My Approach To Day Game

My mate Grungey10 sent me this article to give to you. Enjoy.

Lately I've been thinking about the structure I use in meeting women during the day. Here's the simple structure that I use during the first day. There's lots of little things I do in addition to it, but I'll give you a general overview.

I call it "ECCENTRIC"

I discuss this more in my newsletters and programs. It's a structure that flows smoothly from stage to stage. I will share with you guys the first four steps I use.

PRE APPROACH- Make sure you have the right non verbal communication. Good eye contact, relaxed body language, Powerful and Resonating vocal projection, and a smile on the opener.

*This structure isn't necessarily linear, Some steps occur at the same time and some you can mix together*

I. Engage- Start up the conversation

Skills needed:
- Opening smoothly
- Anti Blow out/Rejection Tactics
- Calibrating the proper opener for the situation

II. Captivate- Pull her in to your reality and start leading the interaction

- Some girls will contribute right away to the conversation and some won't your job is to lead them.
- Go first principle: If you want them to do something then you should do it first. If you want them to start opening up then do it first.

Skills needed:
- Spontaneous story telling
- Reality Pacing
- Conversational Vibing
- Comfort Accelerating Tactics

III. Connect- Building an emotional connection otherwise known as "The Heart Of Day Game"

Skill needed
- Deep Rapport
- Wide Rapport
- The Art of Relating on surface and core level values
- Fractionating between deep and wide rapport
- The silent pause
- Regression and other emotional connection tactics



IV. Escalate- This is where you take it to the next level

SKill needed
- Building verbal and non verbal sexual tension
- 4 gear shifting theory and application
- Isolation
- Instant Dating
- Multiple Venue changing
- Spontaneous Activity
- Getting her back to the car tactic
- Escalating Physical activity
- Planning the next date and getting her number

These are some of the tools I've used in the past. You don't need all of them, It's just an overview of my overall structure. I'll discuss this in depth in the future. I'll post my structure for a day 2 or Day 1 (If ever you decide to bring her home that same day) sometime soon.

Grungey10

Pickup101 Is Hiring

Ok, Craig from Pickup 101 asked me to pop this on the blog for the thousands of you to read. It could be a great thing for some of you.

PickUp 101 Is Hiring!

Here's your chance to be a part of something that most guys just dream about. You could be the next person working for one of the world's best known and fastest growing dating and seduction workshop companies.

Plus you'll work side-by-side with Lance Mason and his team of expert instructors. Even if all you did was suck up everything said at workshops like a fly on the wall, you couldn't help but skyrocket your game.

You'll get more than that as one of the fringe benefits is company training for employees in attraction, rapport, direct game, etc. In other words, you get paid and you get free workshops and coaching.

Is this beginning to sound like a cool job? If so, keep reading, you may be the one we want.

Now to be honest, this isn't all fun and going out to meet women. This is a serious business, and you'll be getting training in how a small business works and grows. There are some long days, but you won't get hands on experience like this in some big boring corporation.

You don't need a lot of experience. You'll be expected to learn fast, and we'll give you as much as you can handle.

If you have an entrepreneurial spirit, a good healthy dose of common sense, and aren't afraid of responsibility, then you're the kind of person we are looking for.

There are currently 3 positions open. Follow the link below for full descriptions and to learn how to apply.

One more thing, it's important... You must be in the San Francisco area, or willing to relocate. A big part of each position will be helping with workshops, seminars, and other live events.

PickUp 101 Job Listings & Descriptions

Going For The Kiss (Killer Technique)

Stephen Nash has done it again, some natural, and efficient way of kissing.

Mailbag time gentlemen. This is where we take a particularly interesting question from someone that we feel challenges A LOT of guys out there. Today's covers a particularly sensitive topic -how to go for the kiss. Most guys won't admit it, but they fumble this moment like a rookie running back. Want to be Walter Payton?

Listen up:

Dear Stephen,

Recently, I was out on a date with a great girl I met at a party. A number of times in the evening, she would look at me and hold the stare a bit longer than usual. I kept thinking, "she wants me to kiss her". I was so nervous though, that I never went for it! What is the best way to set-up a kiss with a girl? I mean, I know how to kiss her, I just wonder if there is a cool way to make the move. Help!

Thanks,

Darren
CT

Darren, Darren, Darren...I feel your pain, man. First of all, don't worry - this is by far the TOP question I get from guys. "How do I smoothly go from talking to kissing?" Surprisingly, even the most skilled guys I've come across are constantly looking to handle this tricky situation a bit better. This skill is covered in my ebook, "How To Get A Girlfriend" and in the CEIC audio product, "Natural Attraction".

Here we go - the step-by-step guide to being super smooth when it's time to smootch:

In my estimation, this is where most guys blow it. They know the girl is ready to be kissed, yet they freeze up and pass a bunch of good opportunities to make a move, waiting for that perfect one. Even worse, they'll wait hoping the woman will make the first move.

If you're the kind of guy who hesitates, I got news for you... There are no perfect windows of opportunity, just many good ones, and 99% of the time she will not be the first to initiate any form of intimacy. If she does, consider yourself lucky.

How do we handle this slightly awkward situation? Very simply. The key here is spotting these good, small windows of opportunity and then taking advantage of them. Still better is to just create these windows yourself.

Let's cover this point-by-point:

1) The first thing to make sure of is that you're both having a good time, getting along well and physical contact has been established. It could be anything from holding hands, to a playful push on the shoulder. At this point it is important that she has touched you in some way indicating interest on her part.

2) When you feel you have reached this point, start slowing down the energy of the interaction. Start subtly moving a bit closer to her, slowing down your speech, and take longer pauses between sentences. The thought here is SUBTLE.

3) Now here's the secret, the one move that will assure you to be remembered by her as the smoothest guy ever... During each of those pauses in your conversation, stare at her lips. You can even start talking again, though slowly, still staring at her lips. Start slowly moving in closer. The words you're saying at this point become irrelevant; the sexual tension in the air will be too thick.

4) Slowly move your eyes from her mouth to her eyes and back again. If she has not moved away, or shown any sign of unease, you can place a hand on her hip and bring her in closer.

5) Usually she will lean in the rest of the way and kiss you. After all, at this stage, your lips should only be an inch or two away from hers.

Congratulations! In her mind, you are the world's smoothest man.

Pickup 101 Workshop Review - NYC

I just got this email from Zman, a guy that I met at the recent Pickup 101 New York, Art of Attraction workshop. He asked me to post this review, it's a good explanation of what went down. I attended two days of it, I noticed that when the first day was done, the guys couldn't wait to go out and test the techniques.

Background

I took PickUp 101's Art of Attraction workshop in New York this past weekend from 7/7/06-7/9/06. In terms of basic personal information, I first learned about the "community" upon reading The Game in November '05. Prior to the workshop, I had done about 30-40 approaches with moderate results. Over the years, I have had intermittent success with women, but always felt like I was getting lucky, instead of getting skilled with women. In other words, I did okay with women, but didn't always know how or why the attraction happened and would become frustrated when it didn't. As a result, I decided to take a workshop as a means to take things up a few notches and truly get this area of my life handled. This is my first workshop experience, but I do have products from all other major U.S. pickup/seduction companies (MM, Juggler, RSD, SS, DYD, Thundercat, Swingcat, etc.). Based on my evaluation of the numerous products that I own as well as through reading workshop reviews from both PU 101 and their competitors, PU 101 seemed to be the most congruent with my style and personality-so I chose them. The core PU 101 instructors for this workshop were Lance, Sean and Daniel. In a nutshell, I had a fantastic experience with these guys, but since it's a review, not a public relations piece, I will also offer some constructive criticism at the end to help people genuinely evaluate the merits of PU 101.

Workshop Structure

When you sign up for the workshop, you receive pre-workshop handouts and homework which include foundational material including pickup/attraction theory, breakdown and examples of: opening, main attraction tools, overgaming, blowouts, lockup, and other pertinent information, so that you are familiar with and prepared for the workshop in advance. This was a huge plus as it really cut down on lecture and redundancy during the actual workshop. The workshop itself is VERY interactive and experiential both during the day and in-field. The day portion of the workshop generally consisted of a couple of hours of lecture sprinkled throughout the day and 5-6 hours of group and individual exercises until field work at night. Essentially, the daytime portion provided tons of practical exercises with lots of fine tuning and feedback from the instructors, videotape, students and female assistants.

The main areas of exercises were:

Daytime-Exercises
Approaching/Opening-You can use your own opener or have one provided for you by instructors based on what is comfortable for you/what you are trying to convey about yourself (i.e. a fun guy, sexy guy, suave guy, etc). Flirting-type openers seemed to be more encouraged and were more popular than neutral/opinion openers, but ultimately, they leave it up to you and will calibrate it for you. You do lots of mock approaches with both men and women and various scenarios are presented for you to practice.

Body Language- You learn how to use your entire body to project strong physical confidence through use of facial expressions, standing, walking, sitting, and hand gestures. These are essential non-verbal communication skills and if you nail them, it really doesn't matter what you say.

Banter- You learn how to playfully flirt (i.e. something smells great it here, oh, it's me…) and when/how to use banter appropriately. We would pick a few banter lines and role play/improv them to death. The understanding and delivery of example banter lines thoroughly increased my comfort level to consistently flirt early in interactions and really amp up attraction.

Kino- You learn how to touch early on in an interaction, how to escalate, how to calibrate touch for a given situation, and most importantly, test for attraction. If you don't know when and how to touch, it will definitely be awkward for both you and her. If you do know, you will generate attraction quickly. Girls can tell how good/experienced you are by how you touch them.

Storytelling- You can use either your own attraction story or one of many field-tested PU 101 attraction stories. The emphasis on stories is that they are to generally be used as a crutch/training wheels to keep you in the interaction or keep the energy up if you are having trouble bantering or vibing and need "material".

Routine Stack- This is the integration of all of the above areas. Our personal routine stacks were individually developed and practiced as a means to help us generate attraction and have a successful first three minutes of an interaction. The paradox here is that the more comfortable you become with your routine stack, the less you will actually need to rely on it. It's all about feeling comfortable.

Nighttime-Fieldwork
Fieldwork was scheduled for 3 hours per night at bars for the first two nights (daygame is a separate workshop) with a 2-1 or 3-1 student to instructor ratio. I'm not going to get into specifics about my experience with particular sets because it will make this long review, way too long. However, please don’t attribute the lack of elaboration to having negative results. Both nights we started off by doing warm-up sets in the street or on line at the bars using situational openers (i.e. time, directions, good place to go, etc).

On the first night, me and one other student were paired up with Sean. He was incredible as an instructor because he is so natural and non-routine oriented. He demonstrated very effectively and effortlessly (like a great golf swing), provided solid feedback when necessary and stayed out well past the required 3 hours. At around 4am, we all went to a diner to debrief. During the first night, opening lots of sets was encouraged as a means to get comfortable with the basics that we practiced during the day. We then would leave the set shortly thereafter and move onto the next one. I opened 20-25 sets and nearly all went very well for me (i.e. I did not get blown out). Due to both Sean and the daytime practice, everything about the evening was low pressure, comfortable, relaxed and consequently, very successful.

On the second night, me and two other students were paired up with a part-time guest-instructor. He was a good guy who was somewhat less involved than Sean, but was very positive, provided some feedback and winged with us a bit. Since I was doing well in approaching and interacting without him, he just generally let me do my thing and focused more on students who needed the instruction. During this night, I applied my routine stack which was fully developed by the end of the second day of the workshop. Consequently, I only opened about 8 sets (not including warm-ups) and stayed in interactions significantly longer. Again on this night, the instructor stayed out later than required and it became very obvious to me that PU 101 really cares about the students and their results-they do not just punch the clock.

Overall, yes, I met lots of women, got numbers, and kisses over the two nights, but that was secondary to practicing, honing, trusting and ultimately, believing that what I learned during the daytime exercises could/did work very effectively and consistently in-field (with or without an instructor by my side).

Additional Information/Notes
-Lance provided a fashion consultation for all students and made individualized suggestions about wardrobe, grooming, shopping and anything else related to conveying an attractive look.

-Day 2 closing steps, basic rapport and other applicable information to move your game forward (once you are consistently generating attraction) were also covered with lecture near the end of the three day workshop.

-The core instructors (Lance, Sean and Daniel) were superb at both teaching and demonstrating. They were genuine about making sure that each student really got the information and were able to apply it. While the instructors all shared the same overall philosophy, they had different, yet effective styles in communicating their material, but had no ego-EVER.

-The instructors struck a fine balance between keeping feedback positive and supportive, while still being honest and constructive as needed.

-The workshop definitely had structure and a method to the madness, but it was quite manageable and digestible, whereby it was not overwhelmingly linear. One thing would build upon the next, so that you would feel the momentum of increasing skill level and confidence day by day.

-Students in the workshop were at various skills levels, but all seemed to make excellent strides over the three days and approached numerous sets without major approach anxiety.

-Students were able to provide workshop evaluations anonymously on a computer to ensure honesty about individual experiences.

Minor Areas of Improvement
-There could have been a bit more structure related to mapping out the bars that we would be going to in-field as well as in assigning instructors to students. This was done somewhat last minute and caused very minor complications (i.e. waiting on line), but it all worked out in the end. This may run smoother when they run their workshops in more familiar San Francisco territory, where they are based.

-Due to the workshop being in NY, part-time guest instructors, with not always the same skill level/ philosophy as the core PU 101 instructors were employed at night in-field. Additionally, having students meet field instructors for the first time, five minutes before going out with them in-field is probably not the best system to make a student feel totally comfortable. The need to use guest instructors was somewhat understandable due to PU 101 being based out of SF. Again, if you take their workshop in SF, this would also probably not be an issue. On the plus side, they did not charge extra for the NY workshop, even though the core instructors likely had to pay hotel and travel accommodations as well as hire guest instructors and female assistants.

-At times, I would have appreciated a bit more feedback from the instructors when in-field about actual social dynamics at the bars. While the instructors were certainly involved and attentive, I am an analytical person and would have liked more breakdown and play-by play of the environment. There also could have been a bit more proactive, constructive criticism offered in-field upon my ejecting from a set, but it was provided whenever I asked. In the instructors’ defense, I was often in sets and pretty successful (thanks to the exercises) with limited downtime, so maybe they didn’t find it necessary to harp on my minor issues.

-While the workshop was only three days long and there is only so much you can fit in, I probably could have benefited from a slightly stronger focus on vibing-of course, I'm not sure which area of the workshop that I would have wanted to be cut out instead.

Summary
Overall, I would rate the PickUp 101 Art of Attraction Workshop a 95 out of 100. I had high expectations for this workshop based on the many glowing PU 101 workshop reviews that I had read, but it still did not disappoint. Additionally, I had been signed up and was waiting for nearly four months to take the workshop, so I can assure you that I would be the first to acknowledge if it didn't live up to the hype. While there were a few small areas that kept the workshop from achieving total perfection, it was pretty damn close.

If you are seeking a workshop that will develop your game very naturally and congruently, then look no further than PU 101. The "community" now seems to be evolving more toward natural and individualized game and these guys are on the forefront of delivering it. Conversely, if you think that the techniques in The Game are the best/only way to meet and attract women, then find another workshop. PU 101 does not use jargon, force you to use stock routines, lines or anything else that could be considered incongruent, unnatural, demeaning or manipulative. The bottom line after taking this workshop is that I can go to bed at night and know that what I learned was highly potent and powerful attraction material that will NEVER make me or a woman feel bad about using it. How is that for being confident and congruent?

Check out Pickup101's workshop schedule here.

Mistakes That "Turn Women Off" INSTANTLY

I really liked this newsletter from our mate David D. He really nails it sometimes.

I'd like to tell you a story...

It's a story that you might find strangely familiar. Don't be alarmed.

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a particular woman.

At first, she was just another attractive woman... but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her.

But, there was one problem.

As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.

Why?

Because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him.

Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the "friendship" stage.

There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and once, she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional issue.

But, something was wrong with the picture.

She just wasn't acting like a woman that was "falling in love". She was acting like a friend.

The insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend.

Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to want to spend with him.

After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally arrived at the conclusion that, if she only knew how HE FELT, she would feel the same way.

So, he made a bold move.

He TOLD HER how he felt.

He confessed that he was in love and that he would do anything to be with her.

She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said, "Thank you... I really mean that... but I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're too important to me...."

This only confused the man more.

He didn't know how to take it...

Did it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something?

Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long term relationship?

Did it mean that she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint?

Did it mean that he hadn't tried hard enough?

Did it mean that he needed to put everything on the line and REALLY let her know how he felt?

He finally decided that he couldn't go on like this anymore... he had to be with her.

He had to make sure that she knew just how much he wanted to be with her... so, he took a big step - He bought her a symbolic gift and wrote her a long, long letter... again confessing his feelings.

And then, the unthinkable happened.

She didn't reply.

He called her three times a day for almost a week before reaching her.

She made an excuse about being very busy and said, "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go"... and hung up...

but... he never got a call back.

Over the following months the man tried desperately to understand what went wrong... and what happened.

THE END

OK, I'm back.

Now, wasn't that a sweet story?

Heartwarming, huh?

I know, I should keep my day job, and not take up writing romance novels...

Now, let's talk about that story.

That story is basically a MYTH.

And I'm not talking about FICTION here.

I'm talking about a story that rings true for a great majority of men. A story that is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY with it.

And why does this particular story resonate for most men?

Because we've all been there in one way or another... at one time or another... and many of us have been there OFTEN in our lives.

Another thing that gives this particular story a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions that it stirs... as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it reminds us of...

Stories and situations like this one really FASCINATE me.

They fascinate me because I see them as an opportunity to UNDERSTAND and SOLVE the puzzles that they represent.

In this particular situation I think there is a solution.

And it lies in understanding a secret that women know, but MEN DON'T.

And that secret comes down to the reality that if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his attempts to confess his love, convince her to like him, and court her BACKFIRE.

In other words, they not only DON'T WORK, they actually make things WORSE.

The very things that a man does to try to make a woman LIKE HIM, make her NOT like him.

They make her run.

All those great intentions and emotional dedication actually cause the man feeling them to do things that make her go away.

It sucks.

And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens, I'll help you to avoid this painful situation in the future...

THE "INSTANT EWWW"

I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the message that we're communicating to others...

So often we think that just because we WANT to communicate a message, that others are going to NATURALLY understand what we're trying to say.

Have you ever seen a guy in a foreign car that has wheels on it that cost more than the car itself... with his stereo blasting... and a muffler that somehow AMPLIFIES the raw sound of the 4-cylinder motor...?

Have you ever thought to yourself, "I don't think that car is communicating the message to women that he thinks it is"...?

Yeah, I have too.

Well here's the deal:

If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"... but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it IS going to backfire.

It's going to trigger a feeling that I like to call the "Instant Ewww".

The "Instant Ewww" is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION.

Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE.

It's over.

It's like hammering a RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.

Once a woman feels the "Instant Ewww", she will start behaving differently.

In short, she'll disappear.

So where did I get the concept of the "Instant Ewww"?

I got it from WOMEN.

I have actually heard SEVERAL women use the word "Ewww" when describing how they felt about a guy that was "confessing his love"... Of course, these were guys that weren't loved in return.

So, what causes the "Instant Ewww"?

And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice... a guy who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels?

Because if you think about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment a you do something to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship.

Up until that point, you were harmless.

I mean, women always know how men feel.

She already knew you wanted her.

She knew it from the beginning.

But now that you've started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.

You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them.

In summary...

You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her...

Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you.

Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.

I mean, if you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more... and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.

On the other hand...

If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you.

Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl.

In their minds, it goes like this:

Like her -> Tell her you like her -> She likes you

Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.

If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:

She thinks of you as a friend -> You tell her you like her -> She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...

THE ANSWER

There are really TWO answers to this problem.

The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back.

DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.

Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter...

Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a note that says, "From your secret admirer".

Don't call her three times a day.

And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.

If you want to know how she feels about you, KISS HER (and use "The Kiss Test" that you learned on my website and in my book).

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN.

Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a romantic way or if you are "her type", will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you.

Really.

The SECOND answer is: Don't get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.

And how does one do that?

One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.

One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM THE BEGINNING.

And what's the best way to learn THAT skill?

I thought you'd never ask...

I've spent several years now studying the ways that men who are "naturals" communicate using their words, voice tone, and body language that makes them MAGNETIC to women.

And I'll tell you... it's not magic.

You don't have to be rich, handsome, or young.

And you don't have to be LUCKY.

What you DO have to do is LEARN.

It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY
man can learn it if he wants to.

But you're not likely to figure it out by "trial and error". Many of the keys to making women feel ATTRACTION aren't "obvious" at all.

In fact, many of them make no sense... and they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular situation if you didn't know the SECRETS.

I'm telling you, this eBook will help show you the way. I guarantee that this program will INSTANTLY change how you behave around women.

And, it will start getting you results IMMEDIATELY.

Go check out the details and some great free samples here.

And I'll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

The Future of Attraction Chronicles

This blog, as you know, takes up alot of my personal time. I don't mind it, because it's helping me grow, and helping you guys onto your road towards autonomy. (I just learnt that word, I'm so rad)

I created this quick 12 multiple-choice survey to get an idea of what you want. If you give me your opinion, you'll start to notice alot more of what you ACTUALLY WANT. Otherwise, it's more of my crap over and over. =) (IMO my crap is worth more than gold BTW)

It will literally take about 1 minute, and I'll take it as a personal favor!

Click here

If you aren't yet a subscriber to my newsletter, enter your name, and email in the fields underneath "Download Neil Strauss's Annihilation Report" to the top left of this screen.

I'll be sending a free gift for those survey takers via the newsletter, so subscribe before you fill it in!

Cheers,
Donovan

The Blowout Ejection Plan

At PickUp101, we teach a simple technique to use when you feel that the group you are talking to is no longer interested in talking to you that requires no coordination with others and no planning.

Just look at the group, gently place you hand on the arm of the person closest to you, and say something like:

"Hey, it was cool talking. I've got to catch up with my friends. Maybe I'll see you later."

Then leave. That's it. No lies (well, it's not always strictly true that you have to run right now to find your friends, but it's always socially appropriate) and no games. To the group it appears as though you have chosen to walk away, and to anyone watching it looks the same. You are polite, you are classy, and you let them know you are in control, and cool enough to keep them comfortable.

It also lets you leave on a high note. You're not scurrying away because they 'blew you out.' You are clearly stating that you choose to move on instead.

You are NOT the asshole who overstays his welcome (just think back on any house guest you ever had who just would not leave, and you will instinctively know why that is the very last thing you want to be.

What you say is very influential over what you think. If you say this, then you start to believe it. If you use any kind of trick to extricate yourself, you'll always feel a little sneaky.

When in doubt, look for the simplest solutions.

Sean

Neil Strauss's Short Film (Video)

I just received an email from Neil explaining the following:

"In my spare time, I wrote, directed, and starred in a movie. Just for the experience."

"Nikki Sixx of Motley Crue, the actor Jonathan Silverman,Patrick Cranshaw (from Old School), Matt Besser of the Upright Citizens Brigade, and Carmen Luvana. If you know who she is, you should get out more."

Click below, it's 22 mins long.


Shoot(2006) So you wanna be a rock star? All you need is a dream and the right dealer...

Style, Wayne Elise Video

I just came across some underground footage taken by some aspiring PUA's, at Neil Strauss's book signing of "The Game", also some sarges.

It features Wayne Elise (Juggler) and Neil Strauss (Style), with a guest appearance of Lisa Leveridge for half a second.

My Night With Stephen Nash

That title is for those of you that have seen Superman Returns... *cough cough*

I attended a NYC Lair meeting last night in New York City. It was a motley crew of different guys seeking different things.

Don Juan, who I'll be interviewing sooner rather than later, was in attendance. He's known as the kingpin of storytelling technique.

My main focus was on my friend, co-founder of Cutting Edge Image Consulting, Stephen Nash. Basically the credo of his company is a wholestic approach to a masculine lifestyle. I'll go over some of the valuable points I personally gained from Stephen, as he spoke for two hours. Let's just say he's in for the long haul with you, and not some gimmick to fix your love life. Just like a carrot dangling in front of you, which you can never obtain to finally statisfy your hunger, are the pickup gimmicks. The problem Stephen said is that not naturally attracting women is a symptom of a much larger issue. The issue that you're battling with won't disappear no matter how many successful sets you do. There is a macro problem with your life, not micro.

The overall theme was to make your life attractive to women, otherwise a woman of high quality (not just beauty) will eventually see you for who you really are: fool's gold. Stephen noted that sarging is this fools gold, you're emulating men with engaging personalities and trying to make their identity part of who YOU are. Women are attracted to this, until they FEEL the truth. Hence, not many pickup artists have solid long-lasting, healthy relationships.

Stephen presented two areas that I believe relate to incongruence. Congruence, I believe, doesn't come from repetition, it only comes from yourself. Congruence with your stories and identity, because they're your own. Those areas are responsiblity and context.

Stephen explained them this way. Responsibility is taking responsibility for your actions in your life. Nobody got you where you are today but yourself. If you're CONFUSED with women, you need to take DIRECTED ACTION that will bring your CLARITY in your life (DJ gave that equation). CONFUSION + DIRECTED ACTION = CLARITY.

The other area is context. Stephen related a metaphor. Imagine a beach party, in San Diego, with 21-24 year old women dressed in bikinis, and having a fun enjoyable time drinking with friends from college. Now imagine a 45 year old man, peacocked, and trying to open these women that have nothing in common with him. It's all about context.

Context transitioned into Nash's next point that you need to increase your social circle. This is where you meet women of quality. He gave us a number of important reasons why.

1. These women have common interests with you
2. These women already have mutual friends
3. You meet in a natural, non-pressured way

He told us that women that attend clubs, are like ADD children. They don’t go to clubs to meet men, they go to be stimulated, and they will leave you as soon as something more glittery comes along. Ask women you know if they would prefer to date a guy she met at a club, or through a mutual friend or a friends party.

After saying that, Stephen did relate that the clubs, bars, and lounges have there purpose. They provide a great practice ground to quickly increase your conversation and social skills, not to meet quality women. Webster Hall in NYC was the ongoing joke of the evening.

One of the most valuable points for me personally, is one that Stephen elaborated on during the first half an hour, that I actually forgot to write about till just now.

He told us about purpose.

He told us about goals.

What is your purpose? What are your goals?

It makes it very difficult for someone to be truly happy if they have no purpose, or goals. These will lead into what I will relate to you next.

You need a purpose, otherwise you're like a daffodil being directed by the ever changing weather.

You need goals, otherwise you'll never achieve or have a direction to reach your purpose.

He said, women know if you are immovable and solid in your purpose, and they love you for it.

The key is being Authentic and Powerful. How you spend your time, communicates to your brain what is real. So if you spend your time imbalanced (Like all your time at work, and not spending any time improving your health/body) then you will feel imbalanced.

He gave categories in which to set goals:

Financial, Community, Career, Health/Body, Family, Hobbies, Spiritual, Mission

One of the audience members asked how he can transition into a more natural style of game. He asked him what his purpose was. The guy seemed a tad perplexed. He said, he's ran 1000's of approaches, and he's told the same story a thousand times. He gets the same reaction, but said, that he wants a woman to appreciate him for him, not a story.

Stephen then gave a great insight (for me personally): Criteria is the only thing that should direct your conversation, and actions during pickup. This is known in the community called QUALIFYING. An example would be, that you love women with a passion for art. So would it make sense for you to attend Webster Hall to find a woman with that quality? Of course not. He said, you need to attend Art Gallery Openings, take art classes, and/or join communities in which art is appreciated. That is where you need to build you social circle.

Make's sense right? Does it ring true?

You conversations should be like this (if you want a women with a passion for art):

HIM: "I visited the a new gallery opening over in Chelsea this weekend. The artist was a close friend of mine, have you heard of Stephen Nash Donovan?"

HER: "No, I've never heard of him. He sounds cool. (lol) What kind of art?"

HIM: "Well, I've tried to convince him to go off nude paintings of me and branch out more, you know hit the mainstream. He keeps insisting, he casually mentions things like "greek god" or something...."

HER: "Haha!"

HIM: "To be honest, I love his work, and his style is what sets him apart. He's mostly a surrealist, he really creates this world that just envelopes your mind and takes you for a journey. He also extraggrates aspects of his paints, which helps his
nude paintings of me!"

HER: "I love that type of art. I've a big Picassco fan, but I don't get to get out to many gallery openings these days, cause of work and all."

HIM: "You should really come out and meet him. I've been meaning to go back and see some of the paintings I missed on the opening night. How does Thursday evening sound?"

HER: "That sounds awesome, do you mind if I ravish your godly body like the dirty girl I am?"

Ok, the last line was made up...

Stephen then told us that you're interesting by the content of what your saying, combined with the style.

Style is your voice tone, body language, how you present the information through questions, statements and storytelling. The content is the actual story.

Read the interview that I did with Stephen a month or so ago here.

Date Destroying Mistakes Part 1

This was an email from Lance Mason. This one stood out from the bunch, I thought the points were great and easy to follow.

Today I wanted to talk to you about the key mistakes men make on a 'date'. I'm using the word 'date' because that's what most people call it. I often refer to it as a DAY-2 meeting.

A big reason for this is, what most men think of as a 'date', is all wrong. (I explain why in detail on my Everything You Know About Women Is Wrong program.)

Listen, the first 'date' (the day-2) is critical. You did everything right to get her attracted to you, and built enough comfort and rapport for her to actually meet you again (this can be a scary thing for a woman), so you don't want to blow it by screwing up your first date.

Fact is, if a woman shows up by herself to meet you a second time... she WANTS you to seduce her. She wants you to lead her into more and more intimacy. She wants to be 'swept off her feet'!

This is an IMPORTANT POINT for you to realize. She is attracted to you, and she feels a connection with you or she would NOT be there.

Like Hitch says "No woman wakes up and says - God I hope I don't get swept off my feet today."

If she's there, all you need to do is be the man and lead her through the experience, and make sure you don't fuck it up.

So I'm going to go over the most common mistakes that screw guys up during those all
important first hours with a woman.

If all you did from this day forward, is make sure you AVOID making these mistakes, you'll be making a lot of women (and yourself) very happy.


Mistake #1) Not Running Attraction At The Beginning Of The Date

It's essential to remind her why she came to meet you in the first place - you're a sexy guy, and that means confident, funny, and socially aware.

Don't over do it, but if you leave this out two things can happen. First she may question her decision to meet you. and Second, you may slip into your old familiar 'nice guy' patterns which will further kill any attraction she had.

The best attraction material is to use is one or two banter lines. For example, tease her about how her being early shows how much she wants you.

Mistake #2) Not Touching Her Right Away

If you did a good job during the pickup, you touched the girl a fair bit. Don't start over, and don't set yourself up for landing in the friend zone.

As soon as you see her next, give her a hug and perhaps even kiss her on the cheek. Then, keep touching her frequently during the date.

Touch her in the way that lets her know you are comfortable with women, and that brings her into your 'inner circle'.

If #1 and #2 sound a lot like the advice I give you for attraction, there is a solid reason. These skills are not just for meeting women, these are skills for every phase of being with a woman.

This is a KEY LEARNING! Just like a woman will always work to keep you attracted, you must do the same. This is where guys drop the ball in relationships.


Mistake #3) Not Leading - Not Being 'The Man'

Have a plan and a role for her in the plan and instruct her each step of the way.

Don't ever say, "OK," to a request she makes. If she resists, bust on her playfully and stick to your plan. Unless, of course, she's trying to speed things up, in which case you want to be flexible... but still not a wimp.

Don't be an asshole, be firm and playful.

There are so many reasons why this is important, but I'm just going to give you one. Women will tell you that a huge turn off is a guy who doesn't take control on a date. Don't believe me, just ask some women.

There are other good reasons for planning your day-2, some of which should be obvious, such as being near your home when things go well.


Mistake #4) Doing Something That Costs Money

This isn't about being 'cheap'. Spending money drops you into the traditional dating frame.

If you spend money, she'll tend to put up her defenses. This is because she has already experienced so many guys trying to 'buy' her affection.

Most men believe the same society bullshit and think it's how you impress a woman.

If she spends money, it's worse, and you'll both feel very awkward.

Besides, there are so many things you can do that are fun and cost next to nothing. And you can be totally unlike any guy she's ever dated by doing creative and unusual fun things with her.


Mistake #5) Planning Long Dates

Many guys hope to get laid on the first date, and they know from experience that this can take a number of hours so they plan a whole bunch of stuff for the first date.

This also puts pressure on her not unlike spending money.

When you plan a short date and the girl is giving you the right signals, you can always adjust the plan.

Besides, several short dates will get her to bed in less actual invested time than one long date because it will feel much longer to her, and she won't have to explain to her friends that she slept with you on the first date.

During the Art of Rapport workshop, I explain how I have even used a day-2 meeting that was exactly 45 minute long, and would have three to four of those scheduled in one night.

This sets me apart as being so totally different from any other guy she's met, that she wants to know more about me, and will be impatiently waiting for the day-3.

Key Learnings: What you should take away is this... Plan a short date that doesn't cost money and is fun and unique.

And immediately remind her of why she was attracted to you and be sure to touch her right away.

Do this and you'll be way ahead of most men in her eyes.

Look for Part II of this series soon.

Neil and Lisa Are No More

I don't really like to use this blog for rumors or "community personal gossip", but this one came from the source and is fairly relevant to the community.

Neil Strauss in his Stylelife Challenge Day 6 audio told us that he and Lisa had broken up. I confirmed this with a third-party source, and it wasn't Thundercat and no, I'm not Thundercat either.

Good luck to them both, I guess this means we can look forward to alot of new products with the Strauss logo branded on the side. Can't wait!!

UPDATE:

We'll I talked to Neil the other week and Lisa was in the background. Who knows... :) Perhaps not exclusive anymore, or perhaps gotten back together!

TV Show With Wayne Elise

Hey guys, so I got word from Charisma Arts that our mate Juggler (Wayne Elise) is going to be staring with some other of his instructors in a newly-created British show called "Seduction School". This was probably a great experience for Wayne and Johnny Savior. It's airing on Channel 4 sometime in the next 5 months.

Read all the other details on Juggler's blog at Charisma Arts.

Looks like Juggler beat Mystery to the reality show finish line!