers you. Look forward to feeling confident about what you wear each and every day;
* We help each student understand the BEST places to go where they can meet women with the greatest probability of success. Certain venues are better for some than for others - let's find a plan that works for YOU;
* Learn which conversational topics are fascinating to women. Never be boring again;
* We will guide you through a step-by-step exercise which will help you get your life on track, and moving forward towards an attractive, autonomous lifestyle. This is the ultimate way to be attractive, and to feel like a man;
* We provide a clear definition of relationships, and why some work and some don't. We give you clear-cut ways to improve all of your relationships TODAY;
* There are three different ways to engage women in conversation when you are socializing. These three are based on the three different environments that exist socially. Do you know what they are? We teach you on Day I of the program;
* We explain the importance of lifestyle, and why it is critical to live fully and have fun. This is essential to your success with women. Curious why?
* We teach you the FASTEST way to begin conversations in ANY environment;
* We outline the aspects of a successful mindset, and we then lead you through a clear and concise exercise to attain that attitude for yourself;
* We teach you how to flirt, tease, and tell stories which build fascination and intrigue. This is precisely how you will never feel lost for words when relating to women;
* We instantly improve your body language and tonality with simple, clear advice never heard anywhere before;
* We give you a SIMPLE way to ALWAYS be relaxed and comfortable before approaching and engaging women in conversation;
* Get women chasing you by being a challenge and by playing hard to get - you may have heard other ways to create this dynamic. Throw them all away - this one is solid, and empowers you to be the prize;
* We give you precise things to say, and then teach you how to drop all scripted lines and be truly spontaneous;
* Learn priceless leadership secrets that you CANNOT LEARN ANYWHERE ELSE - these will lead you to the promised land with beautiful women;
* Learn the secret to building a FAST and GENUINE emotional connection;
* We will give you three different dating scenarios which most guys follow - there is one, and only one, which is nearly a guarantee for success - which one do you follow now? How can you change your strategy for dating to increase your success?;
* We give you a solid blueprint on how to live with PASSION and bring other people into your life - become the magnet of your social circle;
* We reveal deep insights into female psychology that women don't want you to know;
* We will help you create a profile for the woman you truly desire, and help you develop a PLAN for meeting her and bringing her into your life. It is critical that you know what you are looking for in a woman, and we will reveal this to you on Day II of the program;
* Critical elements in creating an interesting and magnetic lifestyle - have people coming to you from now on;
* We speak at length about connections, and intimacy - topics that are baffling to men, and we describe them in detail, giving you a solid framework to create more of both in your life.
Again, below is the link you need to sign-up today and insure seating at the "Maximum Edge" seminar at the end of the month. We look forward to working with you!
http://www.seduction-chronicles.net/ceimageconsulting
Best,
Stephen Nash
Monday, September 4, 2006
Three "Big Mistakes" Guys Make On Dates
I enjoyed this email from David. Helps put some certain things in perspective.
QUESTION FROM A READER:
Hello, I am reading your book now and it's great, the cocky guy thing is working 100%. I actually got 5 #'s in 4 days! WOW :) Thanks! My Q is, I met a girl online, she gave me her #, I called her we met, got dinner, drinks, then made out! Cool stuff! She says she is having the greatest time, blah blah blah. When I kissed her, and made out a little, she then says, slow down its the first date. I felt bad for going on so fast. So I said sorry. When we went home (2 different directions) everything was cool, (looked like it at least) I said, "ok, thanks, great time blah blah" the i said "You want me to call u or u gonna call me?" She goes "I'll call u, u call me its all good" SO it ended good, (i think) NOW, Should I CALL HER the next day or not?
Thanks,
K.
P.S. she wants to go out to a different town with me for the weekend to have fun. HOW DO I ACT SO I DONT LOOK LIKE A WUSS AND EASY TO GET GUY!??!?!?
MY COMMENTS:
OK, well ready yourself.
I'm about to do some of my "David D. Quack-Psycho-Analysis" on you. Emphasis on the Psycho.
In a one paragraph email, you managed to tell me about a MINIMUM of three major mistakes that you made with this particular girl. If I really thought about it, I could probably find another few in there as well.
So hug your inner child and tell him that everything is going to be OK before I verbally abuse him...
Here are the three mistakes that I noticed right off the bat:
1) Making out with her somewhere other than at your house (or her house).
2) Apologizing for making out with her.
3) Asking her if you should call her, of if she should call you.
I'll address each one in a minute in detail, but first let me start off with some of my Quack theories.
One of the things I say a lot is "Women Aren't Attracted To Wussies".
I say this because:
1) It's true.
2) If you don't understand this principle, you're likely to make mistakes that clearly "telegraph" to a woman that you're a Wuss.
3) When it all comes down, if a woman doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you, or you somehow manage to screw up and KILL the ATTRACTION she's feeling... you're done. Game over.
I think that most of us guys have these little secret beliefs that we hide from the rest of the world... and that we TRY to hide from women.
I was having an interesting discussion with a good friend today, and we were talking about how most guys act when they're around an "attractive" woman.
Most guys do one of the following:
- Give attractive women a lot of compliments immediately.
- Kiss up to attractive women.
- Try to get attractive women to like them by buying them gifts, dinners and flowers.
- Chase after attractive women and let it be known that the woman is "a prize worth pursuing" right from the beginning.
- Hand over all of their power and status to attractive women.
Know what I'm talking about?
Have you ever seen a guy at dinner with a beautiful woman... and he's obviously nervous about the whole situation... and you can tell that he's doing everything he can to NOT screw up so he can get the woman's approval?
Have you ever BEEN THAT GUY?
Yeah, me too. A lot.
Well, unfortunately, this kind of behavior usually BACKFIRES BIG TIME.
All of the little things that most guys do to get a woman's approval send a clear message to the woman that:
"I'M A WUSSY. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM, SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO RESORT TO EXTREME MEASURES TO GET YOU TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME."
Now that I understand this particular aspect of male/female interactions, I can see the horrible results all around me.
At bars I watch guys walking up to women and giving compliments... or offering to buy drinks... and the women smiling politely thinking, "Oh, another loser", and excusing themselves...
I see men at dinner with their dates... DESPERATELY trying to get the women they're with to show any sign of interest... but the women only become colder and less interested... And I know that the women are only getting ANNOYED at this behavior...
I read personal ads in the paper and online from men who are saying "Hey, pick me! I'm a great guy! No, really!"... and I know that the women reading these ads are saying to themselves "Yeah, loser"... and the guys are getting little or no
response...
I think you get the picture.
The point I'm making is that when you do things like asking her if she wants you to call her or if she wants to call you... and apologizing for making out with her, you are making the same basic mistake.
Why would you apologize for making out with a woman?
I mean, think about it.
You're not REALLY sorry... otherwise you would not have done it in the first place. Duh.
You were actually LYING when you said you were sorry. You were only sorry that she didn't want to continue, man.
When you said, "I'm sorry", what she HEARD was "Uh oh, I just screwed up. I'd better say something quick to fix this. I will put aside my own wants and desires, and say whatever you want to hear in hopes that you'll like me and give me
attention and approval".
Really.
It's actually even WORSE than that.
The reality of this situation is that when you apologized, you created a POWER SHIFT.
The power shifted from YOU to HER.
You felt it, and she felt it.
I guarantee that in the few seconds after you said "I'm sorry", you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach and knew something was wrong. But I ALSO guarantee that she felt a little SURGE of power AT THAT VERY MOMENT.
At the same moment you were realizing that you just did something wrong, she was realizing that she OWNED YOU.
Unfortunately, she probably also felt a little bit of disappointment in you, because you were apologizing for something just to get her approval... and women don't WANT to own men.
Heavy man, heavy.
And the SAME thing happened in the moment that you asked her if she wanted you to call her or if she wanted to call you (but probably to a lesser degree).
That's one of those little moments where you basically said "Here, take the power. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. You get to make the decisions. Please tell me that you want me to call you, because that will affirm that you like me".
Keep this up, and you'll probably wind up a boyfriend who she eventually cheats on... or, even worse, a boyfriend who she eventually marries and then divorces because you turned into a boring Wussy husband from hell.
So, my general advice to you is:
STOP IT!
Stop doing things that let her know that she OWNS you.
One of the best things you can do is learn to PAUSE before you respond to ANYTHING that makes you feel an "Emotional Wussy Rush".
If she says something that indicates that she's not happy with you or your behavior, PAUSE.
Don't respond. Stay still. Keep the mouth shut and the brain operating.
If you have to, run everything through your mental "Wussy Analyzer".
Decide if the response you're going to give her is to get her approval, and if it is, STOP.
Don't do things that hand over the power in the relationship. Don't let the things a woman says shake you emotionally.
Finally, I want to address your mistake of making out with her somewhere other than in your house or her house.
I'm sure the reason is obvious, right?
One of the best things I've learned is that if you LEAN BACK when you're out on a date with a girl, and don't try to "make your move" early on, you'll do MUCH better later.
You mentioned that you're reading my eBook right now... and it sounds like you're actually doing pretty well. If you've gotten five women's numbers in four days, I think you're going to live... lol.
Pay close attention, because in my eBook I share some KILLER techniques for making
it completely "natural" for a woman to come back to your place, come inside, etc. and the exact steps to take, to take things to a "physical level" once you're there.
Most guys totally screw this part up.
They go to all the trouble to approach a woman, get her number, call her, get a date, go on the date, pay for the date, spend all that time... and then have NO IDEA what to do next.
The reality is that if you just KNOW WHAT TO DO, and you've prepared in advance, you can easily take things to the next level... and give her an experience that will make her DEFINITELY call you back for another date.
Make sure you read the bonus booklets that came with Double Your Dating... especially "Bridges" and "Sex Secrets". Those will teach you how to smoothly transition from one step to the next, and how to get a woman sexually aroused (a skill that almost NO men have).
...and if you're reading this right now and you would like to learn the secrets of how to get a woman to come home with you and WANT to come inside with you after a date... and the exact steps to take once you're there to make sure that you DON'T get a response like this guy... then you need to check out my eBook and my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
I have spent the last several years of my life learning from guys who are AMAZING with women, and figuring out all kinds of simple, easy-to-use techniques just like the ones I've mentioned for getting a woman to come home with you, getting a woman "turned on", and taking things to a "physical level" in a way that she'll enjoy. In my eBook I share dozens of these ideas.
You can download it right now, and be reading it in a few minutes... Just go here.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
QUESTION FROM A READER:
Hello, I am reading your book now and it's great, the cocky guy thing is working 100%. I actually got 5 #'s in 4 days! WOW :) Thanks! My Q is, I met a girl online, she gave me her #, I called her we met, got dinner, drinks, then made out! Cool stuff! She says she is having the greatest time, blah blah blah. When I kissed her, and made out a little, she then says, slow down its the first date. I felt bad for going on so fast. So I said sorry. When we went home (2 different directions) everything was cool, (looked like it at least) I said, "ok, thanks, great time blah blah" the i said "You want me to call u or u gonna call me?" She goes "I'll call u, u call me its all good" SO it ended good, (i think) NOW, Should I CALL HER the next day or not?
Thanks,
K.
P.S. she wants to go out to a different town with me for the weekend to have fun. HOW DO I ACT SO I DONT LOOK LIKE A WUSS AND EASY TO GET GUY!??!?!?
MY COMMENTS:
OK, well ready yourself.
I'm about to do some of my "David D. Quack-Psycho-Analysis" on you. Emphasis on the Psycho.
In a one paragraph email, you managed to tell me about a MINIMUM of three major mistakes that you made with this particular girl. If I really thought about it, I could probably find another few in there as well.
So hug your inner child and tell him that everything is going to be OK before I verbally abuse him...
Here are the three mistakes that I noticed right off the bat:
1) Making out with her somewhere other than at your house (or her house).
2) Apologizing for making out with her.
3) Asking her if you should call her, of if she should call you.
I'll address each one in a minute in detail, but first let me start off with some of my Quack theories.
One of the things I say a lot is "Women Aren't Attracted To Wussies".
I say this because:
1) It's true.
2) If you don't understand this principle, you're likely to make mistakes that clearly "telegraph" to a woman that you're a Wuss.
3) When it all comes down, if a woman doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you, or you somehow manage to screw up and KILL the ATTRACTION she's feeling... you're done. Game over.
I think that most of us guys have these little secret beliefs that we hide from the rest of the world... and that we TRY to hide from women.
I was having an interesting discussion with a good friend today, and we were talking about how most guys act when they're around an "attractive" woman.
Most guys do one of the following:
- Give attractive women a lot of compliments immediately.
- Kiss up to attractive women.
- Try to get attractive women to like them by buying them gifts, dinners and flowers.
- Chase after attractive women and let it be known that the woman is "a prize worth pursuing" right from the beginning.
- Hand over all of their power and status to attractive women.
Know what I'm talking about?
Have you ever seen a guy at dinner with a beautiful woman... and he's obviously nervous about the whole situation... and you can tell that he's doing everything he can to NOT screw up so he can get the woman's approval?
Have you ever BEEN THAT GUY?
Yeah, me too. A lot.
Well, unfortunately, this kind of behavior usually BACKFIRES BIG TIME.
All of the little things that most guys do to get a woman's approval send a clear message to the woman that:
"I'M A WUSSY. I DO NOT BELIEVE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE ME FOR WHO I AM, SO I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO RESORT TO EXTREME MEASURES TO GET YOU TO PAY ATTENTION TO ME."
Now that I understand this particular aspect of male/female interactions, I can see the horrible results all around me.
At bars I watch guys walking up to women and giving compliments... or offering to buy drinks... and the women smiling politely thinking, "Oh, another loser", and excusing themselves...
I see men at dinner with their dates... DESPERATELY trying to get the women they're with to show any sign of interest... but the women only become colder and less interested... And I know that the women are only getting ANNOYED at this behavior...
I read personal ads in the paper and online from men who are saying "Hey, pick me! I'm a great guy! No, really!"... and I know that the women reading these ads are saying to themselves "Yeah, loser"... and the guys are getting little or no
response...
I think you get the picture.
The point I'm making is that when you do things like asking her if she wants you to call her or if she wants to call you... and apologizing for making out with her, you are making the same basic mistake.
Why would you apologize for making out with a woman?
I mean, think about it.
You're not REALLY sorry... otherwise you would not have done it in the first place. Duh.
You were actually LYING when you said you were sorry. You were only sorry that she didn't want to continue, man.
When you said, "I'm sorry", what she HEARD was "Uh oh, I just screwed up. I'd better say something quick to fix this. I will put aside my own wants and desires, and say whatever you want to hear in hopes that you'll like me and give me
attention and approval".
Really.
It's actually even WORSE than that.
The reality of this situation is that when you apologized, you created a POWER SHIFT.
The power shifted from YOU to HER.
You felt it, and she felt it.
I guarantee that in the few seconds after you said "I'm sorry", you felt a sinking feeling in your stomach and knew something was wrong. But I ALSO guarantee that she felt a little SURGE of power AT THAT VERY MOMENT.
At the same moment you were realizing that you just did something wrong, she was realizing that she OWNED YOU.
Unfortunately, she probably also felt a little bit of disappointment in you, because you were apologizing for something just to get her approval... and women don't WANT to own men.
Heavy man, heavy.
And the SAME thing happened in the moment that you asked her if she wanted you to call her or if she wanted to call you (but probably to a lesser degree).
That's one of those little moments where you basically said "Here, take the power. Tell me what you want me to do, and I'll do it. You get to make the decisions. Please tell me that you want me to call you, because that will affirm that you like me".
Keep this up, and you'll probably wind up a boyfriend who she eventually cheats on... or, even worse, a boyfriend who she eventually marries and then divorces because you turned into a boring Wussy husband from hell.
So, my general advice to you is:
STOP IT!
Stop doing things that let her know that she OWNS you.
One of the best things you can do is learn to PAUSE before you respond to ANYTHING that makes you feel an "Emotional Wussy Rush".
If she says something that indicates that she's not happy with you or your behavior, PAUSE.
Don't respond. Stay still. Keep the mouth shut and the brain operating.
If you have to, run everything through your mental "Wussy Analyzer".
Decide if the response you're going to give her is to get her approval, and if it is, STOP.
Don't do things that hand over the power in the relationship. Don't let the things a woman says shake you emotionally.
Finally, I want to address your mistake of making out with her somewhere other than in your house or her house.
I'm sure the reason is obvious, right?
One of the best things I've learned is that if you LEAN BACK when you're out on a date with a girl, and don't try to "make your move" early on, you'll do MUCH better later.
You mentioned that you're reading my eBook right now... and it sounds like you're actually doing pretty well. If you've gotten five women's numbers in four days, I think you're going to live... lol.
Pay close attention, because in my eBook I share some KILLER techniques for making
it completely "natural" for a woman to come back to your place, come inside, etc. and the exact steps to take, to take things to a "physical level" once you're there.
Most guys totally screw this part up.
They go to all the trouble to approach a woman, get her number, call her, get a date, go on the date, pay for the date, spend all that time... and then have NO IDEA what to do next.
The reality is that if you just KNOW WHAT TO DO, and you've prepared in advance, you can easily take things to the next level... and give her an experience that will make her DEFINITELY call you back for another date.
Make sure you read the bonus booklets that came with Double Your Dating... especially "Bridges" and "Sex Secrets". Those will teach you how to smoothly transition from one step to the next, and how to get a woman sexually aroused (a skill that almost NO men have).
...and if you're reading this right now and you would like to learn the secrets of how to get a woman to come home with you and WANT to come inside with you after a date... and the exact steps to take once you're there to make sure that you DON'T get a response like this guy... then you need to check out my eBook and my Advanced Dating Techniques CD/DVD program.
I have spent the last several years of my life learning from guys who are AMAZING with women, and figuring out all kinds of simple, easy-to-use techniques just like the ones I've mentioned for getting a woman to come home with you, getting a woman "turned on", and taking things to a "physical level" in a way that she'll enjoy. In my eBook I share dozens of these ideas.
You can download it right now, and be reading it in a few minutes... Just go here.
I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.
Friday, September 1, 2006
Dave Levine (Seduction Masters Interview)
This summary is not available. Please
click here to view the post.
The Sincere Compliment - Direct At Its Easiest
Hey guys! We've been so busy running killer workshops at PickUp 101 in SF and NYC that I almost forgot to share the love here on The Attraction Chronicles.
But just in time for the long holiday weekend here in the U.S., here's an article that gives you all the tools you need to talk to any cute girl you see, and make a great, powerful, sexy first impression.
And you know that attraction happens right away, or not at all, so that first impression matter most.
Have fun!
The words used for an opener are not as important as the intent, the energy, and the commitment you bring to it.
That said, I do like to think I have one absolute fall-back every time 100% effective opener. This is something that anyone can use, anytime, any skill level, any environment. For instance, if you are any of the following:
Seriously. Any one. Any time. Any where. I challenge you to come up with a scenario where this will not open.
I think of this as three yards and a cloud of dust. It's not the flashy aerial attack, and you may never break free and take it straight to the house with this one, but you'll always gain positive yardage.
So what is the secret? Simple. Give her an honest compliment. But there are some nuances to be aware of. Here are the exact words I open with.
"I know this is kind of random, but I had to tell you that you are just too cute."
Now here is what I think makes this work. First, I walk up confident but not cocky. I am not fucking around here, and I am not saying this to get attention. This isn't a joke or a put on and she's not on Punk'd. I'm doing this as a gift from me to her.
I take the frame that she is lovely to look at (for whatever reason -- you needn't save this for the scorching hotties -- any woman who catches your eye for any reason is deserving of a compliment).
Ben/Orion said in a DYD interview that his frame in opening is to make a woman smile, and that always struck me as a wonderful general philosophy. Yes, you want to give her the opportunity for so much more than that, but if you know in your heart that you have the ability to make pretty girls smile at any time, that you really do believe that everything she does is cute, then why would you ever be afraid to talk to her?
Would you not then know that you do have a power to use for good?
Do you not understand how much people, and women in particular, need, crave, and pine for real appreciation?
When you approach a woman and tell her there is something special about her that you can't help but see, you create a world where only the two of you exist, a world she gets to visit far too rarely.
Here's something else to keep in mind. I've read other approaches similar to this which take the same idea, but leave it a little more open to interpretation. I think it is critical that the compliment itself be as subtle and as nourishing as possible, and it has to be about HER, not about her clothes, or stuff.
I've tested this with telling a woman that she is gorgeous, or lovely, or stunning, but I've never found anything that gets as consistently positive and comfortable responses as the word "cute." I think there's some deep psychology and subtle social cue stuff at work here.
If you tell a woman you do not know how beautiful she is, she takes that compliment as an offering to her altar. She may appreciate it, but all it says about you is that you are a man who notices beautiful women.
And for some women, those who are not totally comfortable with their own beauty (especially those who's self image does not map to their appearance), this compliment actually confuses them, and makes them very defensive. They react as if they are waiting for the punchline, like when they were plain and unlovely back in grade school and some asshole kid wrote her a valentine and then laughed at her with all his asshole friends when she confessed her crush on him.
You are not an asshole. You are a man. A man notices things about women that the assholes don't, and understands what is most important to women.
What is most important to them is NOT to be beautiful, or stunning, or hot, or spectacular, or any other bullshit come-on they've already heard.
What matters most to them, what they dream of every night, is that someone cares for them. Someone will protect them. Nurture them. Hold them close and enjoy them for who they are: a cute girl.
All women want to be loved like little sisters, but there's a deeper level. They want to be loved like daughters.
They all want someone to allow them to drop their shields and see through to the little girl who loves puppies and ice cream and Sunday mornings lazing in bed in fluffy pajamas. When you tell her that you see how cute she is, this is what she hears. Finally, someone notices the girl that was always there.
There's lots more to say on this topic, especially on how to follow this opener with consistency and intent, but for now, that's it. I encourage everyone to at least experiment with this direct, natural, warm approach, and see what happens. See what responses you get. See how many smiles you create. Hell, see if you don't find yourself smiling a little knowing that you have the ability, really and genuinely, to create a little more joy in the world.
And really, isn't that the highest motivation for us all? Remember, always leave her better than you found her.
- Sean
But just in time for the long holiday weekend here in the U.S., here's an article that gives you all the tools you need to talk to any cute girl you see, and make a great, powerful, sexy first impression.
And you know that attraction happens right away, or not at all, so that first impression matter most.
Have fun!
The words used for an opener are not as important as the intent, the energy, and the commitment you bring to it.
That said, I do like to think I have one absolute fall-back every time 100% effective opener. This is something that anyone can use, anytime, any skill level, any environment. For instance, if you are any of the following:
- You are just starting out and dealing with the daunting task of approaching women for the first time (and wondering how in the hell anyone ever does anything this scary). This will get you started and get you positive responses immediately.
- You can do cold approaches but have trouble running a full story, or making an opinion opener sound right, or aren't able to jump right into fun banter right away. This gives you the open and lets her know right away you are more than just a guy making conversation. You are a guy flirting with her, and totally comfortable doing it.
- You can run attraction to the end of time but find that the girl never fully commits to you, but lets you entertain her until the guy she really connects with comes along. This establishes right from the start that you are confident, sexual, and have intent, and rewards her for being the woman who is deserving of that attention (for right now).
- You are a high-value guy and finding that you come on too strong for some girls and over game them without even realizing it. This will get them smiling and comfortable and let them relax and appreciate your interest.
- You are super-advanced and want to see just how basic you can break it down. This can make the game ridiculously easy now that you have internalized all the lessons of value and fun and the potential for great intimacy and sexual fulfillment you have to offer.
Seriously. Any one. Any time. Any where. I challenge you to come up with a scenario where this will not open.
I think of this as three yards and a cloud of dust. It's not the flashy aerial attack, and you may never break free and take it straight to the house with this one, but you'll always gain positive yardage.
So what is the secret? Simple. Give her an honest compliment. But there are some nuances to be aware of. Here are the exact words I open with.
"I know this is kind of random, but I had to tell you that you are just too cute."
Now here is what I think makes this work. First, I walk up confident but not cocky. I am not fucking around here, and I am not saying this to get attention. This isn't a joke or a put on and she's not on Punk'd. I'm doing this as a gift from me to her.
I take the frame that she is lovely to look at (for whatever reason -- you needn't save this for the scorching hotties -- any woman who catches your eye for any reason is deserving of a compliment).
Ben/Orion said in a DYD interview that his frame in opening is to make a woman smile, and that always struck me as a wonderful general philosophy. Yes, you want to give her the opportunity for so much more than that, but if you know in your heart that you have the ability to make pretty girls smile at any time, that you really do believe that everything she does is cute, then why would you ever be afraid to talk to her?
Would you not then know that you do have a power to use for good?
Do you not understand how much people, and women in particular, need, crave, and pine for real appreciation?
When you approach a woman and tell her there is something special about her that you can't help but see, you create a world where only the two of you exist, a world she gets to visit far too rarely.
Here's something else to keep in mind. I've read other approaches similar to this which take the same idea, but leave it a little more open to interpretation. I think it is critical that the compliment itself be as subtle and as nourishing as possible, and it has to be about HER, not about her clothes, or stuff.
I've tested this with telling a woman that she is gorgeous, or lovely, or stunning, but I've never found anything that gets as consistently positive and comfortable responses as the word "cute." I think there's some deep psychology and subtle social cue stuff at work here.
If you tell a woman you do not know how beautiful she is, she takes that compliment as an offering to her altar. She may appreciate it, but all it says about you is that you are a man who notices beautiful women.
And for some women, those who are not totally comfortable with their own beauty (especially those who's self image does not map to their appearance), this compliment actually confuses them, and makes them very defensive. They react as if they are waiting for the punchline, like when they were plain and unlovely back in grade school and some asshole kid wrote her a valentine and then laughed at her with all his asshole friends when she confessed her crush on him.
You are not an asshole. You are a man. A man notices things about women that the assholes don't, and understands what is most important to women.
What is most important to them is NOT to be beautiful, or stunning, or hot, or spectacular, or any other bullshit come-on they've already heard.
What matters most to them, what they dream of every night, is that someone cares for them. Someone will protect them. Nurture them. Hold them close and enjoy them for who they are: a cute girl.
All women want to be loved like little sisters, but there's a deeper level. They want to be loved like daughters.
They all want someone to allow them to drop their shields and see through to the little girl who loves puppies and ice cream and Sunday mornings lazing in bed in fluffy pajamas. When you tell her that you see how cute she is, this is what she hears. Finally, someone notices the girl that was always there.
There's lots more to say on this topic, especially on how to follow this opener with consistency and intent, but for now, that's it. I encourage everyone to at least experiment with this direct, natural, warm approach, and see what happens. See what responses you get. See how many smiles you create. Hell, see if you don't find yourself smiling a little knowing that you have the ability, really and genuinely, to create a little more joy in the world.
And really, isn't that the highest motivation for us all? Remember, always leave her better than you found her.
- Sean
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